I wish I wasn't so afraid of dying.

@ADX98927 the world can feel cruel at times. It's true. People hurt each other so easily. But there are also resources that help us heal. I feel without heartbreak we won't understand love. I'd suggest thinking over all the good things you've seen and known and maybe you'll develop a more balanced picture of life in this world.

Hello @ADX98927 - I can see how the fear of death can be a scary experience, I have gone through this same thing myself so I can definitely empathize with you and I am truly sorry that you are going through this. When I get these anxious feelings I try to go outside and take a look at the good and beautiful things out in the World. For instance just picking out shapes in the clouds in the morning, or looking up at the stars at night. Or perhaps watching the birds or the butterflies flutter about. So while there is a lot of bad in the World especially today, there's also still some good out there.

If you ever need someone to talk to you can feel free to reach out to me and I will try my best to listen.

Hey @ADX98927, did something recently happen in your life or is it something ongoing?

I've had this thought one too many times, especially in the past living with my dysfunctional parents several decades back... However, a couple months ago, i was feeling at my lowest ... It's been a traumatic year for me, especially having to go through physical, verbal, & financial abuse from my (formerly alcoholic) ex for 3yrs of our relationship. Then our child was taken from BOTH of us, and placed into care of my ex's greedy/negligent sister. I cried every night, missing my son, unsure if he'll come back to me. I only got 1 visitation a week, until it became two and so on. But it took MONTHS for it to go up...

My son did eventually come back permanently about 2 months ago but...I still have court to attend and dealing with CPS and sons lawyers wanting to prevent reunion and ex's terrible sister[whom he doesn't even get along with].

Anyways, I used to walk alone at night, to trails or parks...My life almost flashed before my eyes. There's a wild animal that is native to this particular area I live in -- and they're ESPECIALLY agressive when their young is with them.

I thought I was going to d!e that night, and I didn't want to...I want to watch my son grow up. I want to eat food i haven't tried yet. I want to travel to places I've never been before. I want to experience what unconditional love feels like from a romantic sense [as i know my son loves me]. I want to just ... Experience everything life has to offer before I kick the bucket.

Sure, there are evil people in the world, and I've met a few of them... But I have also met many kind souls. When I was going hungry/close to homelessness, my friends offered me food. They didn't know about my situation at the time, but it brought me to tears. I've also had kind strangers offer me rides after my car was repossessed, and i walk many MANY miles to get back home...I even had a junk car i bought overheat and my son was burning up in the AC-less car, and this wonderful women offered us water and comfort as the car was cooling off so I can drive back home safely. I had my older brother at the time come get my son, so he doesn't get stuck in the junk car with me. Lastly I FINALLY found a job that appreciates me and my work, i get thanked nearly everyday. I feel like my shitty life has finally turnt around.

It's not 100% great but it's not 100% bad either...

Anyways, I wish you luck. If you'd like to talk about your situation, I'm all ears to listen. If you'd rather not disclose in great detail or at all, that is fine too. Whatever you are most comfortable with.

Please take care!

I wish I was

The view of the world that is beautiful or cruel depends on our focus. If you believe the world is cruel you are attached to your past experiences. This world exists within a fluctuation of a system of balances. There is cruelty because there is cruelty because there is compassion. There is greed because of the fear of lacking. Your focus is on cruelty, this is why you see the world as cruel. The world is full of people who are all capable of doing wonderful and horrible things, all that happens is a symptom of a harmonious nature. There are those who suffer sorrow and those that can cheer them up. Where there is cruelty there is compassion, if an animal is neglected and abused it gives people an opportunity to act compassionately towards that animal. 🙏

@ADX98927

The world is really cruel, everyone will get sick and die, keep a normal mind.

I'm not sure what/where your fear stems from, as there are too many cruelty and violence in the world we live in today. With wars, violent protests, and unjustified incidents happening globally. Not one country has forever peace amongst its citizens.

I have a similar fear. Except my fear also tags along loneliness. I fear that when I pass of old age, there won't be a single person beside me to know I've passed. If my immediate family members (parents and older brother), that we all pass of old age, being the youngest, no friends or partner, my fear is no one will find out unless my body starts decaying and the rotting smell can be noticed by others outside the house. Does anyone else have the same type of fear as I?~

@ADX98927

@ADX98927 The world is pretty messed up right now for sure. Not everything is pure evil though. You’re not. And you are important, starting with yourself. No one gets to be on planet earth by “accident”. Your lineage with the human race traces all the way back to the very beginning. You have literally hundreds and hundreds of grandparents that all went through bad times, and some good times. They survived depending on others. So your direct “blood line”, your genetic ancestors were not alone in being responsible for getting you here. Their history was probably harder than yours, at least for some of them. They struggled, they celebrated, they laughed, they cried. Some died of terrible sickness, others saw horrible wars, some dined on fine food, and went on interesting adventures. Some saw justice done, some had big dreams. You could never have born without each of those lives through almost unimaginable time. Societies go through weird and painful changes, and then back to relative peace and prosperity. The “evil” you’re seeing now is nothing new. It’s an unfortunate cycle - and you would think humankind would have learned a lot more by now. So you might say, why bother? Well, I say because cycles, by their very nature change. So you may witness the shift back to a less evil time. The cycle of life happens for all of us, naturally, so there is no need to rush it along. Especially, since things may get better. Who knows, you may be part of that change. Each one of us is a miracle. You don’t have to believe in a god to consider that your life on this planet, at this point in time is not somehow miraculous. Just consider that not one of us got here because we chose to, or deserved it. We got here because someone else chose to survive. You didn’t chose the evil in the world. What you can choose is to see that not everything is evil, not everyone is evil, and not every day has to be bad. Finally, you’re not alone in feeling this way, sometimes for me it feels overwhelming how bad things seem. The world is messed up, but I don’t have to stay focused on that. You’re on this planet, right now, in this time in history, with me. I think that is cool, and I hope you stick around to see how things turn out. I really do.

— All the best

@ADX98927 i hope to agree with you, I'm really getting sick and tired of it myself