I am very isolated IRL. 7 cups helps me feel less alone.

Not that I enjoy it, but I participate in Mindfulness sessions.  i read that a doctor said:
"When we are depressed it's hard to do anything. But we do our therapy homework... because it's the only thing that helps."

@ASilentObserver

How has this community impacted your journey?

I have 'honed' my helping skills.


Idk people. Very well. Does one become homeless by hating people and entering a chat room. Talking to people. Or something. Or by ubering crazy hours when most aren't as crazy as working on a small amount in bank account. Idk what people want really. Idk I feel like I'm around toxic people with expectations outside of what I normally do. I don't even think I'd do anything if i ran into people I have feelings for irl tbh. My mind feels numb and blank. I dontvreally feel active or Like I have motion.. spices to everyone's inbox. I mean idk what people expect of me. I feel what I've been doing for the past 6 years.. I'd never want to be doing these things.. I guess I don't like my inner Mexican enough. What have I been doing, anyways? I wish the sharpies and meat would just leave me alone... being near my sec.tual father and others idk.. I postpone my dilemma. Im.being effected by people outside my sec.tual father. It's very caved in atm. Everyone hates me. I have no facilitater right now. I'm probably better off in a nursing home. There's no authority. I really relish a blind life. This would be easier for some people. Going back to someone else's misery from earlier. Ja it pretty much suc.ks here. Idk imma pretend the shredding machine that doesn't work doesn't exist. People need to stop liking the comments that say my life could have been better. Idk it was a majority consensus. Idk who.these people are. I don't need medicaid and dental of high costs.. like it has a flow somewhere. I don't think I should care. I just want to go back home.. some people took discipline in a way where they know they deserved it. I'm not saying I don't deserve it. Idk I'm really going day by day and getting myself through* my problems like I didn't have any to begin with. I guess I need more discipline. Some people hate me enough to be homeless right now. And they just are effected by people from far away without talking to me with these grudges..and I will never see them. May people tell them how I suffer so.they feel better. To the people in person, idk.. do food eaters and purse people hold hostility.. people are hating through gossip.. I know it's a part of the troll.. they need something bad to feel better.. idk I feel people are venting through labor. It feels angry everywhere for no reason. I have no power over my life right now. Idk how much more suffering they want. I'm not in a healthy situation. Idk I feel like I want to be a troll over things I don't like too in a bad way.. I take Jobs not knowing if I am skilled in it so idk if I even have those things anyway. I wish I could encounter more mistreatment in an alley somewhere. Maybe I should go to the town hall where the city life dwells more and put myself into the unsafe. Just to be near people of variety. Hmm..  Starbucks seems like a good place cuz they took away equal opportunity. Have a blessed and corrupt day, ty. I just wanted to share. I'm sorry.