Healthy living helps me climb my beanstalk
I must admit, one of the things I’ve struggled most with in life is stuckness.
By stuckness, I am referring to a complete and total non functioning in life. Unable to work towards my goals, knowing what to do to get better, but just, for some reason, not being able to do it. I was stuck at the bottom of my beanstalk.
So how did I take my first tender step, trying to move up? The step wasn’t to hoist myself to the next leaf on my stalk, no, it was much smaller than that.
It was more of a, standing up on the leaf I was already on. And then taking a step towards the stalk, wrapping my arms around it to steady myself. And finally, I could swing my leg to the next leaf and prop myself on another level.
What is this a metaphor for? Each tiny, little movement I make, is a small habit of healthy living. Creating healthy sleep patterns through sleep hygiene, fueling my body with nutritious meals to sustain my energy, taking a short walk outside & breathing in fresh air, doing a stream of consciousness journal entry. It’s revolutionary how much of an impact these “small” habits can make.
I tell my story as an offering of encouragement. It didn’t happen overnight- it took time. Each of these self care behaviors created a new way of living which supports my physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health.
It feels pretty nice to be up in the air, birds eye view from my beanstalk.
QUESTIONS:
What kinds of healthy living habits help you to stand up on your leaf?
How is the view from your present beanstalk stalk leaf?
Or, alternatively, if you’re at the bottom of your beanstalk, what one healthy habit would you like to try today?
@Kait
What a great, informative & inspiring post! Healthy living is definitely about living your best life in every way that you can. And creating & achieving goals by taking small steps day by day & little by little can over time add up to huge results in the end…. Results that can definitely help maintain balance & wellness in our overall wellbeing physically, mentally, emotionally, & spiritually! As they all go hand in hand with one another.
Thank you for sharing this with our community.
@Kait
if the hypothetical bean stork as you use as a metaphor, is climbed as progress. That means you climbing towards something higher, that’s good but what is at the end of your bean stork a giant or a goose that lays that lays gold eggs?
let’s remove all this, you preserver because you must or strive because you have a goal you wish to achieve.
When stuck with no goal, aim and being stuck is simply nothing more than existing as it’s expected for you to do so. How does one change that?
Can you help please? Sorry to ask just seemed a appropriate place or opportunity.
@LabeledBPD there isn’t any quick fix it when it comes making adjustments that respect your limitations and help you feel like you have purpose and are able to strive. This all is hard work and has to be tackled internally. In what you have shared within your questions it seems to me that you are searching for something concrete. I am curious if you have been able to identify what helps build your confidence and what motivates you? Achievement and success for everyone needs to be broken down in smaller steps, it is these small successes that build on top of each other and creates true change. I imagine feeling stuck leaves you feeling frustrated and hopeless. Everyone path is unique and is perceived differently. Only you can really define what success is for yourself. Thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone and questioning a purposed idea, then sharing your needs. I look forward to you sharing your thoughts on what I have shared. Bye for now.
@coolvibes
thank you cool vibes. That’s a lot to digest. Immediately however achievements and success is all I can kinda focus on because I have none anymore. I used to , done rather well. When something happened however and wealth, or success was rendered meaningless to what i wanted most, it taught me the cold hard truth that goals directed towards money achievements were misdirected. I was wrong half my life so could be again but it’s what money can’t buy that’s most valuable. So where does that leave goals? Gratitude, meaningful attachments and caring while also at the same time supporting others?
what changed such a pivotal change in beliefs as to life goals and direction, what’s important. It has not been easy putting it lightly. It’s something that I can’t escape either but have to (accept) I’m powerless in .. I’ don’t really wanna touch on it rn.
Achievement and success, I’ve found the new ones Ive mentioned and do my best to live and uphold them but it doesn’t provide hope. It’s more like I’ve just a better understanding while existing. Do what’s expected and just go through the motions. I don’t know if this makes sense without to much context. Achievements and success… it’s hard when have done well to realise you were wrong then try formulate new ones all while anything but happy
@LabeledBPD Thank you for responding. Adjusting to new beliefs and realities can be a challenge. It takes time to come to terms with choices sometimes. I can tell you I had to widen my perceptions regarding my ambitions in life, it was very hard for me, because at first it felt like a huge loss. I came to a similar understanding, but also replaced it with a higher purpose in a way. One that supported my sense of integrity and morality. It hard to stop the conditions of society and step out of the box that defines your value through career success, but our roles in life are so much deeper than that. It okay to feel the loss from having to let go of personal ambitions. Do you believe where one door shuts another one opens?
@coolvibes everyone has their own story of success. You are also entitled a sense of pride with any past achievements and your ability to broaden your understanding of what really holds value in the long run. Your contributions to others and your community hold just as much meaning as any career opportunity, perhaps they have more depth and impact. Does it make sense to you that all of the introspection you have done shows your strengths?
@coolvibes
if a new one didn’t open then we’d be perpetually knocking at a closed door with nowhere to go. Does what that door that opens lead to somewhere you find…. Looking for words… better than the last.
Becoming wiser (my belief) is no exchange. Knowing what I know now and being where I am I’d have bricked up that door and wallpapered over a fresh skim of plaster.
I overthink.. simple answer yes. For better or worse
@LabeledBPD
Hi Labeled! Thank you for your insights & thoughtful questions 🦋. Let me ponder this 🤔 and get back to you! :)
Okay, I'm back with a few thoughts! TY for your patience with my delayed reply 🙏
So, to start, I want to mention a kind of nuance to my post. While this little graphic resonated with me & where I currently am on my journey of recovering & health, it would not have always resonated. There have been plenty of times where an image such as this would have sat better with me.
The point to my nuance being: this beanstalk metaphor may not resonate or be helpful for everyone, and that is OK. I can understand how this idea of a vertical ladder so to speak might not be helpful or might make someone who feels like they're at the bottom of the ladder feel a little overwhelmed. I'm not directing this comment at you specifically, Labeled, I just though this is a good PSA to make in general :)
Now, onto your comment about- climbing with the intention to reach the golden goose, or perhaps, as you commented, climbing with the intention to reach a goal itself. I certainly agree with this in some ways. That being said, in my experience, when I climb my latter with the sole intention to reach some goal, I always find that the goal isn't all that sweet and- there's always another goal to be achieved.
So, for me personally, I find it more helpful to climb the ladder for the sake of climbing in itself. By this I mean, the nature of life, for me, is to be present, so, climbing the ladder (or, in our case, beanstalk) is another way of saying "being present day by day." I hope I am making sense.
Basically, I think that I find more joy & peace day to day when I am less wrapped up in the goal (or, golden goose), and more wrapped up in the joy of climbing. Now, this isn't to disparage goal setting, because I am a big believer of goals, I just think (for me at least), putting too much importance on the goal distracts from the journey.
Now, onto your question: How do we change our perspective or set goals when we are feeling stuck? How do we get from the bottom of our "beanstalk" to the first leaf? Well, I think for one, lessening the pressure to set the perfect goal or attain a goal in the perfect way helps.
Second, and I am just speaking from personal experience here (I am by no means a professional), but when I'm feeling stuck, down, depressed, anxious, etc, I'm not really in the place to actively think about goal setting or set goals like "get a job" or "save a thousand dollars" or "publish a book."
So, when I am down or stuck, my mindset shifts a little. Instead of thinking about my hopes & dreams, I might ask myself, how do I foster health? What would make me feel more healthy? I have been through this rodeo before, I kind of already know these answers for myself (spend less time on my phone, spend less time in bed, establish a healthy sleep/eating routine, spend time moving my body, spend time in nature, express creativity, a few examples).
What this boils down to, imo, is mindfulness. It takes mindfulness to notice when things are going "downhill," to notice maladaptive (harmful or painful) patterns, and a lot of self awareness to know what will help you be the most healthy you.
OK, so mindfulness may help, focusing more on health and habits rather than short or long term goals may help, but what if I'm at ground zero and don't know what helps me? I have two thoughts on that.
1- Start with the basics (sleep, hygiene, nutrition & exercise as these are the pillars to any healthy life) and
2- be ready for a lot of trial & error, but perhaps start with the things that bring you joy.
Now, hear me out, I know how hard it is to focus on these things when you don't feel like getting out of bed, taking a shower, or even eating a piece of toast. I get it. 100%.
However, at the end of the day, we are the only ones responsible for our lives (as adults). This is just a simple fact. I don't say this to make you think you have to do this alone (because we can't do everything alone) or to make life feel daunting (feeling a sense of responsibility over our lives can sometimes actually feel really good or freeing).
I just want to drive home that at the end of the day, you CAN do things even if they feel hard, or even impossible. I know this because I've been there, and I did it. And if I can do it, you can do it too.
And just one last final thought/tip would be- start small, don't overwhelm yourself too much, baby steps. This has been so instrumental to help me build sustainable healthy habits- even when I'm feeling stuck, anxious, or depressed. Break you goals down into 1 or 2 steps to make it more digestible & easier to incorporate into your routine, and aim for slow progress over immediate progress.
Example, my goal might be to go to sleep by 10 pm, but if I'm currently going to sleep at 2 am, it may not be realistic to go for such a drastic change. Maybe instead I aim tonight, to go to bed at 1:45 am. And then tomorrow, 1:30 or 1:20 am. etc. This technique can be applied to many different types of goals.
I might add another 1 or two steps to help support my goal of going to sleep earlier, such as taking a hot shower before bed, having a cup of herbal tea before bed, or turning off electronics 1 hour before bed & spending that time quietly (reading, coloring, journaling, etc).
Anyways, this was a very long-winded response Labeled, and not all of this was directed at you personally, some of this was moreso just my general thoughts from your response/question, so certainly take what resonates and leave the rest :) and let me know what you think or if you have any other questions or insights! I hope I even answered your question somewhere in my tangent 😅
@Kait really enjoyed reading your response.
@Kait
thank you for sharing this, how informative and got me thinking a good bit.