Toxic Positivity
I would like to share a post that I have found because I have wanted to address the issue of Toxic Positivity
It can be hard to know when to distinguish between the two, so I hope this post can give guidance to listeners who may struggle with expressing positivity in a healthy way ( it can be hard to do, I struggle with this as well!)
Why is this important? In a forum that is centered around positivity, I think sometimes it can be hard to recognize that we could be (unintentionally) pushing off or ignoring the very real emotions and situations people are going through by saying something along the lines of "Everything will be okay!" "There is nothing to worry about!" etc etc.
And although, a line like "Everything will be okay" may be helpful coupled with other sentences of empathy and understanding of what the person is going through, words like these can be harmful and can diminish the other people's feelings or concerns when not used in the right context.
It is also important to make space for negative feelings such as sadness and anger whether it is for yourself or for the people around you. It is healthy to express these emotions with balance and you do not have to be positive/happy/care free all the time! (That is what makes us wonderfully human :) )
This isn't just for listeners but for members as well! Whether it is the fact that you want to be a supportive friend for someone going through a hard time OR you struggle with dealing with your own emotions and hide it with positivity (a lot of people do this so you are not alone!)
I hope this is helpful! Let's be on the journey to healthy positivity together! :)
@sierrarain03 great tips ❤ and very important, I'm not a listener, but I've learnt quite a few things about this when talking to people ❤ thankyou for this post ❤
Thank you for the reply! It definitely isn't just meant for listeners so I am glad this was helpful for you as well! ☺️☺️
@sierrarain03
I appreciate this! It’s good to frame things that doesn’t reject the sharer’s emotions, but rather remind them they always have support and opportunity. ❤️
Exactly! ☺️
@sierrarain03 I totally agree! It’s easy to unintentionally minimize feelings with well-meaning positivity. And I appreciate the reminder that we can express our emotions with balance and still support each other! 😊
@sierrarain03
Very meaningful, healthy and helpful post and photo. Thank you so much. Based on what it says in the photo, I’ve been on the toxic side of positivity in my long time ago part of my past. But reframed certain words to try making it as more helpful/healthy positive as possible whenever I was using any of them as advice to help people.
1. “Encourage people to always be happy and think positive” was changed to “Do you think you’re someone who can be happy and think positively whenever you’re able to? If so, please try to bc it’ll benefit you. When you can’t, it’s totally ok not to. Just always be yourself for yourself.”
2. “Says things like you should look for the good” was changed to “If you found the good things, great! But if you don’t, that’s not bad bc at least you tried to find the good things and that effort was good in itself.”
3. “Avoids how they truly feel in the guise of positivity” got changed to “A lot of people fake feeling positive and happy but actually aren’t. In the long run they’re hurting their own selves. Don’t ever fake anything. Always be your authentic self.”
4. “Denys all emotions except positive vibes” was changed to “It’s truly fine if you show any other emotion besides happiness. No one’s always happy. It’s part of being human as that includes unhappiness, upset, sadness, anger, etc. If someone or multiple people sees your unhappiness, at least someone may come to you and ask you what’s wrong allowing you to be open and express yourself about your unhappiness.”
5. “Trys to just get on with it instead of facing true feelings” got changed to “Accept the true feelings you have and face them. Nothing wrong with that. If you need help, kindly ask for it. Nothing wrong with that either.”
However for most of my life I’ve been on most of the helpful side of positivity based on what it says on that side in the photo.
1. Validating all emotions no matter how good or bad they were/are is something I’ve always been known for and why more than one person said they admired me.
2. Says things like “I’m here for you no matter what” and I’ve followed this. Anytime I said I’d be there, I was there.
3. Encourages people to share everything, good and bad is something I’ve done whenever someone was sharing something like a story or experience or something like that with me I’d make sure they were sharing everything whether it was good or bad.
4. Understanding that not every experience is a good experience is something I truly know all too well as I’ve had more than one experience that was not good. Same thing goes for everyone. Who hasn’t even had an experience that was not good???
5. Accepting and supporting yourself and others no matter how you feel - this is partially where I’m not fully on the helpful side of positivity, not currently anyway, but it’s only with certain members of my toxic immediate family bc of how they always are with me. But everyone else, I accept, support and help always and the same goes for myself :)
@sierrarain03
Yes this, let's say it loud!
