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My Story….

bellsbum19 December 11th, 2023

Hey guys!! So my name is Belles….I’ll give you a bit of description about me:

I’m athletic and love sports, and I have brown/chestnut hair and grey eyes. (Not super interesting)

I live in a toxic household and was diagnosed with high anxiety and depressive disorders before I was even a teenager. (I self-harmed before I was a teen too.) My parents are both diagnosed with the same things as me, and my dad has PTSD. Most of our house stress comes from him, he is an alcoholic and smoker. He used to be a veteran and a cop before he resigned. I know that he has been through some unspeakable stuff, and that I should be patient—and try to help him, but sometimes its really hard, he is always angry and takes it out on us. He is gone sometimes from early morning to late at night, and there was a time that i had to call the cops because he and my mom got physical. I don’t know how to handle all this at once! I’m falling behind in school and I feel like I have no purpose. My friends are drifting farther away from me, and I feel like I’m the only one in the world that feels amid sees things like I do. I’m just so tired and scared and nervous and angry and sad but over everything I’m angry and sad—im tired of being walked on and im angry that I haven’t walked away (though it would be hard because im only 14.) i just need some assistance. I feel so mentally unstable. Some weeks—some days im okay and then im terrible and then all of a sudden things are just amazing and im hyper. What is going on with me? What is wrong with me? 

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Tinywhisper11 December 11th, 2023

@bellsbum19 I have anxiety and depression and cptsd, so I know what your father is somewhat going through. However I would never behave to you or anyone the way he does😞 it's no wonder you feel so alone and a bit behind in school😞 dealing with mental health issues at your age, and having to petty much be the parent to your parentw, it's sad and not fair. The mixed emotions of highs and lows, I believe is your strength still searching for the beauty this world as to offer. I hope you get all the support you need and deserve here ❤gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤ you are cared about here, and we are all here for you ❤

9 replies
bellsbum19 OP December 11th, 2023

@Tinywhisper11

thank you so much for saying that. I really appreciate that. ❤️ ❤️ 

9 replies
Tinywhisper11 December 12th, 2023

@bellsbum19 how are you feeling today?

8 replies
bellsbum19 OP December 12th, 2023

@Tinywhisper11

umm….had a bit of a stressful night last night that led into this morning and i did some self harm last night—but im okay! I promise!! ❤️ thanks for checking in! How are you? ❤️ 

8 replies
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iloveyouxx December 15th, 2023

@bellsbum19 lol it’s alright< 3

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placidMoon6992 December 15th, 2023

@bellsbum19

Everyone has difficulties. I'm not defending your Dad's behavior but seeking a therapist Is the best way to learn to deal with your emotions and find effective ways to strategize how to fix them. If you DO end up getting a therapist, don't hold back. Tell them every detail. They are there to help you and licensed to do so.

1 reply
bellsbum19 OP December 15th, 2023

@placidMoon6992 

I have a therapist, however I am not seeing him currently. I have been to many different therapists over a course of 3 years. I just don’t think therapy is very helpful for me. Thanks! 

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