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How to write a good appreciation message?

Hope February 21st, 2020

Hi everyone! Today I am here to talk about a very important topic and it is acknowledging the good in others and saying that out loud, more commonly known as appreciating others. This post is inspired by a chat I had with @GlenM on the importance of properly appreciating people. It seems simple enough, right? In a way it is but many of us are guilty of missing some key points when we try and appreciate someone. Worry not! There are a few simple things we can do to improve our appreciation messages/efforts. I will be talking about appreciation in terms of 7 Cups so we will stick to appreciation messages!

"You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins." – Jim Stovall

Here is what makes an appreciation message great!

It is specific

Think about the times when you received messages saying something nice about you. Pick out the one that you really liked, the one that made you feel appreciated. Was it vague? Was it one line? In most cases the messages that make a positive impact are specific, they praise a certain skill, feature or trait. When we give someone constructive feedback, we tell them exactly what they need to work on then why shouldn't we be specific in appreciating people? Let's see two examples below

Hi Katie, thank you for the discussion you led today, it was great!

Hi Katie, I am just dropping by to say that you replied to the members participating in the discussion with such empathy, I felt heard! You did great.

It is Individualistic

When we praise a whole group or team, we tend to ignore the individual efforts. When we think about the messages that made us feel really good, we tend to think about the ones that were aimed at us as an individual. Teams should be recognized and nothing wrong with appreciating the whole team once in a while especially when the whole team is present but do make it a habit to also acknowledge the individuals that make up that team!

Thank you to all the mods who help in ensuring that our chat rooms stay supportive!

Thank you, Steve, for consistently supporting members of the community room. Whenever you are here, I feel heard and listened to. You do a great job in ensuring a positive room environment.


It is genuine/authentic

Ask yourself if you truly mean what you are saying? Do you really appreciate the person for the trait/skill/knowledge. As humans, we sometimes differ in what we see as worthy of appraisal and that is okay. Pick the part that you truly want to acknowledge! Maybe you are impressed by the person's professionalism? Maybe they are so good at being approachable? Think about what you genuinely like about them or their work.

Hi Jim, thank you for all the work you do!

Hi Jim, loving the inspiring posts you are doing in our sub-community. They make my day, you rock!

It is not a one-liner

Once in a while, we all may use a line to appreciate someone but ideally, we want to be able to express our appreciation genuinely and specifically. If you do follow all these tips, you will find that you can easily write at least two lines. Life is too short to use only a line to show our appreciation!

Hi Catty, you are doing a good job welcoming the members.

Hi Cathy, I have been noticing your welcoming efforts in our sub-community. You write such positive replies and it shows that you truly care. I appreciate you!

It is not late

When you see it, say it! If you see someone doing something great. Try to acknowledge their efforts asap. At that moment, you will be able to create a genuine message and it would have a greater impact. A week later you may forget or simply no longer feel the emotion behind it.

Hi Anne, what a wonderful event you hosted last week, enjoyed it!

Hi Anne, I just wanted to thank you for the wonderful event you are doing. I am sure it takes a lot of effort to host a forum event like this but I can see the impact it is making. People are enjoying themselves, you made it happen.

It is frequent

I am not saying we should appreciate someone 24/7, that would make these messages lose its magic! However we shouldn't wait ages to acknowledge the people who great things each and every day. Try and make a habit out of it, when you see someone doing great, say it. When you see someone repeatedly do awesome things, don't ignore it, appreciate them repeatedly! It takes a few minutes out of our busy days but it can make someone's day.

It is creative

Now, of course, you don't have to be creative with each message but once in a while, when it comes naturally don't be afraid to show some creativity. Feel free to include what someone loves in the messages, include a pun, picture or a gif!

Hi there, I have a secret message for you: https://imgur.com/a/2iox38f

Hi Power, I just wanted to thank you for your hard work in the safety and knowledge sub-community. Your safety posts are really educational and to the point. You are making a powerful impact (pun intended).

Checklist!

The Next time you appreciate someone, be sure to look at all the tips but for a quick check at the end, you may follow this simple 3 question, check-list (the right answer is yes)

Is my appreciation message specific?

Am I focusing on an individual?

Do I truly believe what I am saying?

Example of a good appreciation message

Hi Claire, I hope you are well. I met you in the 'getting to know you' discussion today and I just wanted to say that you did a great job at supporting the members sharing in the discussion. You empathize well and I could sense that you care. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to support fellow human beings.

Let's practice these tips!

mail Write an appreciation message to a listener or a member from the community and tag them or to someone you know outside of 7 cups!

mail Post it by replying to this thread.

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Sunisshiningandsoareyou November 16th, 2020

@Hope

Lovely post Hope, thankyouu for this !! it doesn't take much to appreciate anyone and appreciating our peers and people around should always be encouraged. ❤

BearListens February 1st, 2021

@Hope

This is brilliant, Hope. This is such a looked over aspect of conversations and of life in general. I appreciate the mindfulness on your end that led you to come up with this! I've always had a vague understanding that appreciating someone goes beyong a mere 'thank you,' but to have a structured guideline like this is so satisfying and helpful!

Sunisshiningandsoareyou March 27th, 2023

Thankyouu Hope, for this lovely post on how to write a good appreciation message, I feel all appreciations are good appreciations, but I guess, there's an instant difference felt when the nitty gritties as you mentioned, are taken care of, it's when an appreciation is more closely welcomed/ accepted by the appreciated person, more "absorbed" and effectively-felt.

I came across this post again today, and wanted to thank you again, for taking the time to share it with the community. ❤