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Grieving before the death happens

someone really close to me is really sick. He has a chronic kidney disease and pancreatitis. He’s also over 80 years old. He supported me through most of my life and was always there for me. I spent so much time with him and he means the world to me. I don’t know if he’ll die in days, months or years. It’s all possible. The fear of losing him is haunting me. He’s a huge part of my life and also of my identity. I can’t imagine a life without him and love him with my entire being. It’s hard watching him getting weaker with the time and knowing that I can’t change anything. No matter what I do I can’t Safe him. It’s hard accepting this. I don’t know who I am without him.

2
Tulipsmile August 2nd

@independentOcean9796

I am really sorry to hear that

I know how hard is that

I was in your same situation before and I didn't know what you do. All I know that we can be near them and support them .don't waste any time without making sweet memories. Because when you will be with them they will be happy that you are with them ,support them,trying to make them forget the pain or forget they are sick. 

You have the right to feel fear of losing them because they are important to you and they take a big part of your life .but you know that's live and sometimes there are things we can't change . But live continue and I am pretty sure that he will tell you the same thing about that , he will want to see happy and want you to be brave to face all life struggles ,and the happy moments of life .

I know how hard is that and all that words may not help all I can do for you is pray for you two .🙏


mytwistedsoul August 6th

@independentOcean9796 I went through this last year. Anticipatory grief

Spend time with him. Tell him all the things you want him to know. How much you love him. How much he means to you. Enjoy each moment.

Picture! Take pictures of the two of you together. I regret that myself. Not getting pictures.

Take him favorite treats (as long as he can have them) if he has favorite movies watch them together. If you have anything you want to know about him - maybe what it was like when he was a kid or if he had any advice to share or what's his most special memory - ask him about it. Have him share his favorite songs.  These are little pieces of him that will help you feel close to him 

I'm so sorry you're going through this