In The Gloaming TW *just in case*
With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.
A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.
While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.
Have you ever - gotten so side tracked while doing a post in here - you had to close the box to make sure you were where you should be? Ah - good times
I have a ratittude today - oh yes
and a short fuse and Idgaf
@mytwistedsoul
😉😎.vroom-vroom...
@mytwistedsoul
Zayde Wolf - Learnt their songs from Dude Perfect - "No Limits"
@mikenai
Haha Dude Perfect is fun
@ThePizza
Well, wished I could use YouTube for the "correct" form of entertainment than current.
@mikenai
Are you talking about all the videos and coverage of the pandemic? I agree that those have gotten pretty tiresome
@mytwistedsoul
Have you ever - gotten so side tracked while doing a post in here - you had to close the box to make sure you were where you should be? Ah - good times
I have a ratittude today - oh yes
and a short fuse and Idgaf
One of my major behavior flaws with technology + multitasking.
The lost of mindful-ness, objectivity, concentration when I start Multi-Tabbing.
Worse when you get a higher resolution display.
Until I get so mentally and physically exhausted (sometimes even breatheless) when I started off doing just one thing, exploded to multi x multi tasks - If i can catch/shake myself out of it, I try to snap out of it and do as follows...
(For Windows 10 only) Save any "unsaved" stuffs -> Start Button -> Power -> Shut Down -> Sit down on bed or Walk off the computer.
Come back again, once I know what you want to do.
Found out yesterday that there's a cousin that has covid now and her kids tested positive too. Maybe I should feel more about it then I do but - I don't really care ya know? All it did was bring up alot of bad feelings family wise and alot of anger
@mytwistedsoul
Found out yesterday that there's a cousin that has covid now and her kids tested positive too. Maybe I should feel more about it then I do but - I don't really care ya know? All it did was bring up alot of bad feelings family wise and alot of anger
Your feelings on the matter are valid-- I think it's wrong that we are taught that we must feel connected to every single person in our family. I've had a few great aunts who passed away, and even though I met them a few times I didn't really feel much about it either. Mainly I just felt bad for the people who had been close to them. And it doesn't help that there are already bad feelings associated with family-- yet another thing to have to deal with it. NTW (I hope she doesn't mind me calling her that lol-- hi @NoneTheWiser is it cool if I call you NTW?) is right, it is noticed when you've been quiet. I hope you're well :)
@mytwistedsoul
Found out yesterday that there's a cousin that has covid now and her kids tested positive too. Maybe I should feel more about it then I do but - I don't really care ya know? All it did was bring up alot of bad feelings family wise and alot of anger
I thought the response for this will be sensitive to different individuals. So I gave abit of consideration thought.
I may not reply any comment further after this following comment.
---------
If you noticed, you actually did considered both thought process. I will say it is what that makes us human to have such behaviors?
There aint a right or wrong way to behave, nor how one-self should be thinking.
The final decision or outcome of the process is also up to no limits. Furthermore the made decision does not require to be justified nor critisied upon.
In your case, if you felt it that way, it could be affected by factors like emotions or hurt or guilt or anger or karma or grudge or anything. - Well 3rd party viewers can blame it on the mind playing tricks on you. But no one can understand the pain you felt to have chosen the said decision.
Yes that it hurts to hear the news. And in certain situations, we are also unable to think in our own ways but to hold the "grudge" pain and still help out. It sucks, and still we have to hold on.
Don't blame yourself for the choices you've made. So long you are agreeable with.
Take Care.
------------------
Tunes
Missio - Hoodie Up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F35F5A7F4P4
Flight Paths - The Absence of Light
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CkR8gFjo4Q&pp=wgIECgIIAQ%3D%3D
GoldTop x Sam Tinnesz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msNPeTuXUIs
Robert DeLong - Global Concepts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JND-sxlg7YU
HellYeah - Oh My God **TW - Gory video*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfEzazCrFM0
HellYeah - Welcome Home
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeO03cdClE0
HellYeah - Black Flag Army
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH669JbK_6Q
Lyrics
They made you feel like you're not strong
Been taking fire from the dawn
There ain't no chains around your feet
Thorn in your side, don't let it be
Keep your head up
Don't look down this time
Keep your head up
Keep your head up
No fear in your eyes
Keep your head up
You're not an outsider
You are a born fighter
Go and take it back
One battle at a time
More than a hell raiser
Heaven, a world changer
Go and take it back
One battle at a time
We are soldiers, yeah (We are soldiers)
We are soldiers (We are soldiers)
You were made to beat the odds
That breath inside you is from the gods
You're taking punches, but underneath
A heart of steel will never bleed
Keep your head up
Don't look down this time
Keep your head up
Keep your head up
No fear in your eyes
Keep your head up
You're not an outsider
You are a born fighter
Go and take it back
One battle at a time
More than a hell raiser
Heaven, a world changer
Go and take it back
One battle at a time
We are soldiers, yeah (We are soldiers)
We are soldiers (We are soldiers)
We'll march on
We'll march on
We'll march on
Come on march on
Have a thumper of a headache - again. Had one yesterday and the day before. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. Seem to spend an awful lot of time wading through bullshit. Worried about the new rules here - saying the wrong thing - it adds to the stress ya know? At the same time though - I kind of dont care. Idk - depressed maybe. Overthinking things but under thinking other things sometimes. Underneath it all - anger. At myself - at others - at the world. Idk - maybe it's disappointment. I think I disappoint myself alot
Her insidious voice constantly - whispering in my head - some of it has a ring of truth to it and makes it hard to deny
Sometimes there's allmost a feeling of deja vu sometimes - Idk maybe that's not the right word. Sometimes it's like - the images play through your head - there's a feeling like youve seen them before but yet - Idk - its like you're a witness to someone else's dreams - Idk - its hard to explain
Like you're digging a grave just to bury a ghost - Idk
@mytwistedsoul
Dreaming other peoples' dreams? I've felt like that lately
I've also been trying to work through disappointment and other feelings directed inward-- my therapist suggested taking a little time to process it and then moving on. Maybe that might help you? Either way try to remember that your feelings and thoughts are valid <3
Hold on. <3
The wave crashes overhead - crushing you down into the sand. You drown in your own shit. Outlook is bleak - the anger felt earlier did nothing but drain you and now the reality of it sinks in as you realize you have to go over it again and again. All you're doing is chasing your own tail
Did you ever get the feeling that somewhere in your claymation brain that shit has been blown so far off the rails that there's nothing but carnage. The conductor is missing - people are screaming and somewhere someone is softly crying - probably you btw - just saying
@mytwistedsoul
I hope so...
@mytwistedsoul
Like you said Logan, I am a coward so I will not do anything to myself and am just doomed to waiting...and yes, I am bonkers...
@GreeenGlowingButterflee The one you're looking for isn't the one you found. And the one you found definitely isn't the one you want. In what delusion did it seem like a good idea to come here? We have nothing more to say to each other. Feel free to throw your tantrum though and spew all of your lies. What ever helps you sleep at night. I'm interested to see what you've come up with this time. I'll make popcorn.
@mytwistedsoul
I prefer my popcorn with cheese...Unlike you, I shall always be free Logan and your thread is public.
@GreeenGlowingButterflee My name isn't Logan. Your arguement is weak. That's the best you can do? This thread is public? So what, you lie to people and abuse them and then return revel in the glory? Of what? You may be able to force your way into threads but you can't force people to talk to you.
@mytwistedsoul
You just talk to me right now Logan...
Names in a dreamworld mean nothing...
@mytwistedsoul
An array of letters means nothing to me, I adress you by an "adress", a label.
@GreeenGlowingButterflee I may be mistaken but I think the name is K
@GreeenGlowingButterflee Ok asshole. See I can use labels too. Is this how you plan on spending your days? Tormenting the people of this website? You must be so pleased with your accomplishments. Big man with such big talk. You hide behind your phone or your screen preying on people like the pathetic parasite you are. A tick. A worm. A sick fuck who tortures animals. See that story I can believe. I doubted the cancer. Oh you had me fooled in the beginning. The more you talked though the more evident it was that you were a liar. You're brave enough to invade people's threads but you were too much of a coward to tell the truth.
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you.
@mytwistedsoul
I already agreed to you I am a coward and with what you wrote.
@mytwistedsoul
Do you think this i my first written insult attack? How much do you think it touched me? I know all that, you haven't told me amything new.
I wish you well...
@GreeenGlowingButterflee That woman cared for you. Why I have no idea. But she genuinely cared for you. And you did this to her. You don't even care.
Public or not. I will kindly ask that you avoid the threads of mytwistedsoul. You are not welcome here.
Have a wonderful day! 😁
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you...
@mytwistedsoul- I found myself avoiding this thread because of a certain member's repies. THankfully you were able to stop the nonsense- all of us are grateful. Can't explain why this matters so much- but i does to me. We come here to sort out lives- support each other. Hope today finds you in a better place- if not- sending you warmest thoughts and wishes.
@barncat Hey it's nice to see you. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for your post about this. I can't help but cringe when I read some of the exchanges we've had with him. I could have them deleted but I like to have the reminders that there is a part of me that won't tolerate BS. I allways worry that people will see me as someone who just starts yelling at people. I forget sometimes that alot of other people were aware of this person too. A few of us here have dealt with him for over a year and - well - he is cruel and a bully. I am sorry about the swearing though - some things need sentence enhancers lol
No explanation needed :) I agree completely - we are all here for support and understanding and while we all have bad days - its not right to take it out on others who are here for support too
Thank you for the warm wishes and thoughts :) sending some back to you - I hope you're doing ok
@mytwistedsoul- you have no idea how much time I spend pondering a lot of those posts!!! Fortunately I am retired and had more dispensible time than most. I just found it unfathomable how some people prey on others. Hope to be more involved again- I really missed a lot of you. Often 7 cups support was more helpful than my therapist- who I quit again- so am struggling as usual to stay ahead of problems day by day. Take care.