Mod-threatening behavior and how to approach it.
How to deal with mod-threatening behavior!
Being a Moderator is very rewarding: we get to remove trolls,keep the chatrooms safe, positive and thriving, and focus on either light chit chat, or dedicated support! A lot of people look up to us in the community! However, in some rare cases, we?re hit with some behavior that is threatening, and hard to deal with.
What is threatening behavior?
In this case, threatening behavior is intimidation or intentional behaviour that causes another person (in this case, a mod/listener) to fear some variation of harm in the chatrooms, through PM?s or otherwise.
How does this relate to our role as Listeners and Moderators on 7cups?
?Users threatening to Fake Report/Troll Report Listener/Mod accounts.
?Guests/members sending threatening PMs to Group Moderators.
?Insulting/targeting Group Mods for simply being a Group Moderator.
Problem 1: Users threatening to Fake Report/Troll Report Listener/Mod accounts.
Recently, there has been a sudden influx in members filing and encouraging false reports towards Group Moderators. This is a problem because It can make mods feel fearful, threatened and unsure on how to react or how to deal with a given situation. Here?s a typical example:
Member/Guest: ?Hey Guys! I know how to ban Mods and make the chatrooms Mod-Free! Just head over to the Group Mod Log And file a report, such as ?>Moderator< has been acting sexually towards members? create a new account, and repeat until they are banned.?
In cases such as this we can do the following:
✓ - Take a screenshot of the comment being made, save it to your computer/Phone. A screenshot is done by pressing ?Print Screen? (prt sc) and pasting the image into Paint. If you have a Mac, then simultaneously press Apple + Shift + 4.
✓ - Delete the message by clicking the ?X? in the top right corner of the message.
✓ - Message or email Heather (heather@7cups.com or community@7cups.com) attaching the image you just made, as well as using the Group Mod Logto record the event.You can also message the group mod leaders Sarah, Jake or Apple74.
✓ - Give them a written warning, politely asking them not to encourage that type of behavior (reword this slightly based on your situation)
✓ - Using the Mod Warning System if they continue to engage in this threatening behavior, and leave a warning for the relative rule broken, I.E Spamming/Unsupportive (depends on the situation)
✓ - If the user comes back, you can instantly mute the individual without warnings using rule 14 ?Circumventing previous mute?, and take another screenshot if you?d like.
✓ - If you?re feeling stressed out, or triggered by the event, feel free to contact Peer Support and use this as an opportunity to practice some self-care!
Things not to do:
✖ - Lose your cool. The second you do this, you?ll get in more trouble than if you approach the situation calmly.
✖ - Slander the member after you have muted them, or say negative things about them to other members.
✖ - Being afraid of participating in the room, go quiet, or be afraid of trolls.
Problem 2: Guests/members sending abusive PM?s to Group Moderators.
Sometimes, when you?ve muted a disruptive individual, they might send you a private message asking why they have been muted. These messages can sometimes be threatening in nature, and can make moderators feel unsafe if the message is abusive.
Member: ?No one can see my messages. What did I do??
Moderator: ?I muted you because >reason< . If it?s your first mute, it should be lifted in 24 hours.?
Member: ?This is why Mods are awful, I hate you; go die.?
Cases such as these can prove extremely difficult to deal with, there are ways we can deal with this though!
We can deal with this by doing the applying astrategy similar to the one below! :
✓ - Remain professional -- don?t reciprocate the hate, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind!
✓ - Let the member/guest know that their mute will be lifted, unless this is their 3rd mute, in which case politely remind them that this may be a good opportunity to read through the rules to avoid a similar incident in the future.
✓ - Ban the connection if the Member/Guest continues to inappropriately message you. >When to ban a member<
✓ - Feel free to contact anyone Peer Support team if you?re feeling stressed out or triggered by what the member has said :)
Things you shouldn?t do:
✖ - Respond negatively to a guest that?s been mean to you.
✖ - Ban them without just cause.
✖ - Gloat about them being muted.
Problem 3: Insulting/targeting Group Mods for simply being a Group Moderator:
Sometimes members can have negative views of moderators simply because they?re there to enforce the rules, or have had a negative experience with one in the past. This can make for a hostile environment, and create a lot of tension in the room. For example...
Moderator: ?Hey everyone! How are you all doing today??
Member 1: ?Oh great, another Mod, go away no one wants you here.?
Member 2: ?Please don?t argue :/?
Situations such as the one mentioned above can prove very hard to deal with, and can make us feel very unwelcome in the rooms we go into as a Moderator, and can leave us feeling pretty unappreciated. One good way to approach this type of situation is as follows:
✓- Say: ?Hey >Member 1<, I?m sorry you feel that way, I?m just here to keep the room safe and troll free, I hope you?re alright though, and that we can get along :)?
✓- Remind the member to be respectful to everyone in the room, via written reminder if the behavior continues past this point.
✓- Continue to engage in the chatroom as you would normally, and don?t focus on the potential conflict; ask others how they?re doing and feeling, and engage with them in a positive manner.
✓- If they continue to try to provoke a reaction, using the Warning System, you can leave a warning for engaging in conflict, or being unsupportive. Due to these warnings being silent, the rest of the room won?t see the tension or conflict as if we continued to publicly address the issue.
✓- We can ask to PM the individual if they?re comfortable, and put into place?conflict resolution? skills to sort the issue out!
✓- If the behavior continues, send another warning until the behavior either stops, or the individual has been muted.
Don?t:
✖ - Give them a warning instantly - This will only add to the potential conflict and raise tension.
✖ - Engage in conflict with the member/guest
✖ - Be afraid of participating in the room, or engaging with that member further!
We must remember that some people have a hard time expressing their emotions, and sometimes take it out on authority figures, such as Group Mods! don?t worry about it, just be you! You?ve been chosen as a group mod because we believe you?re capable of great things as a group moderator!
Thanks for reading this over and happy modding!
-Dan117
Also: Huge big ol? credit to the wonderful @Cadence for helping me on this post, she really brought it together and flushed out some ideas! (as well as a little formatting edit for me)
@autumnleigh @hopefultree78 @soulsurfer @kdog334 @MissZ
@jake @heather @zedda @sarah @laura @mobbsy @OrunLeon @Chrissy @Philbear @LilyListens @TheDeaningofLife @DHawks @Lynnie @PoeticGuy @Suzanne
@Dan117 this helped me get an inner view to a moderators world and as someday I hope to be one, Thank you! Very informative post. Explains things clearly. Dan is the Man!
@Cadence, everything awesome has a contribution from you in it, a thank you to you aswell. c:
@DHawks, you really make me smile c: In all honesty this post was a great amount of fun to work on.
Excellent post @Dan117 and @Cadence, very commendable for you to write it, I wholeheartedly agree with you! Hopefully this will be very encouraging for those Moderators who do sometimes feel in this situation.
@Dan117 thank you so much for posting this! Personally, I've never dealt with situations of this kind, but I saw this issue among the teen community. The suggestions you provided are really useful, I'm glad we have the new warning system and the report form, and our Mod Leaders are considerate in reviewing these cases. Cheers!
@Dan117 - Really great post! Well said :)
If you receive abusive messages via PM, please do use the block or ban button available to you. Ban is the option if the connection is harassing or threatening - please use this with care.
It is also absolutely okay not to respond to PMs while moderating. If you receive an angry PMit may be wise not to respond to ensure you don't receive negative ratings on your listener account.
One technique to use when diffusing these situations is to ask point blank if you personally are the problem. This works best for #1 and #3.
When people create preconceived notions about someone or something (Mods in this case), By making them realize that they're talking to a fellow human being - someone with feelings and emotions - it makes them less likely to continue their vehement streak. Furthermore, it creates a sense of inclusivity within the chatroom so that even if the one particular person isn't kind towards the Mod, everyone else becomes more uncomfortable with the ganging up. It's no longer about sticking it to the Man but about mistreating a fellow person.
Questions like "Do you believe that I am here with a malicious intent to persecute?" (Well, no...).
"Do you feel that if you are nervous about potentially breaking chatroom rules, you can PM me and ask if something is appropriate? Do you think I want to help everyone remain wthin chatroom rules?"
"One of the chatroom rules is to show compassion and respect to everyone in here. Do you believe that this compassion and respect applies to me as well?" (If not, "Why? Do you feel that I am inferior to you in any way?")
Once the dehumanization ceases, it's often a lot easier to converse. Whether it's a troll or an irate m/g, no one is comfortable being the bad guy, especially when you're so saccharine about being nice to them. ;)
1. very well written, thanks, this has been on my mind for a while. Kudos, dan and cadence.
2. Users threatening to Fake Report/Troll Report Listener/Mod accounts - I screenshot and mute them for 'circumventing mute' because obviously its not their first time at attacking mods. Anyway you just know they will mess around in rooms, but I havent seen them in a while.
3. the point by heather regarding not replying to PMs during moderating is awesome. I however do reply to my regular members.
4. Never ever warn a hurtful member, they often have a genuine reason for it, regardless of whether they are right or not, best to be professional.
5. lastly: dont be afraid of anything! be fearless. Remember, if you ever need help you can ask another mod to back you up! I tend to mod with another mod buddy. That is just how I roll.
Thank you so much for posting this! :) It's very informative and explains things so that they are easily understood!
Very useful post Dan, bookmarked! Sad that this is happening.
Furtherupdate!:
If anyone is interested in reading more into this behavior in the Group Mod community, I urge you to read this really well writtenawesome post >> Here << by @15Sydney
It talks a little more about this issue, and covers steps on what may be useful for you after you've encountered a tough situation!
Thanks for sharing the post with others!! I hope it helps everyone who reads it!
@Dan117
This is a great post! The only thing I would like to say in regard to your opening paragraph is: it isnot a rare case. Moderators are harassed quite often, unfortunately. So it is my hope that moderators can look to this post at those times!
