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Defining Grief: Understanding Loss and Sorrow
by ASilentObserver
Last post
 August 17th
...See more Hello all, I hope you are all being easy on yourself.  This post is part of 2 Week's Group Support Event on Grief Awareness [https://www.7cups.com/forum/groupmod/GroupSupportCommunityEvents_2295/Joinusfor2WeeksofGriefAwarenessEvent_334437/].   Grief is a complex and personal experience that affects everyone differently. So, the forum thread will be the space to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences about grief. Let's explore what grief means to you, and how we can better understand and support one another during loss. What is grief?  Grief is a natural response to loss. It can be experienced in many different ways and at varying intensities.  I am sharing a few questions for this week's forum discussion on grief. Please feel free to share your thoughts on any or a few questions as per your comfort. Please include the question that you responding to so we can have a focused discussion.  Questions for discussion:  * Can you describe a time when you experienced grief? What did it feel like? * How does grief differ from sadness? * Are there different types of grief? If so, can you explain them? * How does culture or religion influence our understanding of grief? * What misconceptions about grief have you encountered? * How can we create a more open and supportive environment for those experiencing grief? Tagging a few friends for the discussion:  @marinsen, @summerkay2024, @Catunion, @jonghyunnie, @daydreammemories, @richvision, @mytwistedsoul, @communicativepond1728,  @reallyoverallofit, @tinywhisper11, @jaeteuk, @thoughtlight
Shared Experiences!♡
by Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Last post
 July 23rd
...See more Hey hey, everyone coming across this post. I hope you're doing well. 💛 Grief and loss, is something I feel most of us have experienced in different forms, with varied intensity of emotions, thoughts and emotional reactions to it. As earth-shatteringly difficult it is to experience loss of some kind and do not even get me started on loss of a love one hehe (oh but I definitely will come here too💛), or cope with it, I feel something that remotely, I say remotely because I'm not much of the opinion that anything ever truly helps or fills the void in your life and the hole in your heart! (Much love to you if you feel the same and Kudos to you if you found something that helped you in any way💛). Again, I feel something that *remotely* helps is that we aren't alone in our experiences! It's not like "seeing someone else in pain makes you feel better about yours", more like "seeing someone feel what you do, say what you cannot and understand what you find incomprehensible somewhere, somehow, in whatever small quantity possible too, makes you feel *seen*, makes your pain feel seen, reminds you that what you experienced is 'worthy' of a reaction from you, also helps you understand your feelings better, because sometimes you're not even sure what to really call that 'sudden feeling of a big lump forming in your throat when you're sitting around people giggling and doing their thing' when everything feels 'okay' around you". (Apologies for getting carried away haha, I'm not proof-reading this one, and it's just something straight from my heart, hopefully to yours, typos included😅) Anyway, circling back again, what I find remotely helpful is the idea of shared experiences, of people connected in their grief! Which is why I love reflecting on how someone perceives loss and grief for them, hearing what they have to say about it too! Sometimes it's these shared experiences, heart felt words and raw emotions that remind me I'm not alone, and a lot of times, this is comforting to know! Going forward, I'd like to share some quotes I find comforting with the hope that anyone coming across them here can have a little "oh you see it too?" moment, knowing they aren't alone either and someone has had experienced something as they have and stood by to share it with the world also. The massive amount of courage it takes to talk about it, to relive all of it all over again, to be *brave* for comforting someone else! Most people may not even realise how inspiring they are! 💛 Please feel welcome to share any quotes you like that provide you comfort or reflect on any you see here also! 💛
Grief & Loss Automated Taglist!
by tommy
Last post
 July 20th
...See more Welcome to the Grief & Loss Taglist This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply below and someone will help you! Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me. ------------------------- Current taglist as of 9 September (updated by @tommy) @azuladragon34 @Char1984 @CordialBeing @GentleCalmness @HealingTalk @Jaeteuk @LeonardoMarino @mish3l @mytwistedsoul @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @tommy
Am I being unfair here?
by ihaveasoulmate
Last post
 10 hours ago
...See more About 6 years ago I bought a new house so that I could live with my girlfriend and her kids. I sold my old house and used all my own funds to put up about 60% down payment. Initially I made more money than her so I paid for pretty much everything. She also had trust issues so she wanted to save money in case I left her and I was fine with that. We got engaged but never married. 1.5 years ago she broke up with me and I didn't see it coming. We've continued to live together all this time. I was hoping we could try again but she never wanted to. I told her I can't keep doing this so we're going to stop living together. All the time I continued to pay the mortgage and utilities. She paid for most groceries and did all the cooking. We split most other chores evenly. She thinks I should give her 50% of the house value and I think I should get significantly more because I put continued to pay the mortgage. I was willing to give her half of the house appreciation since the value has gone up quite a bit since we bought. She is also going to keep the vehicle we bought together. In my mind that, plus the fact she could save money instead of putting it in the house offset the equity earned those years we were together. Am I being the jerk here? She's no longer talking to me.
Grandma is gone..
by Jaeteuk
Last post
 16 hours ago
...See more So.. My parents arrived in the afternoon in HK, Tuesday afternoon (HK time), and grandma passed the same night. I was at work today, when my mum messaged me at 5pm, which is their Wednesday morning in HK.. and told me grandma passed last night. My mind was overloaded with emotions and was shutting down. I don't have many childhood memories, but my time spent with Grandma is still very vivid. Both memories of when I was young and still lived in HK, and times when she came to Canada to visit us. I'm so glad I told my mum to return to HK earlier, as my parents have a cruise trip in mid-September, I told her to return now, so there are no regrets or in case grandma leaves when she's on the cruise trip.. that would've been even worse. The past weekend, we were informed Grandma returned to the hospital with low saturation levels, was given medication and seemed to be doing better. We all thought that Grandma will be okay, my Aunt in the States supposed to have a cruise trip in the beginning of August (and she had refused to to return to HK while Grandma is still healthy and told my mum, if she wants to go back then to go by herself, Aunt will not go along with her. Although Grandma had been in-and-out of the hospital since her heart attack, she was still healthy, she only had times where she was experiencing shortness-of-breath).. I wonder if my Aunt ended up needing to cancel her trip after receiving the news of Grandma's passing, and make an immediate flight back for the funeral.. I'm so glad my mum made it back in time to spend the last moments with her mother. Unlike when my Grandfather passed (Dad's dad).. My dad was a day late upon arrival in HK.. Grandfather had left the day before he arrived..  ~~~~~~~~~~~ At the beginning of my work shift today, I went to speak with my Manager. To give her a heads up that I'll need to take time off from work if Grandma really passes. I told her, on the last weekend of June, we were informed Grandma had a heart attack, and I went to work the following week, but it was really hard.. as I was on the verge of a breakdown as I worked.. so, I told my Manager, if Grandma passes, I'm going to need to take time off.. The beginning of my shift was around 1pm when I told her.. I messaged my Manager at 7pm, telling her I'll need to rest of the week off, I also told her I left work earlier (she asked me to touch base with her later on in the week to see how I'm doing).. I just kind of did the minimal work that is needed to be done, and kinda left everything else behind.. My mind had wondered off the moment I saw the message from my mum about Grandma's passing, and I was forgetting things (walking towards a way to grab an item, but forgot what it was I needed halfway through the walk).. I went to have my dinner earlier, and left at 7pm (so left work an hour earlier).. The nurses also leaves at 7pm, I saw them in the change room.. I guess I looked kind of out of it and for once, I was rushing to leave.. so, they asked me if everything was okay (because I don't usually ask if I could leave earlier).. so, I told them briefly that my Grandma passed away last night..  I'm saddened that I cannot take a flight back to HK to attend the funeral (I financially can't afford the plane tickets and the required accommodation expenses).. but, I'm thinking about taking the time to ask my mum if there is something we can do to help.. even if it's to transfer her some funds.. or whatnot.. That is, if my mum has the time to chat with me.. I hope I see Grandma in my dreams, so I have a chance to say my goodbyes to her. 😭 I'll miss you, Grandma~
My closest friend was convicted
by LostAzure411
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more Trigger warning: death, murder, racism, bullying It’s been a few years now. I have posted about this before, certainly in the trauma thread and probably here as well. I don’t want to make this the only thing in my life, but I don’t think anything has affected me more. I met him when I was an 8th grader, he was in 7th. Initially, I found him a bit annoying, like a puppy that won’t stop pulling at your pant leg while you’re trying to work. We took an advanced studies class together, and each had a project and budget to work on throughout the class. He would constantly ask me questions about what I was doing and why. What made me finally warm up to him was the fact that I realized he was probably the only person who genuinely cared about what I was doing, and so I gave him more of my attention, even editing his book for him. When we were each in high school, all my friends slowly found new cliques, moved away, or graduate before me. He was the only one who stayed by my side through it all. That was probably when I started to notice that people were constantly giving him a side eye, whispering behind his back, and on occasion throwing a slur his way. He was one of the few black kids in our town. It wasn’t made much better by the fact that his mom was an addict, only getting clean when his little sister was born. I know it made him feel like he was the rough draft for the kid she actually wanted. I shouldn’t have had to be responsible for him. I was just a kid then. Even so, I chose to be. I answered his questions when teachers wouldn’t call on him. I took him to physical therapy when his mom was high at home. I gave him what advise I could. Maybe that’s why, when he graduated, and when he told me he would be moving elsewhere with his girlfriend, I didn’t think anything was wrong. I was proud. I thought he had found the one, and he would be okay without me. A year or so later, he came back, I bought them dinner for his birthday, and chatted with them. He was in the bathroom at one point, and she told me about how much they love their new place, and her job as a kindergarten teacher. Two months later, I was sitting in my parents living room, and I saw the headline that he had been arrested for her murder. I did everything I could to deny it, until I saw his mugshot. I don’t know why, but that was when I knew. I’ve been through a lot since then, spiraling through emotions and ways to cope, but what I landed on is this. He did something horrible, and I will never forgive him. Even so, I can’t act like he was the only person at fault. Countless people came forward saying “they always knew he was a monster”. They always knew? They looked at a twelve year old boy, and hated him immediately? How could I act like the constant overt racism he dealt with isn’t to blame in part? How can I say that I truly believe he deserved to be ostracized? Even so, I am afraid. What If I am back to that initial denial again, trying to point the finger at anyone who isn’t me. I can’t say that there was nothing I could have done, or no way I could have known. It’s too unfair if he was unsavable. The world isn’t so cruel that it wont give people a chance. So, someone failed him. I can point to so many others who did, but I did too. I couldn’t save him. There wasn’t a way I could have saved him. I miss him so much.
There's no time limit to grief 😞
by babigyrl4444
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more When someone you loves passes away. Remember the good memories. And remember you only have to get through today and it's ok not to be ok.. you are beautiful important and intelligent ❤️
Coping with Grief and Loss
by Mel
Last post
 Friday
...See more There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there are healthy ways to deal with the grieving process. What are your own tips for coping with Grief & Loss? Here are mine: 1) Take care of yourself as you grieve! Everything you feel is normal and valid. 2) Face your feelings - they're there, okay, what are we going to do about them? 3) Find ways that you like to digest what you're feeling! It could be writing, drawing, talking, whatever you feel comfortable with! Share with us!
Supporting a friend through grief
by imreallygreat
Last post
 Thursday
...See more A close friend of mine lost a parent almost a year ago. The grief is of course still really bad and I’m don’t know what I can be doing to support.  They’re too nice and polite to ask me to do things when times are hard - any advice on what I can be doing to actually make their life easier while processing loss?
Can believe been 10 months seen my dad died
by countrygirl9988
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more It's been 10 months seen my dad died wish he was still here he could seen all the change in are family like me and my brother had loss alot weight over last 6 months me and brother trying be healthy we don't want be like are dad he died pain death my nephew graduation kinderation went first grade pops being so proud of him my niece she big girl next year be going to pre k and me and my brother my mom doing good we miss you every day of are life's seen put my dad tombstone on grave I have alot peace in my life knowing he heaven not pain my dad better places i don't cry like did went he died I will alway miss my dad and I love my dad with all my heart and finally accept that he never coming back again but in future I will see my dad again went old women but my dad want me live my life for him and I will alway be dad's little girl and he will alway be in my heart 
The Dream
by amusingAcai6041
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more I had a dream about you We were in an airport My family walked ahead of me I turned and walked the other direction After climbing the stairs I saw you Waiting at the top You were smiling I noticed the wrinkles on the corner of your eyes Proof that you used to smile a lot I was frozen and in shock It felt unreal And it was You hugged me and told me not to tell anyone I smelled your cologne Lavender Mom’s favorite flower and color Is that why you always wore it? You let me go and smiled at me again Everything was gone And I woke up in my bed I knew it had to be a dream Because you’re miles away Six feet in the ground
Neighbours
by andrewtan99
Last post
 Tuesday
...See more Fellow neighbours, you had been two great individuals for raising and keeping bothe my sister and I safe, we hope you are resting well in peace.
Dear friend
by nickname55304
Last post
 Tuesday
...See more You have been gone for more than 2 years. I have missed you every day non-stop. You have a hole inside my heart. When you left us I couldn't forget that. Everyone misses you. Your parents have changed so have your siblings. 
Lost a parent
by intellectualmaya8120
Last post
 Monday
...See more I lost my dad very recently and I'm having such a hard time with guilt and grief. We had a very complicated relationship and he was very abusive towards my siblings and my mom growing up but my mom left when I was a toddler and I never experienced any of that. It did affect my relationship with him because we truly didn't have one. Despite living in the same town he'd never see me more than oncea year when I was younger, and once I became an adult he never reached out and just stopped trying to be a part  of my life.  I hate that I'm sad that I lost the possibility of ever having a relationship with him, that he never tried and even in his last days he never asked forgiveness for not wanting to be a part of my life. The loss still hurts so much because I did love him and wished for him to be here for me.  The loss doesn't feel real. 
Hard grief
by SeekForgiveness730
Last post
 September 9th
...See more I have had many losses in my life. My grandparents, my dad. Recently I’ve lost a cousin around my age.  I’m just feeling so overwhelmed with emotions and I’ve been crying for the last month.  I’m overwhelmed with sadness.  It’s triggering my depression. Sometimes I just want to scream.

Our warmest welcome to the Grief & Loss Community!

To Join our Community:
- From a phone: click the three dots "..." at the top left and press "Join Community".
- From a computer: click the "+ Join" button to the left.

This is a caring and safe place to share your feelings arising from the loss of someone very important in your life. Might be a very recent loss, in the distant past, or any time in between.

You are invited to tell your story, write about your emotions, and also support others. Sort by "Recent" and answer their posts from your perspective and with your comforting words.

This is also a place to ask questions about the nature of grieving, how to cope with the pain, and also how to manage the disruption this loss might have caused in your life.

And then, get tentative answers from people who have been in the same situation.

Here we encourage and welcome remembering and honoring the memory of important people in your life who are no longer with you. You are invited to write about them, tell us what made them special, and tell us your feelings towards them.

You might join our Check-Ins too, where we meet and exchange ideas around a common topic.


What are the different forum topics for Grief & Loss?

Check-ins from the Community Team: Current and former check-ins for you to join the talk with other members of the Community around a common topic.
Resources for Grief and Processing Emotions: Find resources here to help overcome grief. 

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You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable). Check-in with us, join a discussion, or start one! Alternatively, you can join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.


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