Little Help Please….
Hey everyone…so this has been weighing on me for a while….and i dont really know how to put it into words but I’ll try my best. ❤️
so i used to play hockey and I’ve been playing since I was 5 years old and skating before i was even 3! My mom was a college hockey player and so was the whole side of her family. So naturally i learned to skate young and then started playing hockey. But this year my parents took me out of it. And i felt like something was ripping me apart—literally. Every time someone brings up anything that triggers the memory of hockey it feels like my chest is cracking. ( i understand that most of you probably wont care and your probably thinking that im being dramatic-its just a sport right?) well to me it wasn’t just a sport it was a way for me to get out of my home, every weekend i was gone for games, every day i had practice and I didn’t have to see my family. It was like heaven. I thought that I would play college hockey-just like my mom and everything in my life would be good. I would never have to come back to Minnesota. (This is no longer making sense….) but the moral of the story is that i used to feel small cracks in my chest every once in a while, but now that I don’t have hockey-and I can’t even skate, my chest feels like it is cracking….is that weird? Am i being dramatic? I’ve never felt cracks like this. They are so big and weigh me down and make me just want to cry. I feel so tired all the time now, sleep has never been so great, and it takes so much effort just to smile at someone now a days. This “cracking chest” sensation is making me feel sick. I need some help! What does this mean why are the cracking on my chest feeling so terrible now?
I get that I probably wrote gibberish and none of this makes sense but I just really needed to get this out, let me know if you need me to clarify anything.