My Story….
Hey guys!! So my name is Belles….I’ll give you a bit of description about me:
I’m athletic and love sports, and I have brown/chestnut hair and grey eyes. (Not super interesting)
I live in a toxic household and was diagnosed with high anxiety and depressive disorders before I was even a teenager. (I self-harmed before I was a teen too.) My parents are both diagnosed with the same things as me, and my dad has PTSD. Most of our house stress comes from him, he is an alcoholic and smoker. He used to be a veteran and a cop before he resigned. I know that he has been through some unspeakable stuff, and that I should be patient—and try to help him, but sometimes its really hard, he is always angry and takes it out on us. He is gone sometimes from early morning to late at night, and there was a time that i had to call the cops because he and my mom got physical. I don’t know how to handle all this at once! I’m falling behind in school and I feel like I have no purpose. My friends are drifting farther away from me, and I feel like I’m the only one in the world that feels amid sees things like I do. I’m just so tired and scared and nervous and angry and sad but over everything I’m angry and sad—im tired of being walked on and im angry that I haven’t walked away (though it would be hard because im only 14.) i just need some assistance. I feel so mentally unstable. Some weeks—some days im okay and then im terrible and then all of a sudden things are just amazing and im hyper. What is going on with me? What is wrong with me?
@bellsbum19 I have anxiety and depression and cptsd, so I know what your father is somewhat going through. However I would never behave to you or anyone the way he does😞 it's no wonder you feel so alone and a bit behind in school😞 dealing with mental health issues at your age, and having to petty much be the parent to your parentw, it's sad and not fair. The mixed emotions of highs and lows, I believe is your strength still searching for the beauty this world as to offer. I hope you get all the support you need and deserve here ❤gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤ you are cared about here, and we are all here for you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
thank you so much for saying that. I really appreciate that. ❤️ ❤️
@bellsbum19 how are you feeling today?
@Tinywhisper11
umm….had a bit of a stressful night last night that led into this morning and i did some self harm last night—but im okay! I promise!! ❤️ thanks for checking in! How are you? ❤️
@bellsbum19 oh I'm sorry I just got the notification you replyed. I haven't been around much lately. I'm doing ok ❤ well sort of. Are you sure your ok?? Please keep a check it doesn't become infected. Sorry you had a bad night 😞 nights can sometimes be the hardest time to get through. I hope your busy spoiling yourself ❤❤❤gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤❤❤
@bellsbum19 I feel like you’re not 😓 I’m kind of new to 7 cups so sorry if I wasn’t supposed to be included but I’m so sorry you have to go through all this, it sounds so scary and just painful to see and experience. But don’t forget that you made it through every single hard day before and honestly that just makes you so amazing! I felt so bad reading this because I know I have a similar experience and seeing that other people go through some of the things I do hurts so bad. I have psychic depression, when I heard that term I thought “oh so I’m basically crazy, makes sense” but when I looked more into it it doesn’t mean that at all😅 I also have really bad social anxiety, I’m so sorry your friends are starting to drift away, I feel like no one gets the pain of losing a best friend, especially if the way you lost them was their choice after they manipulated, lied, and used you, and now they won’t stop spreading rumors about you and talking bad when all you ever did was be the best friend anyone could have, it happens so many times and tbh I feel like I never really knew anyone (in my life) that was genuinely nice, all my ”friends” were so toxic and cruel, my classmates talk bad about me when I’m right there, everyone looks at me like I’m a freak, and because of all the creative rumors by my ex “friends” 6 year groups hate me, and I never even talked to or saw 5 and a half of them. Ofc I try to ignore it and “not care” but come on it’s not that easy when people at my school are a constant reminder that I’m just a freak, I’m in a winter break right now, and I’ve been having such a good week (a normal person would probably consider it neutral or bad but oh well) then I basically got a lot of texts from one of my ex friends and I couldn’t stop crying, I didn’t even sleep, I was crying so hard I stopped breathing Oh I just realized I made this about myself and completely ignored your feelings🥲 if you think your friends are good people, try telling them what you’re going through (if you haven’t already) or maybe tell them that right now you feel like you really need them cause you love them so much and don’t wanna lose them? And for your dad, it sounds really tough and maybe this is a dumb idea since I’m not the one in the situation but maybe when he gets mad try telling him it’s ok ? He probably goes through a lot but that’s not a reason to not try to get better and let it affect you like that, but I want you to try too, as in try to get better, smile every day for 30 seconds, it releases endorphins and tricks your brain into thinking you’re happy, take a conscious breath every day and remind yourself that you’re here because you made it here, you made it this far, when I’m sad I like to think of things that make me happy like adorable cats (I’m obsessed with cats!) check my bio! I’ll update it again later but maybe it’ll help<3
@bellsbum19
Everyone has difficulties. I'm not defending your Dad's behavior but seeking a therapist Is the best way to learn to deal with your emotions and find effective ways to strategize how to fix them. If you DO end up getting a therapist, don't hold back. Tell them every detail. They are there to help you and licensed to do so.
