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nessdamess
10 78,785 M Big Steps 9
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts6,418 Forum posts78 Forum upvotes107 Current upvotes107 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceJanuary 7, 2024
Bio

19. Hobbies: Art, Dance, Fashion & Poetry 


Recent forum posts
My life is a nonstop depressing cycle and i feel hopeless
Depression Support / by nessdamess
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more TW- mentions of suicide (a bit) i have been struggling with pretty much nearly everything typical people do my whole life including my mental health. My dad who has worked as a doctor is putting it all down to oh its just behaviour apparently hes gone from i have a learning difficulty to no its now just my behaviour and negative attitude of life when nothing ever works out for me how am i meant to be happy like i dont understand. hes a hypocrite. he found out i was suicidal from the police he didnt ask questions just assumed its because of me not being prepared for my theory test. im always in this house and i hate it. it doesnt seem like theres anyone genuine who cares for me and then thats where i think that i must be a bad person with a bad life. I stay in this house caring for my brothers cooking cleaning food shopping i have no life of my own. Yet its like everyone wants to trap me in a box but according to them i did that to myself. its all lies.
My dad has everyone fooled into thinking hes a nice guy but hes not fooling me
Depression Support / by nessdamess
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more He manipulates me and emotionally verbally abuses me yet im treated like the help the charity the crazy mentally unstable weak link by him i'm sick of it!
chat with @maplesinthewinter @peachScarf3660 @helloLake9286
Pen Pals / by nessdamess
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more @maplesinthewinter @peachScarf3660 @helloLake9286 Hi guys, this is a group chat for us to keep in contact on :)
Chat with @sunnyPark732
Pen Pals / by nessdamess
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more @sunnyPark732 @Lu001S2S3  let me know if you can see this message but I made this for us to keep in contact on here. Speak about anything :). 
Vent (tw - sh anxiety and depression)
General Support / by nessdamess
Last post
 Friday
...See more TW - sh, anxiety & depression SO i didnt think i'd do this but like i feel like with family issues im rly drained. i relapsed after not sh for ages. my dad basically kicked me out in february since then ive been living with my mum and its like my dad all over again. for context without too much details my dad was emotionally abusive and very narcistic and controlling and rarely liked me. he would say he loves me but his actions didnt portray that my mum ive also realised is pretty much the same. ive been screaming at them both to hear me and not make things about themselves and what i do that upsets them when im talkin about their behaviour. since february ive been trying to feel better but things have gotten worse my dad blocked me and so did one of my little brothers without hearing my side. i also got removed from the family group chat only my sister is still talking to me. i realised its a waste of time trying to talk to my parents but im still angry ive started getting triggered by everything and lashing out. and i want to be an independent young adult but right now nothing in my life is going according to plan. i already hate myself and life and everyone is making me feel that way too even when they say they are being real and honest because they care about me. i have my hobbies and friends irl and online but like i still feel like i have not one person or thing that gives me constant support cause everyone deserves that right? plus i also think i may have autism and adhd plus my friends with autism have given me examples why they think this. i think trying to get diagnosed will help as i always feel different and like an outsider to everyone 24/7 and it will help me get to know myself more and manage my mental health. i have started writing poems again though and picked up art too again and fashion again plus ive got started up on antidepressants from my gp (after months of rarely or not at all doing any of these things). i am trying despite me having little to no energy but i feel hopeless. i came on 7cups as a last resort since im rarely here and i came back and i feel like all my friends (old, new and current) on here have dissapearred and plus i feel ignored and not genuinely heard by everybody even helplines. i'm so exhausted (if anyone has questions please feel free to private chat or sometjing like that as i dont want to go into too many details on here, and if anyone reads/listens/replies i appreciate u <3)
wrote this poem two days ago
Poetry / by nessdamess
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more Tired of not being heard. Tired of remembering my dad called me absurd. Tired of feeling like a black sheep in a herd full of white sheeps. Tired of struggling to fall asleep. Tired of hearing you’re the company that you keep when my life is at its peak. I closed my beak. Everything reeks. I seek happiness. You reap what you sow. I want to glow so brightly that it can’t be taken lightly. Tired of remembering the times my dad said I think I’m special, I felt people were watching me and waiting for me to fall off that pedestal. I’m tired of looking for approval in the wrong places and feeling like I take up too many spaces. I pace and pace, everything has been glazed over. I am stuck in a daze, I am trapped in a nonstop maze. I feel like I am in space. I want to break my ways, but I don’t know what to say. So I delay and I just want to run away.
Nessa the mess ❤️
Hobby Zone / by nessdamess
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I shall post all my hobbies here from now on, so stay tuned <3
Friend appreciation
Positivity & Gratitude / by nessdamess
Last post
 January 30th
...See more Hi guys I’m still a newbie to this site but I just wanted to tag some of my friends I really like talking to cause I am grateful for all of you guys and I always enjoy talking to you guys. You guys are all so dope never stop being yourself ❤️ Love you and appreciate you all @softandtender @elfinna @Mikki996 @Sonic @s0nnylondon @elbabael @intothewoods @LexiiKardashian30 @@AlanaGirl @RossyGlossy @OrchidMelody (and much more friends so don’t be offended if i didn’t tag you) 
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