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Discussion 02: Building a Group

ASilentObserver January 3rd, 2021

Please note: In order to successfully complete the program, you must respond to this post. Your comment/response should answer the questions/show that you completed the given activity (if any). Read the post carefully and implement the learning in the chat rooms. If you didn't participate in Discussion 01: Introduction to Group Support, then check here!

Welcome back, crew! In this discussion, we will learn about building a group.

As you have observed and noticed, some chat rooms are the busiest space while some are pretty quiet or slow. That means many factors contribute to a group building. It could be the topic, time of the day, members already there, social anxiety, facilitator, and so on. Each one of them has a critical role to keep the room active and supportive.

The first thing to acknowledge: 7Cups is a global platform. We are available to 189 countries and we have users who speak more than 140+ languages. That is, we have a large group of diversified members and have demographic and cultural differences. But, the challenge is how to connect them?

So, to do that, we structured and created certain rules and policies in order to facilitate group interaction. One of them is to use English as a common language to communicate. As per the research, 20% of the Earth's population speaks English, that is, the highest percentage for a language used for communication followed by the Mandarin language.

Then, we placed the chatroom rules regarding what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior in the chatroom so we are able to ensure the room is well moderated, safe, healthy, and compassionate space to connect and interact to get and provide support to each other.

That means in order to build a group, you need to identify the common grounds, and based on that you can structure a group for group support. Anxiety Support Room, for example, serves the purpose to support the members struggling with anxiety or to share the progress they make and what is working for them. Sharing Circle Room, another example, serves the purpose of the most structured and uninterrupted space to share and vent.

So, how as a group specialist/ facilitator, leader, one sets up the group is crucially important for its success. One needs to have an eye for details, structural features of a group to ensure a good environment for participation. It is important to reduce the unproductive anxiety, foster compassionate interaction among the members, increase the likelihood of good attendance and active participation, therapeutic processes, and discourage any unhealthy cliques to build a healthy group.

Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?

Activity: Respond to at least two of your fellow trainees' comments with thoughts on their share.

After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next discussion here! Ensure to implement the learning from these discussions in the chat rooms to build and support the group. You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these discussions to successfully complete the program.

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Sher217 January 4th, 2021

@ASilentObserver

Hey there! If I understand your question correctly, I submit the following:

Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?

A challenge can be lack of participation even when the room count is good. Sometimes people "lurk" instead of participating.

I learned that often, if you encourage in a light hearted way, people will make the effort to join in.

For example: no one wants to share but the room count is over 10 people in the room but by saying something as simple as "okay, I know people are out there, lol. Don't be shy :) the next person gets warm cookies, a nice comfortable chair to sit in while they share and a warm blanket to snuggle in! And I'll be right here to cheer you on!!"

All of the sudden, there are 5 people to share!

1 reply
specialSnow9454 January 4th, 2021

@Sher217 Great idea.😁

ASilentObserver OP January 14th, 2021

@Sher217 you understood correctly and thank you for the response. Nice idea. So what other steps we can take to address this challenge in group building?

1 reply
Sher217 January 15th, 2021

@ASilentObserver

Other steps to counteract a lack of participation even when the room count is good.

First and foremost, in my opinion is to keep talking. Many people won't be the first to speak up in a 'dead room'. If I keep talking to the people who are responding and ask questions that allow others to jump in at any time, I've found that many people will join in rather than sit back and 'lurk'.

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Reemhelp February 19th, 2022

@Sher217 This is extremely truly and your solution is very helpful, I will definitely be using it in future sessions! (especially LCIs).

1 reply
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CalmRosebud April 3rd, 2023

@Sher217 I liked your idea of offering a cozy and welcoming environment. I think a lot of people arrive to the rooms lacking something, and sometimes it's just as simple as having that cozy, safe space.

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specialSnow9454 January 4th, 2021

Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?

CHALLENGE: Most of the times conversations get struck on HI and HOW ARE YOU. After that there's weird silence even if there are people in the room.

WHAT I LEARNT: You can call out people specifically by using their names and may even put up some jokes or questions etc. to just start on the conversation. After that there's a flow of messages.

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP January 14th, 2021

@specialSnow9454 great tip! Snow! Thank you for sharing it.

usefulSummer3139 March 18th, 2022

@specialSnow9454

I love this one! Definitely a problem a lot of rooms face

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Ines1229 January 10th, 2021

@ASilentObserver

Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?

I believe the lack of moderation is a huge challenge when it comes to groups. I remember this one time when there were 16 participants in the group chat, however none of them were willing to initiate the discussions, which is completely fine and understandable! This is why moderators are so important ❤️

What I have learnt is that ice breaker questions are a really interactive and amazing way to make members of the group engage in discussions! Fun topics are often something that would eliminate anxiety and open the discussion within the group environment!

this is what I've done - using ice breakers. And it worked!! ❤️

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP January 14th, 2021

@Ines1229 well pointed out Ines. We definitely need more group facilitators to keep the members in the room engaged.

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Azalea98 January 11th, 2021

@ASilentObserver

Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?

Personally, I find it challenging to build a group when there's an even spilt of people who know eachother very well and have been on this site for a while and new people who have only just joined.

The new people want to ask basic get to know you questions that the people who already know eachother have repeated over and over again and it becomes rather frustrating for them

However the more experienced people on the site will want to be talking or referencing things that happened on the site previously to when the new people joined.

I learnt that we have to be creative and find a new solutions (think outside the box a bit)

Play a new game that hasn't been played before that gives the 'oldies' some entertainment and a chance to get to know the new people in the community while also interacting with their previously established friends. While also giving the new people a chance to establish friendship with the more experienced listeners

1 reply
ASilentObserver OP January 14th, 2021

@Azalea98 absolutely AZ. And I liked that observation. You really picked a challenge not many mention. So I am glad you did. Good observations. I liked the idea of thinking outside box

CalmRosebud April 3rd, 2023

@Azalea98

I like this idea of "playing a game" to bring oldies and newbies on a more equal footing when it's clear there's a big dichotomy or schism in the group. I liked how @ASilentObserver put it in a recent post, that we were all new once, and we're all on a journey, and in some ways can all learn from each other.

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Kieran000 January 14th, 2021

@ASilentObserver

Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?

I've noticed when a group conversation is running well and fast, sometimes members aren't welcomed in and then they could feel upset or like they don't belong there. I try to welcome everyone, sometimes the chat goes too fast to be able to maintain a good conversation with members and welcoming new ones in and continuing a conversation with them if wanted. So sometimes that gets a little overwhelming but nothing too much. I learnt that it's best to welcome people as a group, not individually, for example I would say "Welcome to all those who have recently joined in, I hope you all are well." Unless there is not much activity and someone joins then I'd welcome them individually. I feel welcoming people is really important to keep a good inclusive community.

Dino12 January 17th, 2021

I have noticed that in chatrooms there can be many people talking all at once, and many different conversations happening. This can lead to people being overlooked and not getting the support they need. This can also lead to misunderstandings and lack of moderation. It can make people feel left out and like they don't belong. Additionally, I have noticed that there might be "cliques" of people who know each other well, and newer members might not feel as welcomed. I have learned from this the importance of inclusivity and moderation and making sure everyone feels heard and welcomed and supported. It goes a long way to make the community stronger and more supportive. One way we can make this happen is by commiting to be more aware of they dynamics of the room, asking an ice breaker to get things on the same track, thinking before typing and calling in a moderator when needed

ouiCherie January 23rd, 2021

@ASilentObserver

Challenge:

As the others also mentioned, to motivate people to join in the discussion/ conversation can be a challenge.

Learned:

♧ Greeting when people enter the room plays an important role to make people entering feel welcomed, acknowledged and may trigger motivation to join in the conversation/ discussion.

♧ Most often than not, icebreakers work.

♧ Although we wish everyone to join in, it is important to focus on those who already engaged.

Asher January 23rd, 2021

One of the challenges that I faced in the group chat support was understanding how to draw a line of how to enforce the rules for the culture of the room. As some rooms were expecting me to be more lean back than others. Then other ones would want to be strict as well. It was a learning curve to take all of this information in as sometimes I would be tell someone to speak in English in the chatroom and then become the enemy as then I would be seen as a racist. I learned from this experience is that it takes time to learn how to moderate but it also you have to be solid in the rules that you enforce around the board. If you are solid then the community doesn't challenge you that much and tries to fight you on every warning you give.

1 reply
CalmRosebud April 3rd, 2023

@Asher I agree with you about the whole English thing being a challenging rule since it's an international group. I agree it's possibly one of the most spoken languages but I liked the recent revision by @ASilentObserver, to at least allow greetings in other languages, but then translate them. I often will just quickly translate someone's utterance in another language because I have access on my keyboard, and it helps others in the room understand what that person says. Some of the expressions learned that way from our multitude of cultures and languages have been so affirming and positive, and I wish sometimes there was more of that.

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mxmes January 24th, 2021

@ASilentObserver

Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?

Challenge: Sometimes while hosting there could be new members who joined 7 cups and don't really know the rules or anything yet. So, it's kinda hard to go back and forth to new and the regular members/listeners. If that makes sense at all? Another challenge is the silence in chatrooms, you would have to find something interesting to get it lively, and sometimes people might just be busy with other things.

What I learned: I learned how to multitask within the chatrooms, as a peer supporter it's good to have resources on hand. Also, for hosting it's good to be quick with your responses and pay close attention so you won't miss anything. Even like handing out cookies can get a good crowd.

blindHeart12 January 29th, 2021

@ASilentObserver

Recently I instant host sharing circle and onenot4