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School + self harm + family issues + religion

life4all November 9th

school: in our system we have 2 years of kindergarten 6 of elementary stage 3 of preparatory 3 pf secondary then college (4 years or more). I’m in the first year of preparatory, it is a new important stage but its marks isn't as important as secondary’s. But i’ve set my mind to being from the top 10. Now i have a weird obsession over full marks, in my eyes, full mark = pass, losing even 0.25 mark(s) or more = failure

im so scared of losing marks but I'm not that used to studying. I didn't care a bit about marks those past years. So this is a sudden big shift. Last years, i’ve had severe depression and anxiety attacks and panic attacks and sleeping disorders and a very bad relationship with food, my health was on the ground and i was always dizzy and tired, all day everyday.

now im a month and about 3 weeks in school (first term). Im so scared all of the time. When I'm in class I'm either thinking of (this is a waste of time, i want to study so bad) or (ik ur very tired but please focus, this might come in the exam)

i’ve done everything to make all the teachers love me ( i want to be on top ) and i’ve tried to take care of every small aspect not to lose marks. I did lose marks tho, yesterday i got a sharp object and continued cutting cuts in my hand, I already have scars there. I need to hide those cuts from my family and friends too. And in my religion its haram (forbidden) to do self harm. Basically i cant do this cuz of so many reasons.

i might with my mom almost daily and sometimes fight with my sisters or friends. I’ve been on my last nerve and always on gaurd. I get angry so easily nowadays. I could cry over nothing. Im always scared, no terrified.

last year i was able to overcome my depression and anxiety and self harm, but it was *** hard, took me 3 years to be able to overcome it alone (started 3 years ago and so took me 3 years)

i gave up so many things for it and now its all coming back.

i want to go to a therapist or get professional help but i cant.

idk what to do. I cant talk to my friends or family about this.

i came here to find help.

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peacefulpurple08 November 9th

Hey, I think you had asked me for a name you could call me.

You can honestly call me Peaceful or Purple, another option is my real name, Mariana.

I'm sorry for not responding earlier and also sorry for saying this here, just wanted to reply before I forgot. 

It would be nice to know if you have a name you'd like to be called as well. 

2 replies
life4all OP November 9th

You’re so sweet rly.

either call me life, rose or as i prefer, inery

many people dont prefer that name but i like it.

i tried to give u options like how u did.

also ty for replying to my question

1 reply
peacefulpurple08 November 9th

@life4all

Of course, inery!

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easyTortoise8381 November 9th

Hi there, I'm new here too but your post resonated with me. I'm sorry you are going through this but you can overcome it. You said you're religious so does prayer help with these things?


I'm religious too and when I'm trying to overcome things I get anxiety and sadden and anger too. It's okay to cry I believe. I cry and pray about it and this helps me.


I hope you have a good day. I haven't self harmed but I have a family member who does and he has good days and bad days. I think professional help would really be good for him.


Are you not able to get professional help because of your family knowing?


Take care. I will be thinking about you. I wish you a peaceful day.

1 reply
life4all OP November 9th

They wont even let me have professional help even if they knew..

thanks for ur words and response btw

I hope u have a peaceful good day as well

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pluckyCucumber1209 November 9th

Hey there! I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. This sounds like an overwhelming situation to be in. Please know that you’re not alone. There are so many people who have been through something similar. I’m so proud of you for trying your best to grow as a person.


I’m sorry to hear that you can’t get therapy at this point in time. How about a self help book instead? The Mindful Self Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff is super helpful. It has helped me deal with a lot of my problems and I think you’ll find it super helpful as well.

1 reply
life4all OP November 9th

Thank you so much for this suggestion.

it might really help and so do i wish for it to

your reply means a lot to me

i hope u have a wonderful day

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Mani1307 November 9th

Hello


1 reply
life4all OP November 9th

Hi🤍

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Mani1307 November 9th

🤗 hrllo


Tulipsmile November 9th

@life4all

Hello 🌷

I'm really sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad you reached out for support. It sounds like you're facing a lot of intense emotions and pressure right now, and trying to balance that with your academic goals. It’s clear that you’re working hard to do your best, but this level of pressure seems to be overwhelming you, which can make everything feel so much heavier.


First of all, please know that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to seek help, even if it's hard to do so. You're doing your best to cope with a lot, and it's important to recognize that you don’t have to handle everything on your own.

Maybe few point to consider:

*The Pressure of Perfection: It's understandable that you want to perform at your best, but remember that full marks or perfection doesn’t define your worth or your success. Learning and growth happen through progress, not always through perfection. Try to shift the focus from avoiding mistakes at all costs to understanding and improving. You're allowed to make mistakes without it meaning you're failing.

• Mental Health Struggles: The fear, anxiety, and anger you're feeling could be signs of stress overload. Even though you're not actively struggling with depression or self-harm right now, the emotional weight of everything you’re going through is building up. This can make the anxiety feel even worse. It’s important to address these feelings instead of pushing them down, because they’re valid and need attention.


•Self-Harm and Coping: I understand you’re feeling like the pressure is too much and you’ve turned to cutting in response. This is a dangerous form of coping, and while it might offer short-term relief, it doesn’t address the underlying issues. The fact that you're aware of it and that it's going against your values is really important. If you can, try reaching out to a helpline, a counselor, or an anonymous online support service — sometimes it can help just to talk with someone who understands, especially if you feel unable to speak with friends or family. You can also try grounding techniques or using physical objects like a stress ball or something that gives you a release without harming yourself.


• Family and Friends: I know it feels like you can't talk to anyone about this, but they may be more supportive than you expect. If not your family, maybe a trusted adult, , or a counselor at school could be a safe outlet. They might be able to direct you toward resources and help you find someone to talk to. You don’t have to face everything alone, even if it feels like you do.(someone you trust)

•Small Wins and Progress: It might sound cliche, but the idea of taking things step by step is so important. Break everything down into small tasks and focus on just one thing at a time. You don’t have to fix everything all at once. Celebrate small wins, even if it’s just getting through a day without feeling overwhelmed.


•Create Space for Your Feelings: It sounds like you're stuck between the anxiety of schoolwork and a lot of emotional turmoil. It’s okay to take a break, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Do something that calms you, like taking deep breaths, listening to music, or journaling. Sometimes just allowing yourself a moment to pause and reset can make a huge difference.

Maybe you can try :

- Write down your thoughts: When you feel like you’re going to explode or break down, write it all down. It might not fix everything, but it helps create a space to vent your emotions safely. Something like journaling 

- Focus on small, achievable goals: Instead of focusing on being the absolute best or getting full marks in everything, set small, achievable goals. This can help you build confidence.

- Try mindfulness or relaxation exercises: Even a few minutes of focused breathing, mindfulness, or stretching can help lower anxiety levels.

Reach out for  support Even if it seems hard but maybe support groups could also be options if you  feel   comfortable so you can vent .


🌷I know you're under a lot of pressure, but it's okay to feel vulnerable and ask for help. You’ve already made a huge step by acknowledging how you’re feeling and reaching out for support. You’re not alone, and hope things can get better.🌷🌷🌷🌷

7 replies
life4all OP November 9th

I cant express how this message left me, and to know that ur muslim just like me.

even tho i cant do a lot of the things which u suggested, its just a me thing, every word u said was valid.

i’d love to send u a message and get to know u better but i cant

is that because im under the teen category?

6 replies
Tulipsmile November 9th

@life4all

I am really glad to hear that. I hope you feel good and find peace and I will pray for you.

Yeah teen side is different so that's why !

But we can talk through comments if you feel comfortable and want to vent 🌷

I am here for you 

5 replies
life4all OP November 14th

Btw what does vent mean?

4 replies
peacefulpurple08 November 14th

@life4all vent means to express your feelings openly. Basically, you talk all about how you feel. 

1 reply
life4all OP November 15th

Ty for the explanation

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Tulipsmile November 14th

@life4all

Hello inery 🌷

Ohh vent have alot of meanings but since we are here in 7cups we mean by talking about what you want and to let the  heavy feelings maybe that makes you feel depressed sometimes 

1 reply
life4all OP November 15th

thanks for the explanation

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