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AzzyDaRazzy
3 348 M Embraced 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts40 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes21 Current upvotes21 Age GroupTeen Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceFebruary 20, 2025
Bio

You can call me Azazel or Azzy.

I'm 16 so pls be nice

idk whaf to put


Im always here to listen, but keep in mind I'm also here for bad mental health.

Recent forum posts
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Update
General Support / by AzzyDaRazzy
Last post
 5 hours ago
...See more Okay so- Update!! Ive done some reasearch(probably not enough). And to be honest, I'm so glad I got told to do reasearch about this stuff. I've done small reasearch about DID and just dissociation in general. i naturally dissociate a lot since i have adhd, and i thought it was like- fine. but whats been happening hasnt been regular dissociation. right now, i feel a bit better, but i still feel a little off. This feeling has happened in the past, having itstarted since i was around 8, but it wasnt as bad as it is been for the past few days. I've always automatically ignored it, but i havent been able to lately. that weird fuzzy feeling, the feeling confused on who i am and that this isnt my body and etc. It's never been this sever, but i think its because this is the most genuinely stressed ive been in awhile. Anyway back to the reasearch topic. The one that matches what im feeling the most is a type of OSDD, I'll copy and paste since I don't feel like typing it in my own words... *Having chronic dissociative symptoms such as identity alteration, but thealteration and separation between identities is not as severe as in DID. There maybe identity disturbance, but not the presence of clearly separated parts or amnesia.* I mean, it makes sense. I struggle with remembering things, always thinking I just forgot but it's kind of odd. Sometimes my sisters tell me that I be crying at random times in the day, but i ABSOLUTELY do not remember that. And also times that my mom randomly tells me to go with her and i say 'why didnt u tell me before' and she says 'I told you a few hours ago'. Like, i be wondering what the *** i was doing a few hours ago. the gibberish is more prominent at times today. The voice sounded more masculine. It isn't constantly murmurs that go on non-stop, its for a few minutes near every hour or smth close to that. im so tired, i just want it to stop. it makes me feel like im going insane. I can't tell anyone about it at home. My sister makes fun of me for everything, my mom won understand it at all, my dad would tell me 'its js in your head, get over it" and stuff like that. And if i told my other older sister, she'd make it about herself some how. And my 'therapist' isnt even an actual therapist. She's just a 'skills trainer' so she cant even diagnose me or anything. oh waiit, i just realize it DOESNT include amnesia. sorry, its nearly 2am and i just finished reading a 12 page thing about different dissociation and DID/OSDD. I'm really tired lol. this is another smash up of my self-writing. right now, at 4:21am, the static feeling is worsened again. its getting hard to feel who i am again. i hate this. im going insane. im sorry
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Help :')
General Support / by AzzyDaRazzy
Last post
 19 hours ago
...See more My body doesn't feel like my own. It doesnt feel like me. She isnt me. Why do I feel like this. like I dont know who I am anymore. This isnt my name, my voice, my body, my life. Hate feeling like this. I hate it. The feeling is getting so much worse. It's hard to think. I hate it. I dont even know 'i'. who i am. had this feeling so many times but never get to talk about it because i thought i was just being anxious or something. i hate this. the only thing i can say that it feels like is static, or forgetful of myself. i dont know i tried talking to someone about it, but he just said im overthinking. I know im not. its like there is something else. like, ik shes a therian, but thats not it. its not me. that isnt me. who am i I feel better, but at the same time not. It feels like there is someone else. Not me. I dont know. I hate it. Theres gibberish, thats what i hear. a few words here and there. It seems so far, like if theyre in another room. I still feel like static but more compressed. I don't know how to explain it well. Hate it. I also woke up really shakey today too. I don't know anymore. I feel like im going insane. This isn't normal, right?? Hearing talking that i cant understand, feeling like im not the only one in my own body. Thats not normal. These are my writings going from 2 days ago to today. Im sorry for the long writings.
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