Evolution of Values: Embracing Change
Values are fundamental beliefs and principles that guide our attitudes, behaviors, and decision-making. They play a crucial role in shaping our identities and influencing the way we interact with the world. It's fascinating how these values can transform throughout our lives due to a variety of factors.
Life experiences often serve as catalysts for changes in our values. These experiences can be both positive and negative. For instance, personal achievements, such as landing a dream job or achieving a long-term goal, can lead to a greater emphasis on values like ambition or perseverance. On the other hand, facing adversity, loss, or hardship can prompt a reevaluation of values, placing greater importance on qualities like resilience, empathy, or compassion.
Cultural exposure and diversity also contribute to the evolution of our values. Interacting with people from different backgrounds and belief systems can broaden our perspectives and lead to a deeper appreciation for values like tolerance, inclusivity, and cultural sensitivity.
Moreover, as we progress through various life stages, such as adolescence, adulthood, or parenthood, our priorities and values often shift to align with our evolving responsibilities and personal growth.
Think of a value that you have now that you did not used to have, or one that has become more important to you. What life experiences led to this value changing? How does this change affect you now?
Please share your thoughts and experiences on how your values have evolved.
Reflecting on the evolution of our values can help us embrace change while cultivating the Being (Relationship to Self) Dimension of the Inner Developmental Goals.
@SoulfullyAButterfly
You always have such thought-provoking posts, Butterfly. Thanks for sharing this one. Hoefully what I say will make sense. It's a little hard to fully put into words....
I think a value I have now that "younger me" lacked was empathy. I have always tried to be a sincere person, but life brings on a lot of experience that shapes us. I used to be unable to connect emotionally with people because I really didn't spend much time trying to understand how other people processed their emotions or experiences. I don't always say the right things when I respond to the pain of others. I'll be learning lessons until I draw my final breath. But I do hope that when I connect with others, they don't feel judged or pitied. If I unintentionally say something and discover it had negative impact, accountability is necessary, to acknowledge the other person's reaction right away. Being defensive is rarely productive, and I hope that empathy is the stronger truth felt. It's important that I am genuine as I build connections with the humans I care about. A recent lesson I have learned as that words mean more to some than others. And the emotional impact as we write words can be interpreted very differently by those who read them. We must be mindful of intent, and that takes follow-up. We can't simply say something and assume the other person will receive the message as intended. It requires empathy to work through those moments. Luckily I am blessed to interact with some wonderful humans who help me understand more about myself and are gentle and tolerant as I continue to grow in empathy.
@MidwesternCalmSeeker Hi there! Thank you so much for the appreciation and for sharing your thoughts, especially when it took some vulnerability. Reading through your experiences reminded me of this spectrum:
You are a great active listener who seems to value empathy and I really appreciate you recognizing how it takes time and experience in growing some of these skills. You highlight the importance of communication and understanding very well too. I notice a compassionate goal in your experiences and work, and I fully support your growth and development in all these key areas. We start with acknowledgment of values, and with engagement, we can definitely continue to nurture them. 💖
@MidwesternCalmSeeker
it doesn’t surprise me that someone lacked empathy in their younger days and it developed over time as they got older. I also lacked empathy when I was younger. It amazes me that some teens actually have enough empathy to be listeners! I certainly didn’t have enough empathy at their age!
Thank you so much soul for this wonderful post - it’s well/put together . I value I’ve grown to accept is it’s ok to be assertive through loss and it’s not selfish to ask for what you want when you feel low as I was taught.
@GoldenRuleJG and @hope
oh what a great thought. I never thought of asking for what I need as a value. But it certainly is!
Thank you Krist - it’s tough sometimes things make you not not to do it , context etc, feeling watched 💛
Ooo, it's great that you've come to accept a value that being assertive is okay, even during tough times when you're feeling down. I want you to remember that it's not selfish to ask for what you want, even if you were taught otherwise. Recognizing the power of speaking up for yourself and expressing your needs is a big step toward taking care of yourself and growing as a person. Being assertive can improve your communication, boost your self-esteem, and help you set healthy boundaries. It's inspiring to see your journey of becoming assertive and valuing yourself. Keep up the good work! 😊💚
~ Xaverie ♡
Thanks for the thoughtful message, Xaverie
Stay blessed 🙏💛
@GoldenRuleJG
You're always welcome, Golden! I appreciate your gratitude. Thank you, and have a blessed day! 💜💜
@SoulfullyAButterfly
A top value I used to have that I've seemed to have replaced with another is honestly.
I used to be honest about pretty much anything. I was pretty unfiltered, in the way children and youth are. It was important to me.
As I got older I found humour took a top spot beside love and kindness. If people ask outright, I may be honest, but I choose to mind my own business, if that makes sense.
@communicativePond1728 and @ hope
humor is always a good thing! I love humor!
@SoulfullyAButterfly While I have always believed in monogamy, when I was single I had this mindset... A dating/relationship and marriage are 2 very different things. If the parties are not married then it does not require commitment and people can "see" whoever else they like. You can up and leave at any given time. No ifs, ands, or buts. Marriage, on the other hand, is forever. While I believe in the values of truly committing yourself to your partner and being loyal and faithful, I now believe that not everyone is meant to be married nor do they have to be married to share and show their love for one another. So even in a committed relationship without being married, I believe that being monogamous is important. No more of the "I am a free agent mindset."
Wonderful post. These values to be formed and reformed again require some good incidents apparently. Some volcanoes and tsunamis later, prioritising myself suddenly started to feel a bit normal. Boundaries are my tools: saying no to anything gives me so much pleasure and relief finally. Well, I am just flirting with the idea now, will need lots of practice to master any well sounded "no". That's something though. I am just wondering why have I even bothered to behave any different in the past? The answer is usual: safety related control issues and people pleasing attempts due to some childhood traumas. That being said, perfectionism is next thing to work on. Let's see what happens. Happy metamorphosis everyone 🖖
Aww, I absolutely love your post! 💜💙 It truly speaks volumes about the power of life's ups and downs in shaping our values. It's fascinating how moments of challenge and self-discovery can help us realize the importance of prioritizing ourselves. I relate to your journey of setting boundaries and learning to say no, even though it takes practice to master that art. It's a liberating feeling when we start to find relief in honoring our own needs.
I just want to let you know that reflecting on why you behaved differently in the past can often lead you to the familiar idea of control issues and people-pleasing tendencies, which can be deeply rooted in childhood traumas. I know just how much strength and self-awareness it takes to confront these underlying issues and overcome them. You're so strong! 💪🏻🔥✨
And oh, perfectionism! It's a constant struggle for many of us. To let go of your need for perfectionism and embrace your beautifully imperfect self is an arduous self, but at the same time, it's indeed a worthwhile endeavor. I believe in your ability to heal and rid yourself of negative habits, so keep going! 💗
Please keep taking care of yourself, celebrating your progress, and embracing the journey ahead. You are on a unique path of metamorphosis, so don't give up!
~ Xaverie ♡
@crypticwhisperss1
Thank you Xaverie. Great to have you here. Hope you are taking good care of yourself and enjoying your time. Big smiles, good friends, calm and happy little breaks, birds songs in the morning, and what more. Who said it has to be miserable all the time?
Take good care, so grateful for your nice comment, it did made me smile.
Happy spinning around the sun
@WavesandSea
Nice post. I love it.
@SoulfullyAButterfly and @hope
The biggest value that I have now that I didn’t have in the past is spirituality. Growing up it was just something I HAD to do. I HAD to go to church. Now my relationship with a higher power is a relationship and I have it because I want it.
@Kristynsmama I absolutely love that for you! It seems you may have been (for lack of a better word) forced to do those things when you were younger. I believe having a relationship with the most high is so important in life. I would like to ask though-- do you think your past of what you "had" to do contributed to or influenced you and your decision to now? I am just curious, so hope you don't mind me asking. Either way, I love that you have established a relationship and make the choice to go stronger and close in your spirituality. <3
@Kristynsmama
It is really which I can also relate. Now iam also connected with spirituality and it feel really Nice to be connected with supreme powers.
@SoulfullyAButterfly
The demanding nature of academic responsibilities and the uncertainties of the path ahead have underscored the importance of resilience in my daily life. It's not just about facing challenges but embracing them as opportunities for personal growth. Overcoming obstacles and persisting in the pursuit of my goals has become a core aspect of my value system.
@SoulfullyAButterfly What a great post! Thanks a lot for sharing❤️
@SoulfullyAButterfly
Earlier in life, my focus was often directed towards external achievements and goals. The idea of mindfulness, being fully present in the moment, was not a priority. However, a series of life experiences, particularly moments of stress and burnout, prompted a reevaluation of my values.
The catalyst for this change was a period of intense work-related pressure and personal challenges. I found myself constantly chasing future goals, neglecting the importance of the present moment. The toll on my mental and emotional well-being became evident, leading to a realization — the pursuit of external success should not come at the expense of internal harmony.
This realization marked a turning point, prompting me to explore mindfulness practices. Engaging in activities like meditation, deep breathing, and conscious awareness became integral to my daily routine. The shift in value from external achievement to internal well-being has brought about a profound positive change.
Now, the value of mindfulness shapes my approach to life. It influences the way I navigate challenges, engage with others, and prioritize self-care. Instead of being solely focused on future outcomes, there's a conscious effort to savor the present, finding joy and fulfillment in the journey itself.
This change in values has not only enhanced my mental and emotional resilience but has also positively influenced my relationships, work, and overall life satisfaction. The evolution towards valuing mindfulness serves as a constant reminder to appreciate the beauty of each moment and foster a sense of inner peace amid life's complexities.
@SoulfullyAButterfly
Greetings, Butterfly. I hope that you're doing well. I completely agree that values are deeply held beliefs and principles that shape our attitudes, behaviors, and choices. They play a major role in shaping our identities and influencing the way that we interact with the world.
Think of a value that you have now that you did not used to have, or one that has become more important to you. What life experiences led to this value changing? How does this change affect you now?
Throughout my own journey, I remember feeling intense pressure to conform to certain expectations and fit into a particular mold that was perceived as being academically successful. There was a time when I placed a great deal of importance on external validation and meeting the standards set by my teachers. I felt compelled to present myself in a way that would gain their approval and recognition. As a result, I often found myself hiding certain aspects of my true personality, suppressing my unique interests and perspectives, all in an effort to meet those expectations.
However, over time, I began to realize that this approach was not sustainable nor fulfilling. It led me to question the authenticity of the validation that I sought and the impact it had on my overall well-being.
This realization served as a precipitant for a significant shift in my values. I started placing greater importance on authenticity, embracing my true self, and pursuing my passions with genuine enthusiasm. I recognized that my true worth and fulfillment should not solely depend on external validation, but rather on honoring my own values, interests, and aspirations.
This change in values has had a profound impact on my life. I now prioritize personal growth, self-expression, and pursuing endeavors that align with my true passions. I was able to discover a greater sense of fulfillment, inner peace, and a stronger connection to my own identity, and it's all because I embraced my true personality.
Conclusion 🌹✨
While the journey of shedding the mask and seeking validation from within is ongoing, I have learned to appreciate the importance of being true to myself. I have found that when I honor my values and embrace my true personality, I am better able to engage with the world in a meaningful and authentic way.
Thank you! 💗🌸
~ Xaverie ♡
