Road Rage management

@Screen77

I hear what you are saying.

I am one that doesn't like Stupid. What is stupid you ask? "Anything outside the law and anything that is Stupid (by my standards)."

So to give context. I grew up in a small extreme rural community. Average age was probably 40+. Consisted of retired, farming, Military, Gov families.
To get from one side of town to the other you had two choices. One lane (two way traffic) portions two lane, with traffic lights every block (6 miles = 23 traffic lights) or back roads around the town (one lane). which now we talking 12 ~ 18 miles.
Back roads will have animals (ground hogs, rabbit, cows, dogs, cats, etc) farming equipment (horse buggy, tractors, four wheelers, dirt bikes, etc).
Where I have been for 2+ decades is very Metro like 1+ million in a ~25 mile radius. Highways Six lanes each direction. Back roads almost doesn't exist. You use main roads (three lanes) or highways\Interstates.
Traffic can be a nightmare here if there is an accident (which is common) or broken down vehicle (out of gas) . Worse it has been a 12 mile ride took 4+ hrs (hope you have an empty container LOL)

So my point, I have had to learn to deal with stupid by applying logic.
"Am I going to get an award being first?"
"Being a head of you, Dollar fifty, and driving reckless is going to get me 2 ozs of starbucks"
"I can let this guy a head of me and I will know I will make it to (fill blank) safe. OR I can get in front of him and be like 2 seconds faster."

The reality is, you are in a 2 ton weapon. I don't think you want to hurt someone, so take a deep breath and put on some music enjoy the rewards of having a vehicle

@Screen77

There are many of us out there not the crazy type that go beyond just saying things in car or maybe gestures to other drivers ......

I do not think people who have this situation are angry in general......if anyone encountered the items i do they would also be annoyed.

it is IMO that people have lost the sense of being polite or even caring they are not the only person on the road. Most do not even know rules of road or basic road manners.

I travel same route to work and EVERYONE who is on that route know the normal situations on that route ..... bus stops, merging areas, short lights , one spot getting in turn lane early not half in half out blocking and most irritating last minute decisions of oops I need in that lane there is my turn .... i am not responsible you did not plan ahead for your turn.

It frustrates most all people............. but so many falsely act as if it does not ................. I recently had a discussion at work and low and be hold ............all this anger and cussing came out .....of many whom act like driving angels and say things like "oh not me" .........

i know that i compensate where i can knowing the areas where most inconsiderate and bad drivers are and try to avoid....... I think having a good let it all out,,,,,,,,,,, like i did with work folks it helped.

@Screen77

I understand how frustrating it can be living in a town where everyone seem to be on the scenery drive, as I like to call it.

When all we want to do is get to the place we need to be at, it's a challenge to have to endure that often.

What could help?

When we're going through tough emotions such as these, they are just as valid as if you were having a tough time in general, your feelings are completely valid!

Would naming the emotions that you're feeling when you feel the road rage help you? If so, what feelings are you feeling in that moment?

Sometimes we can't see the underlying emotions because we only see the top one, anger. What other emotions might be there too? Would showing yourself understanding of how you feel and what you're experiencing help?

I hope those questions help😊

@Screen77 That's good you are not an angry person and that you know you are in the wrong. That should give you hope you can change. I use to know someone who would only drive in town. He would get panic attacks if he would drive to another town. I don't want you to develop a fear of driving. I didn't get my driver's license until I was about 26 or 27 years old. I wanted to drive but I was scared. I was scared if I would be driving too slow and hold up cars behind me. I would go the speed limit but here everyone drives over the speed limit. I was scared if I did something wrong and people would honk at me and yell at me. I was afraid of getting in an accident. My friend's ex-boyfriend would get mad at a driver and drive up really close to the car's bumper like he was going to wreck them. That scared me. I didn't want people to do that to me.

People have busy lives and it feels like there is not enough time in the day. That could lead to stress, anxiety, depression and not having patience. People also don't like to waste time. Time goes by fast and I wonder how much time is wasted waiting for a red light to turn green throughout a person's life. Maybe wasted a year sitting at a red light.

I do feel mad at other drivers but I don't say bad words or flip people off. It's not in my nature. I'm a kind person. I can't stay mad about it because it's not healthy. I try to stay positive and stop thinking negative. I have been behind slow drivers. I do wonder if they have trouble seeing, if they are old, or if they are drunk. I do have compassion for the old drivers because I would get old someday and probably drive like them lol. Anyways I still have hope for you to control your anger.

@Screen77

Hi Screen! 😊❤️ Thank you for your forum post!

I'm glad that you have started becoming concerned about this. I think you have reason to do so. For safety reasons it is a good idea that you consider how things are going and your behavior. You never know how another motorist is feeling that day, what they are capable of doing when being, as you said, "flipped off" or seeing you yelling inside of your vehicle, making faces and or seeing visible body language on your part associated with anger.

If you find yourself doing this, consistently, daily and with no control over your behavior it could be time to take a break from driving for awhile. We don't have control over the behaviors of others however we should be able to maintain control over ours especially when operating a motor vehicle weighing in the tons moving at high speeds. This sounds very dangerous and for a myriad of reasons.

Have you considered leaving your home 15 minutes earlier so you do not feel rushed to get to your destination? Perhaps this could lesson some of the stress you are experiencing? Have you considered doing some internet searches on what can happen to motorists when engaging in what is called "road rage"? Many things could be found when doing that, can be seen, wash over your retina's to see some of the consequences of that behavior.

There are many negative consequences. You could become the victim of a crime. You could lose control over your vehicle and hurt innocent people on the road. Engaging this way could distract other motorists and they too could lose control over their vehicle. People have dash cams these days. People can do jail time, have exorbitant fee's for court costs, damages to others to be paid monetarily as well as live with their conscious for the rest of their lives if someone else were to be seriously injured or even worse.

Have you considered having deep thoughts such as these before putting your keys in your ignition? That driving on the road is not a right but yet a privilege and one that can be revoked? If you decide to do an online search, read stories and look at some of the images and hear of the loss of families of their loved ones that happened in road rage incidents, I wonder if it could help and cause you pause? How would you feel if a loved one of yours was lost in a road rage incident and someone not even behind the wheel? They had no choice, none at all.

It can help to have empathy for others and try to imagine what might be on their minds or what might be going on with them. I remember something I read once and I will share it with you now in an effort to help.......

A man got on a bus with his two children. The two children were causing absolute caos. Jumping around, upsetting passengers. They were not being monitored and just allowed to treat other passengers deplorably . He stared off into the distance seeming to care less about his children, their behavior and how it was affecting others on the bus. After awhile, some of the passengers where getting quite upset. How dare this man allow his children to act this way! How dare he not care and not teach his children right from wrong at home.

Finally, an angry passenger spoke up. They confronted the man. They had, had enough as well as the other passengers around them. They said "how dare you let your children act this way. Why do you teach your children nothing about manners at home"?

The man, with glazed over eyes apologized to the passenger. They said "I'm so sorry. We just left the hospital today. I lost my wife and they lost their mother. I guess none of us are handling this very well".

Hoping my story will help you to have empathy and mercy on other people on the roads. Ones that aren't even behind the the wheels of the cars that are upsetting you. There are other passengers in those cars, babies, children, pets, adults that have no choice but to be in that car and no control over what that person behind the wheel is doing.

I have empathy for you too my friend! I know others can be upsetting to us. I'm hoping this was helpful. I send *hugs* ❤️

@Screen77 Anger or frustration can become a habit and it’s good that you are addressing it. There are a set of conditions where you become impatient and it sounds like this makes you behave in ways that you don’t value. Can you try to set the intention to be patient before you get in the car? Do you notice yourself getting impatient at other things in your life perhaps? I’ve found mindfulness practice helpful with these kinds of things. Some days I have to remind myself to keep one eye on the road and another on where my mind is. I’m not always aware of where my mind is and driving seems to be one of those times when our mind quite naturally running on autopilot.