The hypothetical equivalent to a journal from the old journal section
There are various things I can say and believe it or not I'm going to try to not be too remorseful for an unceremonius first entry
It'd make a lot of sense and be cool to see Fire emblem characters in Nintendo exclusives of Soulcalibur stuff rather than only the Smash series.
Morbidly amusing how understanding the range of Marth’s reactions here means investing yourself in Fire emblem lore to understand where incest might be going on: https://youtu.be/8x-8GImUmaU
While I’m gracious to say how I’ve never qualifiably had such experiences beyond a certain ‘ toddler age precocious experience’ , I do regret how when it comes to stuff which went out with the deletion and overhaul of old community college course stuff, their was a part in an anthropology class I took where the instructor actually spent most of the class explaining anthropological takes on the seeming near universal incest taboo which I really wish I had.. ._. b/c access to old notes on hand is less likely to lead to as much of a distraction riddled rabbit hole dive as say a google lookup, not that I’m not fond of Wikipedia or tvtropes for that matter as a starting point.
Considering Murdoc's cultist like antics, I could see a Gorillaz and Hellboy crossover in comic books and think the virtual band wouldn't be too at odds with the typical Mike Mignola like style ; personally I remember hearing news of the character cross-overing with the anti-supernatural patrol group of dogs from Beasts of burden (I liked that series). I wonder how that went ?.
How I proceed with life unpunished somehow with my living space going to ruin and presumably not being too screwed over at work after a long but ‘unenthusiastic’ exposure to pornography is beyond me..
I think to myself how long I would make it into a date before the person would be weirded out or off-put by mention of not being able to drive or functional friendlessness/preferred asociality.
We all know what to do after struggling ceases but few are allowed to go beyond the typically despairing kinds of monotony.
My brother might overwhelm me with gifts I feel unworthy for from his trips whence I visit next.
__
Alternative Title(s): Darkness Induced Audience Apathy, So Bleak Its Boring, Too Dark To Digest
Too Bleak, Stopped Caring - TV Tropes
"People always say they want things dark, but if you don't have a plan to draw people out of that and show how these people overcome it, then you just leave your audience in despair."
That I didn't climax nor tried to while binging on pornography with much the same mood makes a difference to me.
The discouragements of being kept busy by what banalities of adulting I've to attend to are such that I'm discouraged from the old thought of applying to have a garden plot in a community garden area somewhere.
Does anyone else ever think about when is it better to treat an addiction more as a self-harm issue than an impulse control one ?.
Watching Bennet White's video essay on Death note, rain continues outside with lightning..the emotional places where post-fixation paranoia directs you're entertaining of representational states of thought without committing to their truth value* can take you.
`_`
*imagination as the normies call it
And we wonder how come asexual orientations or proclivities can't really abide in a world full of constructs so f---g painful for the natural selection it wants to see
Proper counseling appointment privilege, early Wednesday. Opting for a break week before the symbolic for me May 10th date.
Gj: realizing , -Gj:..
"Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there--I always suspected that I was actually it's the way things happen in life that's unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it's like watching television--you don't feel anything. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television. The channels switch, but it's all television."-Andy Warhol
...-_-...
now need to apply super glue to the wireless blue headphones and not only the older and more used one.
gj: this has been a meaningful week, I got through a particularly strenuous work chore before my shift ended and new lockers are actually expected
-gj: Hate watched the red band trailer for 'No hard feelings'.
Also uncomfortable dolt who bumped into me before I got off the bus ,w/them proceeding to the front and arguing with someone about not exiting than and there and continuing an argument about going to a party. Bandaged hand makes me think they'd be in no position for acting on aggression beyond cliche inner city chest-puffing antics.
What precious memory of karaoke remains with me, taught me how my (untrained, underdeveloped) breathy, inflection lacking voice might make me suited for songs which I can imagine Billy Joe Armstrong doing even outside of Green day or old 80's British New Wave stuff of a more synthpop persuasion (so no Simon Le Bon and Duran Duran all that much).
7661736563746f6d79*
Having at least made an account and browsed on a fairly popular dating website before making it inactive (but not deleting the account), the limits of ppl present nearby made me think sharply to my chagrin I think to myself how much of ppl being local to you are even present on a dating site is dependent so much on what choice they make for picking a platform which others are hypothetically aware of as well.
Which painfully makes it seem that it is all the more likely that the markedly nsfw kind or niche kind (in terms of interest --say a hobby or in my case ones highlighting for autistics or neurodivergents) are going to be fairly scammy.
=_= I swear it ought to be taught as part of good internet ettiquette to always deleting a dating account less a 1 and a 1/2 after you know you're no longer engaged.
In case of not clicking with anyone, I'm glad I'm more the sort now who has plans
There's a curious trend when it comes to maternal side family members of opting to make your middle name your more commonly used name. Two of my aunts, maybe one of my uncles and (unintentionally and to her chagrin) my own mother -- it's happened to them.
You know when I fantasize on how I could done things differently and thrive differently if I'd known and believed the things I do now as a prepubescent (not only about the nature and presence of kyriarchies and late capitalism but how my experiences are valid and everyone's experience is valid..the intrapersonally significant stuff) it goes with the conviction that my younger self would take heed and follow through.
** If I was emotionally misguided and underdeveloped as I was at 12 and put into a 7th grade class again with just an much lack of enlightenment as the last time, I sigh and cringe to think how screwed over I'd be by bullying and that shlock again even if there might be an advantageous wildcard element of internet social expression being a far sharper and relevant tool than it was back in ~'04 for my fiercely introverted hide to use. **
** `_` this part I say to better put myself in the shoes of today's contemporary tween and younger crowds ** "to remind myself that"--In the end ;I , Linkin park
since my repulsion at having to undergo the same f--g vulnerabilities and insecurities all over again with that same kind of developmental ignorance is such that the imaginings which I let myself be carried away with will almost not 'look over it's shoulder' to see and think on how a less developmentally based ignorance diminished variant of myself would fare.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArasEbdRi3o&pp=ygUfamogbWNjdWxsb3VnaCBkb250IGJlIGxpa2UgamFjaw%3D%3D
6:48-
bueno
que son ninos
7:18+
8:01-8:17
8:17+
que necesita estan con los que son un poco mayor
|| 10:28+ los mayores interesan en los jovenes
~11:22 befriend and mentor\\12:30+
[este fue mi parte favorita]
11:55+
8:48+
simbolismo falso
9:24+
fallado por la cultura
9:58+
nino cerca por los trens
In being honest to my about possibly coming off as attractive to woman, I've considered this..
would a female Hispanic swimsuit Instagramer model type really choose me over someone who at least looks like something of a male equivalent, a Caucasian male equivalent, solely since we have an overlapping background and language abilities ?.
Don't judge others for hypergamy, please. It's almost pointless.
The weather could be better if more mild but as of right now I 'like the vibe', the levels of light most esp. I've got going on here with my laptop on a mini table while I'm sitting on my couch but the level of light even at this time of day is sso pleasant.
Photography is painting with light in one sense. Maybe the whole 'clocks 1 hour ahead' thing which occurred over the weekend helped for this to happen.
My brother saying 'go to Japan..it'll change you life' he did coming back from a trip spent in part in Tokyo, upset me in a sense as I don't think he understands or accepts how mainly unfond I am of travelling. I am thankful for what gifts he gave me and hearing me out on my speculation regarding apartment residents.
Work was great as I got through a box of chores.
-Gj: not having exercised as I would've desired, my blender still being bunk , Gj: having had a richly meaningful day to the start of my week
Why do some of the most important things which could be said to you have to come from ppl with such unpleasant demeanours ?. I don't only mean family but also functional strangers (which can include teachers imo).
https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/11vxwa9/meirl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1 and it p.o.’s me to no avail that ‘speaking of it as it the 60’s being spoken of during the 90’s’ will apply to the surviving ridicule-some a—holes remembering me in pre-Obama era terms once were deep into the 2030’s -_- >_< =_=
Gj: the freedom to not go into excruciating detail as to what made this week great
-Gj: the heavier parts of this week the freedom to not go into excruciating detail regarding that