Dealing with Grief and Relationship Stress
The start of my week was so difficult. Have lots of grief from my dad’s death and my bf giving me the silent treatment.
My father passed away about a month ago. I didn’t have the greatest relationship with him but I recognize he is still my father and I do have love for him. Yesterday was a special day, his 40th day since passing which in my culture is observed. It symbolizes his last day on Earth and the day he goes to the afterlife. On my way home, I ran into my father’s friend in the subway and he didn’t get the news (they lost touch months ago). He was so shocked from the news. I felt so much pain retelling the story to my dad’s friend and cried/ hyperventilated when I got home.
On top of this, I have dealt with anxiety the whole day from my boyfriend who has been one of my biggest supporters throughout my grief journey.
Backstory: He cheated on me 4 years ago and I forgave him, we started dating again this year. I told him that I had a dream that cheated on me. I texted him about it expressing that the dream upset me and clarified later that I was not accusing him, even though it was a dream it frustrated me, given our history. In turn, he told that he is mad at me and has since been giving me the silent treatment. I didn’t want to tell him about my dad’s 40 day thing either because I did not want him to think I’m using that to get him to speak to me.
I’m filled with anxiety about everything and upset that I’ve pushed one of my biggest supports away on one of the days I need the most support on.
Should I have kept to myself??
@ness1698 I'm so sorry about your dad😞 that must be really hard for you. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤and sends lots of love and well wishes your way. I don't think you did anything wrong by telling him your dream. I mean him cheating must have been a big mental blow 4 years ago. And you can't control your dreams. If anything I think he should of been reassuring you he won't do that again, and feeling guilty for it on his part. Tell him about the 40 day thing, you deserve support right now ❤❤ huggs you again. We are all here for you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 thank you for your kind words ❤️
He has not reached out to me all day today which is making me anxious. I just wanna break up with him for causing me this much pain but I also dont wanna make rash decisions
@ness1698 you know I've never actually been in a relationship so I'm not sure what best to say to you ❤ but honestly I don't think I would stay with him either😥 your the one hurting right now, and his actions just seen kinda selfish. I'm sorry sweetie whatever you decide just know, you have our support all the way ❤❤ how are you feeling today?
@ness1698 I am so sorry you had to lose your father and getting treated bad by someone you trust at the same time. If you want to talk about stuff you can always text me.
Update: I broke up with my bf. He finally told me yesterday that he has been “depressed” that his parents found out about us and was very angry about him dating me (an Asian girl) again. An issue totally unrelated to the dream. A few times he brought up how he was willing to discuss things over through call/ in-person but when I asked to set up a time, he became was very avoidant. I don’t think it was for fair me to keep waiting and suffering especially on top of my grieving process. So I ended things today. To which he quickly responded to and was so okay with it
@ness1698 gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ squeezes you tightly ❤well your better off with out him and his racist family. I'm so sorry you dont need this right now, with the loss of your father. My heart goes out to you ❤ just know we care about you and we are all here to support you. Gives you another hug. Don't be afraid to reach out here for support ❤❤
@ness1698 I hate this whole concept of boyfriend and girlfriend. It is based on nothing but lust. If you love someone so much, what should stop you from marrying them? Such immoral practices these are.
