Hi, Chance!! Here's a huge warm welcome to 7Cups!! :) I am very glad to hear that you have had a positive experience with some of the listeners on here and I hope that you continue to do so. I think that you're really brave for sharing your story with us.
I am so so sorry to hear of your struggles, and it pains me to know that you have been through this situation. You really don't have to apologize for anything, though, again; you have been very brave in posting this and- us listeners are here to listen and offer support, after all! :) I understand that talking about trauma can be a very difficult and scary thing to do, but please don't feel the need to apologize for being "vague" or "venting". :) It's okay! We're all here for you. You have been through a lot, and we all want to support you! I think that you're very strong for getting to the point where you are now, and for posting this on 7Cups.
By talking about this for the first time a few hours ago, you are taking the right steps. I'm really proud of you for reaching a point where you felt comfortable enough to talk. You ask yourself "Why did it take me 15 years to gather enough courage to say something to anyone?"- Trauma affects everybody differently, as we are all different, and it takes some of us longer than others to talk about painful memories and situations which affected us so deeply- this is completely okay and normal!
There's a very helpful resource on trauma here that may help you get a better insight to the questions that you have asked at the end of your post. It includes a checklist to help you identify which areas of trauma that you mainly deal with (we all respond to traumatic situations differently, of course, so it can be helpful to personally identify and reflect on the challenges that we face due to our trauma so that we can choose the best coping method/s for our situation) and then goes on to give a background of PTSD to really help you understand what you are going through. It then goes on to help you identify any patterns that may occur in your trauma and introduces some coping mechanisms. There's a lot of information here, and I understand that it may all seem very very daunting at first! Please only approach this when you feel ready to, it's okay to do a little bit of the worksheet and come back to it if you feel as if it is too much for you at one time.
There's also a great guide to traumatic experiences on 7Cups, which you can access here if you wish to/feel ready to. It contains some really great exercises that were designed to help people that are suffering from trauma.
I really hope that these resources are of some help to you! Again, please read over them when you feel emotionally up to it, and don't feel pressured into reading them. If you don't want to read them at all, then that's fine! I am just recommending them incase they are of any help. :)
Please know that the things that you are experiencing are natural reactions to the trauma that you have faced, and that you are doing a great job at taking steps towards healing by sharing this with us today. Stay strong and hang in there <3