Y’all ok?
Hey I wanted to make sure y’all are all ok!
Life can be rubbish, and I get that but I want you all to make sure you drink at least a glass of water a day and make sure you’ve eaten today.
Ya’ll can tell me your problems and I’ll try n help you out, I love helping others! But just make sure you’re sleeping lol😂. I know most you aren’t you aren’t seen as it’s like 2am but atleast give it a shot, do NOT copy me!
anyways love y’all and hope you’re all doing ok!
Aww this is sweet!
The occasional stretch can be helpful too!
Your show of compassion is exactly what we’re about here 💙 thanks for checking in with us!
Thank you ma’am.
Chillin 
@MagnusCh4se
yes we mostly not sleep much sometime we sleep to much. why we not sleep at times is memories of the abuse. but when we sleep to much it due to living with chronic pain 24/7. the doctors say they done all they can to help and we just have to do best to live with the physical pain we in. but some days seem worst then other days. so many not get what it like to live in pain 24/7. plus add on bipolar CPTSD DID and social anxiety. it just make like hard. my family not care about me never really have. many of them abused us but they claim they did not. so to many secrets. seem we only ones that do not want to keep them secrets as to keep them mean to live in mental pain and shame. so for us the problems being lonely and not believed so feel unheard a lot of the time.
so we stay up late at times when we can sleep in late due to we hate mornings. not sure anyone can really help us. we go to community mental health and see a councilor there and a psych too. but seem like they do not want to talk about how the abuse from the past is still effecting us today. how can one heal id they not allowed to talk about what happened? this is partly why we came here too.
Well I’m sorry about the abuse and pain, I know how it feels to be ignored and feel like nobody wants to actually listen, I know what it feels like to not be alowed to speak about it either, if you want you can talk to me about your problems, I’d happily listen and try to give helpful input.
I hope you’re ok and please don’t forget to take care of yourself!
@MagnusCh4se
thank you most the time we feel like we dealing with stuff alone. one thing that has always helped us is our spiritual faith. even as a kid we felt that way. but like every other thing we was put down by our dad for it. seem like we can do nothing right. when we do something others outside family think good. family members some of them just point out what we did wrong in it or say nothing. when we at 44yr old got a AS degree in graphic design only my one brother told us he was proud of us. dad only said it was a worthless thing to get a degree in and rested said nothing. that make us feel like we do not matter also that we unseen and unheard. our lives been messed up from even before we was born. we only had 7 and 1/2 years we been free of the abuse mostly. so it kinda like we not know really who we be we know what others say we be. but truly feel like we really not know self due to always doing what was expected of us to do. this came from fear of mom and dad. even at 54yr old i not know who i am it seems odd even to write that out. we been doing healing work since we left our now ex is dec 2004. but we end up back with parents again and community mental health did not hear us they said our mother was our best support. we told them how she was when we was alone with her or within family home. but that they did not hear and believed my mom on many things. she was lying and covering up for my dad and oldest brother.
so yes i still getting help from community mental health but due to it only one that take my medicaid here. but we mostly not trust them after what happened. we not really trust therapists much at all. but we have had a friend online that one we known over 20 years. but she been on disability a long time due to JRA that went untreated until she became adult was on own. so feel stuck in away in my healing journey and at times fearful of them that to be there to help any ideas how can change this thank you
That sounds horrible! Well I must say first of all, that getting a degree in graphic designs sounds like such a cool and hard thing to do, well done. Don’t listen to your dad, a degree in anything can be useful, so well done on achieving that. The spiritual stuff sounds realy cool, I’d love to hear more about it, spiritual faith can always help us and I’m glad you found some comfort in it, even as a kid. I’m sorry you felt unheard and unseen but I see and hear you now (if it counts) and I’m so sorry your life has been messed up, you realy didn’t deserve it. I know how hard it can be to not know who you are and be afraid of your parents, and that you ended up back with them.
Not trusting therapists is a tough one, so even just getting aid on here is a realy good step forward, welldone for seeking help on here. That was realy a big step forward and (although it may not feel like it) every small step you take is progress and I’m realy proud of you for doing it.
I would suggest going no contact with your parents (if you can and haven’t already) and just staying on this website to chat with people, it can make you feel better and I love chatting with you! Just chatting is another step forward and I’m proud of how far you’ve come. Wel done
@MagnusCh4se
thank you this mean a lot to me. we do see a counlor at community mental health. but not very many who work at community mental health ones seem to know much about childhood abuse and self harm and DID. but were we live it only place that take Medicaid too. we have a long time friend online who a social worker she also has DID. she been retired in away for long time due to her RA that started as a young child. her parents did not get it treated the RA and well they abused her too. so she relate to us a lot been helpful somewhat too. but at times she seem to think what worked for her it will work for all. she seem to not get we different and different things work for different people too.
we moved away from family and childhood place we lived too. but due to parents age and health we do stay in connected with mostly dad. mom no longer talks on phone she kinda went backwards in her mind. she has last stage Parkinson so that reason we still in connected with parents. also my mom been in abuse all her life and never got help even when others have tried to help her get help. we broke her codependent on us. think that was hardest thing to ever do but we was tired of not being seen for who we be and only being seen as what other assumed from what mom said.
new life out of abuse at first seemed unnatural seeing that abuse was all we know. we did a lot of healing even when in the abuse but could not go deeper due to still was in the abuse. but getting out of it was scary in away as we did not know a life without abuse. but now we do we never go back to how it use to be if that make since.
we have before been on forums and in chat-rooms too. but seemed most know little about the different things we deal with. yes they know about maybe one or two of them. they just seemed also like just places ones complained and wanted pity. they did not really want to do healing work to be free of the stuff they been through at all.
we have been and want to keep doing the hard healing work. but also want to support others and have support too. but were we live offline we can not really get that. as no support groups.
so we thought we try here due to seem more trained ones here and well others who want to do the hard healing work too. thank you for the support
I’m proud you’re trying to do all the hard healing work, unlike others, as I know how hard it can be to get help. I’m glad to hear your online friend has been some help, but I hope she’s ok what with the abuse and RA.
I’m glad you moved away and found a safe environment, even just low contact can be really good still, sometimes better depending on things. Well done for breaking her codependency on you though, although that was hard it had to of been a step forward, so well done. I really hope you’re being seen for who you are now and not what anybody else says about you, not being seen for you or at all can be really tough, and I completely get that. If it counts, I see you for you now.
Life out of abuse can feel different, but I’m glad you’re used to a life without it, that’s a lot of progress to healing!
I’m glad you tried here, even though not everyone is looking to support/seek help from others, there a few that are willing to and that will not only help you out but also advise you some help. Sometimes even just having to talk to helps, that’s what I’m here for now! I hope you can find some professionals on here, who can I help you a lot more, and hopefully help you through your whole journey.
I will be here for the whole journey and would love to listen if you’ve ever got problems, or just need a friend to talk to. But I must ask, how has your day/night been?
@MagnusCh4se
thank you for me i been both a help to others and received help too. when i had to shut down the forums i owned due to changes at the place i had them. it hurt a lot as i had them 20 yrs and well also have had some training in supporting others. we thankful for a few online who in past have helped us. but in late 2017 we lost the one we trusted most online he was a pastor and trained counclor too. he had been a great help to me and we helped me with what he was writing o n R.E.FR.A.M.E it used in to help people think things out we not remember a lot of it any more but at the time was very helpful it part of CBT that like DBT we all miss him a lot he was a very dear friend to us. he died of brain cancer. we at first was lost without him but we still did the hard healing work. he taught us that healing a journey and it not a race to heal. he said never compare your healing journey to others healing journeys that meet a lot to us over the years
so thank for the support and hope we can support you too
my day been hard but in away good too. last night i got in it with a friend who seem to not hear me when i say i need space over and over i told her this. last night she texted me said if she not here from me she was going to call cops have well check done. it made me very angry due to it had only been 2 days i not talked to her. that not long at all. i end up texting another friend asking her if what i asked for was unreasonable she said not then remind me that other friend not respected my boundaries before. i did text the friend try to explain again that at times we will not answer phone and texts due to we need personal time and space. we did not have that growing up and in our marriage think that why it so important to us now. the few days we take to just think and reflected on things journal paint ect help us a lot we need that at times. not sure why others not understand it at all.
thank you for seeing and hearing me this still new to us
@stormieandpaws I am very sorry for what happened to your old friend, he sounds like a good guy and I’m happy he taught you about how important it is to focus on your own learning journey and not others.
@MagnusCh4se Hi aww that's so sweet. I have a lot of stuff going wrong, how are you?
That’s not very good! Hopefully things get better for you. But I’ve also got a lot of things going wrong in my life, we can’t always win
@MagnusCh4se Not really. Just found 7 cups because I am sick of feeling like I do and went on a search. Depression is crippling me and psychologist just tells me that I have a lot going on in my life. Something I already knew. Am drinking lots of water because I have to force myself to eat- must say though- this is a great diet plan (only benefit of feeling like complete crap) Just trying to make myself do anything is a huge task so I just end up doing none of the tasks I need to do.
That sounds ***, may I suggest you try to little things? Even just maybe putting some things away (like some clothes) or just making your bed. It can I help you feel a little bit better and maybe even motivated to do things. If not you could just try to maybe do something you like that you don’t have to move for (like drawing or writing) you know?
But although it sucks you’re forcing yourself to eat, you’re still eating and that good! Hopefully you’ll feel better soon and maybe even find someone who could a bit (like a listener) or even just someone to vent to whenever you need (I don’t mind being that person if you’d like) but I realy hope you feel better soon!