Help :')
My body doesn't feel like my own. It doesnt feel like me. She isnt me. Why do I feel like this. like I dont know who I am anymore. This isnt my name, my voice, my body, my life. Hate feeling like this. I hate it.
The feeling is getting so much worse. It's hard to think. I hate it. I dont even know 'i'. who i am. had this feeling so many times but never get to talk about it because i thought i was just being anxious or something. i hate this. the only thing i can say that it feels like is static, or forgetful of myself. i dont know
i tried talking to someone about it, but he just said im overthinking. I know im not. its like there is something else. like, ik shes a therian, but thats not it. its not me. that isnt me. who am i
I feel better, but at the same time not. It feels like there is someone else. Not me. I dont know. I hate it. Theres gibberish, thats what i hear. a few words here and there. It seems so far, like if theyre in another room. I still feel like static but more compressed. I don't know how to explain it well. Hate it. I also woke up really shakey today too. I don't know anymore. I feel like im going insane. This isn't normal, right?? Hearing talking that i cant understand, feeling like im not the only one in my own body. Thats not normal.
These are my writings going from 2 days ago to today. Im sorry for the long writings.
@AzzyDaRazzy
Hey, first of all, you don’t have to apologize. You’re going through something really overwhelming, and it’s okay to express it. I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I can hear the frustration, fear, and exhaustion in your words, and I want you to knowbyou’re not alone.
What you’re describing sounds incredibly disorienting, like you’re disconnected from yourself, and that’s a terrifying thing to experience. But I need you to know: you’re not crazy. This feeling whatever it is doesn’t mean you’re broken or beyond help. It means something deeper is going on, something that deserves attention and care.
I believe you. You’re not overthinking, and you’re not making it up. You deserve to be heard, to have someone take you seriously and help you figure out what’s happening. Have you talked to a therapist or someone who truly listens? Because this is real and you shouldn’t have to navigate it alone.
Please be kind to yourself right now. Ground yourself in small ways touch something cold, hold something soft, focus on your breathing, remind yourself you’re here. You are you even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. And you’re not alone. I’m here, and there are people out there who want to help you find your way back to yourself.
I know it’s hard. But you are not going insane. You are not beyond help. You are still you and you matter. Keep holding on, okay? You don’t have to go through this alone.
i feel like i do have to apologie since it feels like im being a bother, even on an app lke this. you dont have to be sorry since it isn't your fault. but it is really comforting to see your words.
I'm glad you think im not crazy, even if it feels like i am going insane. it makes me really happy that you believe me, so many others didnt. I havent had the chance to talk to a therapist. and my parents are too unbothered to care about what i have to say. im sorry for being rude to myself, its a habit that is hard to break.
ive tried to different grounding techniques, like breathing, cold, soft, hot, focuing on my senses and stuff like that. nothing has been working. i still feel all 'static' and that there is another being inside my head. I mean, i know that i am still azazel, but it feels like it isnt JUST me. Im so bad at explaiing, im so sorry.
im trying hard to hold on, i really am. its just so hard when im basically alone and the only places i find comfort is on *** of all socials. i hate it. i just wish i had someone in person to guide me. i have a therapist, but she doesnt help at all. not at all. if i tell her, i doubt she will understand and ask why i havent told her about it earlier. im just scared that she will think im going insane and send me to a hospital or something.
im sorry for typing so much again. thank you for taking your time to respond. and im sorry for such a late response, i had to do something.
@AzzyDaRazzy
You never have to apologize for expressing what you’re feeling. You’re not a bother, not here, not anywhere. You’re just someone carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders, trying to make sense of it all, and that’s okay. I’m really glad you’re still holding on, even though I know it’s unbelievably hard.
And I do believe you. I believe what you’re feeling is real, and I believe that it hurts. You’re not "crazy," and you’re not wrong for struggling. It makes complete sense why you feel the way you do, especially when it feels like no one is really there to listen and understand. When people dismiss your pain, it doesn’t mean it’s not real it just means they don’t know how to handle it. But I hear you And you deserve to be heard.
I know the feeling of being trapped in your own mind, where no amount of grounding or distraction seems to pull you back. That static, that not-just-me feeling it’s valid, even if it’s hard to put into words. And I get why you’re scared to bring it up with your therapist, especially if you don’t feel truly seen by her. But I promise, you are not beyond help. You are not beyond understanding. There are people out there who will get it, who will sit with you in this space without judgment. And you deserve that.
I know it feels lonely. And I know that sometimes the places where we find comfort like certain social media spaces can be both a relief and a reminder of how isolated we feel in real life. But please, please don’t let the fact that you don’t have in-person support right now convince you that you are truly alone. Because you aren’t. I’m here, even if it’s just through a screen, and I truly care that you are still here.
You don’t have to fight this battle all on your own. You are not too much. You are not broken. You are a person, fighting through something really difficult, and that in itself shows so much strength. Keep holding on. And if nothing else, let this be proof that someone out here sees you, believes you, and is rooting for you. You matter.
can i please private message you? it is hard to figure out how this app works since im new. i really appreciate you entirely. even in just two messages, you make me feel a little more seen and heard.
@AzzyDaRazzy
Sure 😊
ohh i cant message you. Since you have your listening as 'over 18' i cannot. but i really appreciate you. im sorry for causing any bother or anything like that.
@AzzyDaRazzy
M really sorry for that...
its fine. it doesnt change the fact you listened to me now :)
@AzzyDaRazzy
Whenever you feel like talking with me for something just...drop message here by tagging me.... I'll respond as soon as possible
thank you
@AzzyDaRazzy
Pls take care of yourself properly and have a beautiful day ahead
You too, i hope you have a wonderful day.
@AzzyDaRazzy
I believe you.
From your words, I can sense that you are a kind person (you always say thank you and sorry), so I guess you may have encountered some stress that has caused your body to ‘not look like you’. I am not a professional doctor, but I think many of the people seeking help here (including me) have similar situations.
It sounds like your therapist isn't helping and is even harmful... Have you considered changing doctors? I can understand the feeling of not being understood and having nowhere to turn. You don't have to apologise for how you feel.
I hope you feel better soon and if you want to chat, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Im so sorry for not responding fast. I got busy and then fell asleep. I'm glad to have met such nice people on this app :>
I'm sorry you have been through lots of stress to, i feel like no one should really have so much on their shoulders.
I have considered changing therapists, but there isnt many affordable ones in my area aside from her. She is a 'skills trainer' and not a therapist, but I call all of them therapists.
thank you for taking your time to respond. and again, im sorry for not replying fast.
You are in a difficult situation my friend, but at least you are conscious about it right? You kind of understand the situation and you are REALLY trying to be better.
So, let me ask you... You are feeling better, there is something else you need to say? We are here to help you 🫂