Want to share about how I feel
Hi guys, it's me again. I shared a lot of story about my feelings here on this site. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting better, other times I feel worse. Honestly, I don't know anymore. When I remember about those people who hurted me still out there being happy, I feel sad again. But then I told myself that it's ok. I will be better. I shouldn't care so much about that person.. The reason why I'm here is because lately I even doubt my internet close friends that know about what's troubling me. I don't feel good. I hate how they seem interested to me but then can also ignore me for days. I knew that, I shouldn't depend so much on them. We used to be strangers, and it's only online connection but. Silly me been hurting about this since June last year .. I feel so stupid. I feel happy everytime they listen to my story, I feel grateful, but lately I don't know who to trust anymore. I realized that maybe I'm just a nobody in their eyes. I want to leave, to disappear from them. Hoping that maybe my temporary absence will get their attention.. I accept that experience with that bad person , I must move on. But it's just so difficult. I wonder when will I be truly happy? I hope this year I will be happier.. Social media can be so evil, it triggers my anxiety, trust issues and sadness.. I feel numb , I don't care but I care. I just wish all this pain will go away someday.. I want to be missed by them, be cared for.. All my problems stem from me being a people-pleaser. I trusted people way too easily.. And when I found out about their bad side, I feel hurt again. It really sucks.. I envy those who can move on so easily, those who had done bad things but able to live happily.. Why can't I care less? Why I cry so easily everytime I feel angry? I'm never angry, because when I feel angry I will cry. I hate this side of me but I can't change it. Maybe it's because I'm depressed? I don't know. Thanks for reading my story, it's so long but I feel better by typing this so thank you :[
First of all, Im here to talk of you want. I have experienced some similar feelings and I know how much you hate them. It's like everyone but you is getting better, feeling that you are being ignored and making you less.
Secondly, don't hate yourself :(, everything in you is beautiful, and more important, everything on you is... Part of you. The good, the bad and the others things. It's okey to be angry, it's okey to cry, it's okey to be the one who trust easily.
You can change this things, but if you don't accept this, Ifyou don't accept a part of you... It'll be difficult to be better.
Have a nice day, you are strong, don't forget about that :D
@Theother172 Thank you for responding to my story 😔, it's so tiring I just want my peace back. I wish I could just forget about this bad experience then move on., be happy again.. your words really lighten up my sadness, thank you. I'm still learning to accept this.. I've get rid of the things that triggers my sadness but it also make me feel like I lose something. I knew it's for the better .. You too have a nice day ^^
You can't forget, but you can live with it. I have experienced some bad situation, and I hate remember them sometimes, but they are now part of me, and I use them to be the best version of myself. All the situation can lead to a teaching. I don't know what have happened to you, but the time heals everything :)
@Theother172 I agree that all situations can be a good lesson for me to be a better person ... That's why I always try to be not so sad after seeing what's triggering me,, but it leads me to feel numb instead. I really hope time will heal, it's been so long and I'm still sad about the same thing. Thank you for your kind words :")
It's good to be sad, you are not responsable about your feeling, but you are responsible about what you 'll do with them
@Theother172 it's difficult for me to be happy again because that person and I used to like the same character from a game,, I still like that character but I can't even fully like it again because I got reminded of her 🙁.. It's so triggering how she managed a successful fan page of that character on social media after hurting me
Mmmmm, I get it. I used to listen to an artist with my ex. His music always reminds me of her, but I also still listening to him. Don't let her hurting you more. You don't deserve that
@Theother172 I will try to.. thank you so much.. thanks for being here. I used to manage a fan page of that character too,, but yesterday I deleted it because I feel I need to do that to move on.. I'm still sad but at the same time I'm happy that I can finally be away from social media. Back then I was so chronically online. I'm glad I can break free from social media, maybe life is trying to tell me that nothing on online world really matters and that one day it will end. I now can do other things like my hobby, watch movie instead of managing a fanpage. I know if the fanpage is successful then it will be harder to leave that online world so.. I think that's the positive part of this experience :")
You know, all the things you tell me, make me think you are getting better. You can still be bad, but you are getting better
I know the feeling. Social media is evil. Why I left. And I do care much about others. It’s important to love yourself as you want to be loved. Some things I don’t understand why! But that’s fine. What matters is kindness. Some people are stuck on rituals and this is the way I was taught. The taught isn’t right. And I was stupid to believe. I can’t control the world but I can make them think what the world has become. A internet of war. And I am just sort of hanging out in my own way the way I want it to happen. No judgment on others.
@carefulPlace4854 thank you for hearing my story and giving your opinion 😊. I agree that kindness is what matters, sometimes life can be unfair. I never want drama, I see all people as good and kind people. But then time reveals their true colour to me, and that sucks really..
@hopefulencounter hello and nice to meet you first of all 😊 I genuinely admire the strength it took for you to open up your heart and share your feelings. I applaud you for that 🥰 I heard myself in what you were writing and I know exactly how you feel. When you are a kind snd genuine person and you trust others and they break that trust, through abuse, or bullying or cheating,it's impact is immense and quite painful and you unknowingly carry this into all relationships, because you build walls and you expect others to do the same, you don't know how to just believe in something and take people at their word, hence overthinking when they don't reply to your message for days. For me it was a continuous loop playing in my head, making me doubt myself, agreeing what the bad words people called me and making me doubt myself, always holding me back from being open and truly being me. I had to work everyday in telling myself, I was good enough, other people's bad actions do not define me and I have more than enough to offer, i have to dip into these affirmations regularly but I can tell you healing can happen and i am proof of that. Please just be you , be awesome and when you don't get a reply for a while, don't overthink it, trust yourself but always know what you deserve and expect from friendships and relationships, you should receive as much as you give and real friends want to hear our honest feelings. Have a nice day and take care 😊
@Amanda84 hii thank you for your reply, I feel understood. I will try my best to tell myself it's okay if they didnt reply or ignore me for days or even months. I knew right from the start that this online friendship wouldnt last long. And I'm aware people can change.. so. okay 😔 even if maybe they used to be good then become bad thats ok too as long as they dont bother my peace. When I got ignored I feel scared one day those people will turn their back against me . :( It's so hard to not overthink but i will try my best thank you! 🙏🧡
++ I felt so bad last month. But now I already feel like whatever idk who to trust anymore , I stressed so much to the point where I feel numb but now I feel better 😂
@hopefulencounter Its important that your feelings are validated and processed but equally don't waste/give of your wonderful talents and time to people that don't deserve it or value how great you are. Never let anyone make you second guess yourself. Have a nice evening 😊