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Unhelpful

Optimisticempath April 28th

What's the most unhelpful thing someone has said to you during your time of grief? 

I think sometimes even if people mean well... they just use the weirdest phrasing ever and make it worse :(

maybe it can help us to know what to avoid to say and what to say to someone who's grieving that may help more?

also if you're grieving... what would you like to hear more?

💕💕💕💕

8
toughTiger6481 April 28th

@Optimisticempath

grief is different for all ... what someone finds  comforting ....  another may not find helpful. 

the worst and best thing can be together for example when a close person to me passed ... someone who knew them in a different setting told me stories of things this person did for them  great helpful things ... good right? 

except i learned of a version  of them i did not know .. either because they did not share with me or i did not pay attention to the many facets of this person ... i missed out....which is bad. 

mytwistedsoul April 29th

@Optimisticempath  I think the worst thing I've heard so far is - You barely knew him and what you did know wasn't good so I don't understand why you're upset.    It just confused me more when it comes to my emotions 😕 because I was already conflicted about everything I was feeling

What's the worst thing you've heard Opti? If you'd like to share of course but there's no pressure ❤️

Heather225 April 29th

@Optimisticempath

what i would have liked to hear more are questions about the person i lost. things like, "tell me about her. what was she like? what memories do you cherish most?" etc. questions that showed sincere interest and gave me space to talk and reminisce.

Someone told me I'm better off without her in my life.

They were wrong

1 reply
Optimisticempath OP May 4th

@Rubymaria2753 yeah people only have a way of outside perspective and look at things from their view ... but only the one experiencing and feeling knows how it really is :( offers hugs to you <3

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Kristynsmama May 2nd

@Optimisticempath

Back when I lost Kristyn, people meant well.  They tried to say the right thing.  But everything was hurtful because I was not in a good place.  The most helpful things that people said thought tended to be around self care.

Kristy

Kristynsmama May 4th

@Optimisticempath

the most unhelpful thing someone ever said to me was, “Oh well, you can always have another baby.”  It completed negated the life of my daughter that was way too short.  And they didn’t know my circumstances or that I can never have another child due to medical issues.  I know that person meant well, but their comment was definitely not helpful.