@downinthedumps2023
Hi, dumps,
I understand partially. I'm sure I don't understand completely. I have PTSD, clinical depression, chemical imbalances, am a recovered drug addict and alcoholic in recovery. What you are going through is rough. No doubt. You can do it. I am doing it every day. Some days are easier and some days seem like you are going to drive straight to buy drugs or alcohol. Tell yourself to go home. Or if you can make it one week, just ask yourself if you can make it one week, and then do that. I use the harm reduction method with alcohol. It works for me. It might work for you too. I don't know if you believe in a higher power, but they believe in you.
God bless you.
--tree