Tis the Season to be Triggered...
Fa-la-la-la *incoherent shriek*
Yes it's that time of the year when the snow is on the ground, the streets are all a-blinkle and a-twinkle with lights and the shopkeeps are in a foaming frenzy to sell, Sell, SELL, then sell some more.
Which is all well and good except for the fact that my birthday is coming up this Saturday and bringing all sorts of fun things with it...the past for one.
Growing up we were never rich and struggled for middle class, and I watched my family fight over money and break down while pretending all was well during birthdays and holidays...someone crying was the mandatory minimum sentence.
And since the super fun isolation and confusion of covid and my own procrastination on working on myself and my inner critic who I've coined Bernadette after my large and in charge elementary school bully and one of the antagonists from a book I've read too many times, I seem to have plummeted to a brand new low of rabid comparison.
Let me explain.
In the shops a few days ago seeking skin care solutions for that which is our largest organ (Which has been declaring war on me since moving to a strange desert climate with two lakes.) and found after trying to converse with a vegan zoomer there was a shop nearby that may have gentle, moisturizing soap that doesn't instantly infuriate my epidermis.
So high nonny no off I did ho (I meant to write 'go' but 'ho' seems more fitting so it stays.) to this obviously quite fancy boutique with everything pretty much out of my price range and demographic and where either the shopkeep or some customer before me had farted the most potent of effluvia into the air.
Did I leave? Did I mention the powerful odour? No! Like the poor little bullied, weak, knobbly kneed girl that I am I let the shopkeep literally block me from leaving with their body (Why do they do that? Do they not realize that's a form of abuse?) and show me a nefarious amount of overpriced items as we both ignored the fact that we were both ignoring the fact that someone had obviously air *** their pants in this quite enclosed space, and it was battling the scents of whiskey and pine candles and other such twaddle to deleterious effect.
I buried my face in candles to try survive, my deviated septum making it all the so much more difficult to breathe, making a big to-do about how they were the best I had ever smelled (Which felt very accurate at that time to be honest.) and then finally made it out the door into the crisp evening air by telling them I would be back on my birthday for many items, gulping in as many deep breaths as I could without appearing obvious.
Why do we try so hard to make others comfortable in hopes they might care when they haven't earned a single bit of our loyalty? I had no relationship to this gaseous shop or others in my life but why couldn't I hold a boundary or even crack a joke (poor choice of words.) around the smelly situation? I'm battling poverty with counselling, meditation and more support groups than one could shake a stick at for years now yet there I was and here I am.
I'm doing a gratitude challenge...have posted it on here if anyone else wants to try it - writing ten things one is grateful for and why, then repeating it aloud along with three thank you's at the end of each one. And the last few days of doing this particular new challenge has me basically convinced gratitude is impossible even though I've been doing gratitude work for almost a decade and sometimes can feel so much love and gratitude for things in my life.
I think it's because one forgets that the negative is supposed to feel more intense than the positive because it's so important for the negative to be noticeable as a warning; If a siren was an ice cream truck tinkly song it may not be as powerful (For me it would be but I just freakin love ice cream.). And then that warning overpowers one's will to believe they are capable and successful and happy, healthy and wealthy.
I'm listening to Rhonda Burn and How you can Change your Life with Positive Thoughts on the Fearn Cotton Happy Place YouTube channel and trying to not roll my eyes into oblivion at the same old same old 'do what makes you happy to keep yourself safe and don't focus on the negative' but also intrigued by her comments on how our negative thoughts have been building since childhood and that something terrifying will be created to try release it, like a fever appears to burn off the bug.
So it makes more sense now perhaps why there's been such a focus on the inner child and forgiveness lately and talk about the ego, with the mind as an experience of being an individual in a material world and having it's place while also not identifying with that to the point of losing the self, or self destructive behaviour.
Here's where I want to roll my eyes because it's all so much more *** easier said than done, and progress seems so slow as to be unable to keep up with the exponential growth of negativity.
Ultimately the belief that a positive thought is 1000 times stronger than a negative one is my challenge and probably that of many others, especially this time of year...I literally have been seeing a sign into town that says 'Tis the season to be shopping' and to detach from this mentality and be aware of the difference between material and non-material experiences is the most important thing we can remain aware of and cultivating an awareness of.
@Dallady Omg. I'm so sorry but I laughed. Reading this I can totally feel your discomfort and desire to run screaming from the shop and down the streets.
Reading farther on I'm nodding my head and agreeing with everything you said.
Positive thoughts might be a 1000 times stronger then the negative ones but it also takes more positive thoughts to cancel out the negative. That's where my struggle comes in. Finding that many positive ones 😕
I hope you don't mind my saying that you write wonderfully!
@mytwistedsoul
Yes...why is keeping up with those negative thoughts so impossible? It's the same as trying to herd 100 feral cats. Thank god for ice cream is all I'm gonna say! Yeesh
@mytwistedsoul
And am still not adept at taking compliments - at baby trying to run an empire level of competence - but deep down I do appreciate the kind words; *grimaces in the parody of a smile and croaks out a decrepit thank-you*
@mytwistedsoul
Well said you beautiful soul! *high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo *hugs* ❤️ Aww Gizmo thank you! I love seeing you around! 😊 *high fives* Stay awesome!
@Dallady
Happy Birthday, Dallady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@kingburger23, @iampapaya, @neonblueberry, @violetwater,@hounddog2021, @judescowflaw, @wooof, @ anyone I missed!!!!!!!
@benitta
@PatienceImpatiens
@recliningfate
@BenittaJ @neonBlueberry1843 ❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
*fist bumps* Spidey twin. I saw that! hehe *high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo *fist bumps* Ofcourse you did, it's a you thing, Spidey Twin. ❤ *high fives* and *hugs back* 🤗
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
❤️❤️❤️
Happy birthday, Dallady! May you receive what you truly need!
@Dallady
Hi Dallady! 😊❤️ Thank you for your amazing forum post! Hey now, not sure if your intention was to make me laugh myself silly, but oh you did it my friend! Well done! 😊 I even had to be like "Giz, stop, breath, stop laughing.....and then continue reading".
I'm confident you know I am not laughing at your pain, not laughing at anyone's problems as we all experience them, that's for sure! For me, this is a big Wow moment to sit and appreciate someones writing style, delivery, word usage, etc and in this particular way here on 7 cups!
I have to hand it to you, you are amazing. You are a remarkable word smith! Your forum post to me was a true work of art! Your sense of humor is firmly intact and your funny bone is not broken! I loved your timing, comic relief and the "call backs" to previous comments. In all my years on this site, this is one of the very best forum posts I have ever read!
I love how you relied on humor and many times it's a great way to pull your audience in, keep them entertained as well as engaged and attentive to truly understand your meaning and read everything you said right to the very end. Oh it worked! The only thing that made me sad about this forum post is that it didn't go on more......for longer.............for like days!!!!!
Smh. Gotta' say, you are brilliant! For me, I just so happen to be one of those highly positive people. My promise to you Dallady is that I have those gratitude moments at the end of every day and that you will be counted as one of them!
I also understand the content. For a time of year that should be such a joyous occasion, it can be so incredibly stressful and or sad for some. We're all rushing around trying to make things Merry and Bright for others while there are moments where others, as you said, stand in our way (even literally), make us feel uncomfortable or flat out poot in our faces, lol😊 Trying to sell us over priced goods that we don't need or don't want but they know they kind of gotcha' because other options might be sold out. I have called it in years prior a case of the Christmas *** or Christmas crap in things that must be dealt with. *sighs* (still call it that from time to time but that will be our little secret 😊 ).
I try to counteract so much of it by doing the slow and steady wins the race. I even start my Christmas shopping in August (even sometimes before that) because I know I can get good deals by starting early, being patient, keeping lists of what I have purchased and what I'm still looking for and storing it away. I put up my tree the day after Halloween (shocking 😳) to get a jump on things in hopes that my house will be totally decorated, the tree's decorated and gifts wrapped under the tree (at least some of them) by the time Thanksgiving dinner get's put on the table.
It really is my effort to eventually get the time and space to remember the reason for the season. To get some of the stress over and done with even though it is a labor of love for others and maybe just relax and enjoy and focus on being grateful instead of stressed out closer to Christmas time. Want to make God laugh? Make a plan, hahahaha!
Oh, I got a little piece of Christmas joy today by having to pay for overpriced wrapping paper because I was caught not keeping up with my "stash" of Christmas cheer. How did I miss that one? I sure did and I'm not having that ugly wrapping paper under my tree! I got standards darn it! I'm like, whatever. I'm so Polly Anna about some things. I'm like, what a great problem to have, gifts to wrap, lol! I'm like fine, what evs........I will be utilizing the power of the great Amazon today. Over priced but exactly what I wanted and in the quantity that I needed. Thank you Jeff, have a happy day! Polly Anna saved so much money on buying gifts early that I'll *take the hit Jeff*. Pleasure doing business with ya' 😊
I must say, *high fives*! Wooooo hooooo you get extra points for getting the farts in your face now done and over with early too! lol Well, at least hopefully most of them. I join you my friend! I am one of your *tribe* I too will just go stick my face in a candle, breath deeply and hope for the best! I'm sure that I have many more of those coming my way.
I wonder if you have ever considered writing, professionally? You got my vote! Thank you again for your post, for sharing of yourself and bringing me so much joy in laughter today! I send you *high fives* 😊 and big big *hugs* ❤️ you amazing human being!
Happy Birthday! I hope your birthday is fantastic and filled with mirth! 😊❤️😊
@SparkyGizmo
Thanks for your comment!
So true about embracing the inner tortoise rather than the hare.
It's challenging as it can seem like a never-ending maze one is supposed to navigate not only blindfolded and backwards but without a wand to just bobbity boo one's way outta there.
And it becomes even more complicated as all the information appears so accessible as the status quo demands we all have wifi and a phone or other such basics which means "there's no excuse" when that's not the point...and the status quo refuses to acknowledge that...the difference between an excuse and a reason.
Also, yes - I have considered professionally writing actually...my English teacher took me aside one day after reading my work often to the class throughout the year and said they would help me publish my work. Yet peer and social pressure and the chicken cat *** storm had me saying no.
In my 20's I tried to gain some sense of myself and had a small poem published, and won an award for it even, but the goal to take it to the next level seems to be a practice in eternal suffering hahah *curls up on the floor and dies*.
Although I have started a blog and posted some of my writings there in the last week, which no one has yet read and which I'm somewhat glad they haven't...my ability to be audacious, odd and consistent is countered pretty heavily with my fears and doubts.
I'm not an extrovert. I would not enjoy any semblance of great attention or fame. In fact I would go down the tragic-died-so-young-destroyed-by-fame-lifetime-movie so hard and fast that it would make an eight second bull ride in the ring seem like the most bucolic of picnics in the park.
I find sharing even a bit of my writing and self in that medium to be exhausting because as soon as the gauntlet is thrown, the expectations grow. So I can't imagine the heinous mess I would become with "great success". In fact I probably would simply, immediately explode.
Ultimately, finding contentment, that ephemeral moment where desire and gratitude collide, and nurturing it like it's a garden with the greenest big-friendly-giant of thumbs, honoring not just my body but my mind, both in all their glory and flaws, seems to right now rely heavily on a sense of humour and becoming extremely familiar, forgiving and exploring my inner hare and tortoise indeed. And coffee and ice cream.
@Dallady
Thank you for responding! I loved hearing your thoughts! 😊❤️ For me, hearing what it is that you have to say, is in fact a privilege, in my opinion. Not only do I enjoy your writing style but I enjoy the way that you think and how you see the world. I enjoy the ways in which you express that.
Thank you for validating me and my thoughts and letting me know that indeed, I was spot on with seeing some fantastic writing in front of me! I'm glad I am not alone and that others in this world have noticed your talent and have good taste as well! I give them some big ole' *high fives* 😊 too!
I hear you. I can understand the concepts of peer as well as social pressure. I can also understand what you mean by not wanting a claim to fame. I imagine many don't think of the implications of what would happen if they became famous for whatever reason. I guess once you achieve, put yourself out there, then it can take on a life of it's own and perhaps no longer having a life of ones own.
I am someone that has empathy for celebrities, the great minds and creators, etc. Once you get out there in the public eye, it would be impossible to *hit the rewind button*. No "take backsies" lol, at that point. The stress of being in the public eye, the stress of having to maintain a certain life style caused by wealth, needing security and living in a heavily gated community would be monumental. It would be difficult, I guess, to live your life under a microscope, always feeling as if you were simply some sample in a petri dish for others to look at, judge and take your inventory. There is much to be said for people just wanting to remain anonymous, live a happy and fulfilling life to the best of their abilities and not having to always be creating bigger and better things to out do their last greatest victory.
I also feel and hear a bit of what I call "the tears of a clown". I know what you mean. I get the whole introvert concept also. It's definitely interesting to walk through life being perceived as an extrovert while truly being largely introverted at heart. I am 61 % introverted based on a personality test while the real world perceives me as being extroverted as well as being perceived as extroverted here on 7 cups. I'm a thinker as well as a feeler and my highly empathic nature does take over with interacting with others, caring about them and their feelings, doing what I should do, rising to the occasion, etc. Interesting balance, that's for sure.
By the way, again, additional points awarded.........hahahaa, it's a great moment to see someone use the word "gauntlet" around here. First I've ever seen that word written on 7 cups other than me. Nice! 😊❤️
Hoping for you a very happy Saturday! *high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
Oh my gosh; reading over your post again and screenshot the positive phenomenal feedback because holy I needed that today. 🙏🏼 🙏🏼 🙏🏼
And had a good laugh over 'the christmas ***'...Yes, I did seem to have quite literally experienced that so hopefully that's all over - except with life making any sort of statements like that seems to ignite karmic retribution of the greatest lessons in humility: As you said if one wants to make God laugh make a plan, and well, I may try make a plan anyway as a guide and be open to receiving whatever else happens along the way....
Apparently there's an old (Disney?) movie called Pollyanna I believe...I want to watch it because it's all about downshifting gears to a more grounded and substantial being, and might help my flailing about in fear and doubt, and I think I want to stap ALL criticism.
Ultimately no one taught me about this, how to transition from a human doing to a human being so now my fridge has that task.*
*
@Dallady
Hi Dallady! 😊❤️ Happy Monday my friend! Weeeeeeeeee weeeeeeee! 😊
I'm glad you took a screen shot of my positive affirmations! Might I say, you truly earned every single one of them. *high fives* 😊 I'm glad you have saved my words and I'm hoping they will be a source of comfort in the future. Who knows, perhaps even a source of confidence, inspiration? What ever my words have brought to you and may bring in the future, I'm glad I took the moment to say them! I truly am one of those kind of people that if you have something nice to say, say it now as I know that tomorrow is promised to none of us.
"Karmic lessons in humility". You really got my wheels turning in thinking about Karma as well as humility. As for humility, I'd like to think I have a humble nature.
I feel as if life, in and of itself, has made that happen and comes quite easily for me. I think of what is called "service leadership" and I see that as the inverted triangle. The true leader is always at the bottom and is never at the top. This can be a difficult concept for some to grasp. I am someone that comes from what might be called "humble beginnings" anyway. Yes, that ole' life kind of "thang". Mmmmm....hmmm. Sometimes having hard ships can really make you think long and hard about the struggles of others as well. I really enjoy how our founder, Glen, phrased it in calling us all here on 7 cups as the "wounded healers". Gosh, brilliant, just brilliant and really makes you think. Yes, stay humble, remember your roots, remember the personal hard ships because others have them also.
You want to see some humble? Go pick up dog poop behind your beloved pet. You want to see humble? Go change a diaper. If you are a thinker as well as a feeler these activities will truly resonate. You realize that we all put our pants on the very same way....one leg at a time. I am no better than anyone and in fact....ahhhhhh back to the inverted triangle concept. Smh. In fact it is "he or she, who wears the diaper rules" (yes, this is what is called a Gizzie-ism around here, direct quote from yours truly)! 😊 I find it amusing how some people think they are in control, that they are the boss. Nope, not really. You can't control or be the big boss of much of anything. A dog needing to go outside, right now, and changes all of your plans will teach you that, lest they poop on your floor as well as a child needing you in any capacity. Nope, I'm never the boss of anything or anyone. Humble bumble is me. 😊❤️
Karma 😳 Well, Karma certainly does know everyone's address it seems. I do believe that there are times when bad things happen to good people. I also believe in good Karma. Keep your head down, keep your nose clean, be kind, do your personal best and maybe it will come back to you and in a good way if you don't expect it, look for it. No one ever deposited the "truth scrolls" with me so I'm not really sure. But I remain hopeful.
Will add more to this in a moment..........
@Dallady
continuing.........Glad you are open to making a plan as a guide and simply seeing how it goes. Glad you are open to receiving what might come your way. Another Gizzie-ism for you....."If you do not believe then you do not receive" lol. Much to be said about positive energy and remaining hopeful. ❤️ It can only help. 😊 In addition to that, my understanding is that successful people always have plan but they always have a plan B also! "Many a slip between a cup and a lip".
Kind of folds into the concept of luck. I simply see luck as where preparation meets opportunity. There is a component of us creating, at least partially our own luck.
Yep! You are spot on about the "Pollyana" movie. I haven't seen it in it's entirety either. Just a snippet now and again but I'm hoping I understood the meaning and the moral of the story.
I know you speak of "fear and doubt". I can't imagine a person under the sun not having those. I have those too. Maybe we just experience those emotions, feelings, thoughts in different ways and about different things. Ever looked up what is called the "Imposter Syndrome"? It can be an interesting read. Sometimes fear and doubt doesn't work in our favor. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies, stand in our own way and be our own worst critic. Self awareness is cool as well as what is called "meta cognition" which is thinking about, what it is that we are thinking about. 😊
I hear you to when you say "no one taught me...human doing to human being". You are a human being daymuttt.! and I send you big *hugs* ❤️ You are good enough, fast enough, strong enough, smart enough and you can sit in peace knowing that with out anyone requiring anything of you. Don't let others have expectations of you. Make your own expectations of yourself because you have only one life to live.
Lastly, I guess the universe works in mysterious ways. I enjoyed the pic of the owl that you included. When the universe speaks....I listen! I was even involved in a conversation yesterday in regard to owls so seeing that was a beautiful moment that the universe is showing up for me.
*high fives* 😊 and *big *hugs* ❤️
@Dallady
I believe negative energy and positive energy are niether bad or good, niether right or wrong.
Negative and Positive energies DO have the power to make us feel bad or good, or right and wrong.
Negative energy is cheap, easy and plentiful but very weak and impotent on it's own. But in abunance it is a very destructive force. And sadly it is in abundance because it is so cheap, plentiful and easy to obtain and spread it to others to spread also.
Positive energy is powerful, precious and extremely valuable but very hard to aquire and hang onto. Positive energy in small bits can destroy mountains of negative energy. Positive energy is not easy to obtain. It takes a world of hard work to get a store of positive energy. After working very hard to get it, it is important to share it and give it away to others that cannot farm thier own at the moment.
Positve Energy is a million times more powerful than Negative Energy. It's up to us keep working hard to squash the abundance of negative energy by never giving up on our ourselves or those in need.
P.S. I loved your story and story telling. Thanks for sharing and Have a great weekend.
@IsayUncle
As a highly positive person, one that see's the value in that, knows that it's a mindset, I enjoyed reading your thoughts!
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
Thx, we are in this together. 
Have an awesome day!
@IsayUncle
❤️❤️❤️
@Dallady
":|
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