Having no Goal in Life anymore
So, I found my way back to this App again after having a really bad Time with my mental health, which I didn't think I could figut against alone- but yeah, I did it. So, welcome back again to my Not so daily Diary where I basically tell about my issues with (probably- I don't know ðŸ˜) the worst grammar ever as English is not my first language, lol. My Not so daily Diary also involves not looking at the reply if someone did, because I think at least I have social anxiety. My mom met someone that is now her friend with something called Social Phobia, and well.. surprisingly she has the same issues I have, so I think I have some kind of social phobia but I'm don't wanna make a diagnose or anything, I'm just scared to actually interact with people on here even though this should be a safe space help ðŸ˜
Back to the thing I wanted to talk about.
How I think about my future and life. Because simply put, I can't say if I willingly want to get older than 20. I do not have aggressive suicide or any thoughts that tell me to end it right now, that's not the issue. The issue is more like- idk what to still do with my life. I have no friends, no job for the future and so on, so.. life is Basically worthless now, isn't it?
Still, I wouldn't wanna throw it away. Maybe, someday something life changing will happen? I think long story short my text means I have no joy in life anymore and nothing to loose. *** yes, sign me up for the next Squid Games. (My Humour never leaves.)
@Astro09
I do not know very many who have a plan or life figured out... those with goals often find midway to the goal that the focus has changed.   We never know what tomorrow brings... except if we hide ourselves away.  so many years and opportunities i missed avoiding life while wondering why things were not advancing for me.Â
      The chance of getting a job without putting yourself out there is almost zero. The same with friends we cannot make friends when we cut ourselves off. Life happens and things change when we are not prepared or looking for it.   It does not show up when we reach a certain age 20, 30 etc. .... it does not come knocking at our door ... well unless we fall for a delivery person.Â
   Small steps is all it takes.... a job brings co-workers / possible friends.Â
   IN my first job ( fast food) I met my managers best friend... who is my spouse now years later.  Next job I met the one friend who has stayed with me through all my changes and years. she feels like family.  Every job or chance I took....... I was scared to death .....but applied to jobs anyway or tried something new .....you are far more capable then you realize.Â
@Astro09 Alright, so it isn't that you want to kick the bucket- it's just that you don't like the life you are living right now. You do want to live- just differently. That's good! Hope isn't lost. In order to help yourself, a dramatic thing like a death game for money is probably not going to help you. You need small consistent changes- starting with the social anxiety. Step 1- you reached out online! That's great! Step 2- respond to this comment. But, online is one thing and in real life is another thing. What are some small little ways you could build your social confidence? What are some small little things you can say to yourself so you don't overthink interacting with other people?Â
@Astro09 i hope you start feeling better, going through issues myself as if i bought them on sale
I really liked you, the joke you made and your personality
I totally understand what you're going through , and English is not my first language either, is Spanish yours?
I'm so sorry you're going through a time like this, I have something different; I do have things that I don't want to lose and that I would never see again, but the things that I prefer not to see or feel weigh more on the scale. I don't see myself in the future because everything is going badly for me.
But I don't know, trying again and again is a strangely fun challenge, sometimes. Trying for others. Trying to make the good things weigh more on the scale
Life changes all the time, it is constantly moving, and anxiety can be a problem for that, yes. Hot teas or natural pills helped me a lot, I started impulsively and although I seemed aggressive because of my nerves, I made many friends. You don't have to change your routine, talk to someone who catches your attention and be direct, "It makes me very anxious but you caught my attention, do you want to talk to me?" Then it is more difficult but saying what you think or what you do is okay
And if you don't find anyone, let life bring them to you.
Trying is always good, it seems exhausting but even if you try it is very good💕
