Letters to people

Sending hugs and pizza! @Keith22534 ❤

@Keith22534 I love this idea and I hope this helps you.

Life is somehow going okish. I mean, I’m getting time to read and study but man, studying is hard.

i cant stop missing and thinking about jin! the astronaut is playing in my head and i have maths Olympiad tomorrow. i just cant stop the urge to cry but i can't cry. the tears wont fall. once in my life now, i do want to cry. i do want to feel pain. and i'm missing a man who is like 18 years older than me and doesnt know i exist but somehow that man made me love myself and missing him is so much...

I cried again tonight. This year has been a roller coaster. I saw new things. Some so painful, I cried. Some so beautiful, I laughed AND cried. This year was eye opening. I never thought that I could connect to fictional characters more than I could ever connect to myself or irl people. But I learnt things. A lot of them. World is cruel. Every one is an enemy in someone else’s story. Love is complicated as *** and I want it. Got it. But couldn’t feel it.

wow- i just cried my eyes out in front of my younger sister and she was so confused. i guess it was a mood swing. i just dont belong anywhere. i'm worthless. i cant sing well. i literally studied music for *** 3 years. i cant dance well. i did kathak for 4 years. i'm a failure. i aint even beautiful. 

Why do I have t act fine all the time? Why do I have to say taht I am ok? Why do I say taht I’m not ok and hen they ask why and I can’t explain it? Why do I have to express it in my brain and then forget it. Why can’t I write like others do? Why can’t I do stuff like others do.? I maybe good at studies but I can’t do it anymore.

You gave me the best of me.
So you'll give you the best of you.

Dear Runi, 

I would say that I’m angry with you but that’s an understatement. I miss you so much. You promised me that you would wait until I was 16. You wanted to hear about my first time driving. You wanted to hear about my first boyfriend, my first party, my first time sneaking out and my first time getting caught. So why did you leave me so early? I love you. I love you so much and whenever you confided in me about the horrors that you experienced in life, I hope you know just how much I cared. I hope you finally found the happiness that was taken from you when you were a child. I hope that your mother, step father, and abuser rot in *** for what they did to you. But mostly, I hope that I can forgive you and learn to cope with what you did. Because there is no way that I could ever forget you. My big brother from another mother. I miss you