Boyfriends Were Optional, But My Skincare Routine Was Non-Negotiable – Here’s Why!

Hey, everyone! 👋

I’ve been thinking… what if I start a Sister Talk here? And no, this isn’t just for the girls — trust me, I know guys need some good advice too. Think of it as a safe, funny space where I share my real-life moments, dilemmas, and mistakes (yep, lots of them) like your older sister who’s been through it all, but also knows how to laugh about it.

So, let’s get into it. Back when I was younger and by younger, I mean not too long ago, okay? 🥹I had a major obsession with me time. No, I wasn’t doing crazy meditation retreats or anything (I wish), I was just all about my skincare, getting my steps in, and feeling proud of myself for not skipping a workout for like… three days straight. Baby steps, okay?! 🧴💪 But seriously, my glow-up routine was everything. I’d wake up, do my skincare, then have my “I’m so productive” morning and feel like a literal goddess , before 10 a.m. Like, what other 18-year-old was out there really thriving at 9:30 a.m.? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Of course, my family was like, “Uh, why are you spending so much time doing that for yourself? Shouldn’t you be looking for a boyfriend, or at least learning how to cook like a grown-up?” And I’d be like, “No, no, trust me, this is vital for my well-being. And yes, I’m working on the cooking thing… slowly.” But honestly, it was the self-care vibe. Like, there was something magical about knowing I’d completed my skincare or did a bit of stretching , it gave me this sense of control over my life. I felt good. That was my thing.

But here’s where it gets real: as my friends started getting into relationships, I couldn’t help but feel… weird about it. I mean, good for them, right? They had their cute boyfriends, and everything seemed so perfect. But I started thinking, Am I… missing out? Was I the only one in the world who didn’t have a “he’s-the-one” situation? Was I… just really that obsessed with myself? 🥹

At first, I tried to ignore it , I mean, my skincare ritual wasn’t going to do itself but then it started bugging me. And not in a I’m-jealous way (promise, I wasn’t crying into my sheet masks over it), but more like, Is something wrong with me? Like, why wasn’t I jumping into this relationship thing like everyone else? But then, I noticed something a little… off. My friends, who were all super ambitious and strong-minded, started changing. Not for the better, though. They started doing the “I’ll let him handle everything and I’ll just support him” thing. And I couldn’t shake the feeling that they were slowly disappearing into their relationships, losing themselves. It was like they’d left their goals, their dreams, their independence at the door the minute they met him.

Now, here’s where I get a bit “old-school” (don’t judge me, okay?). I grew up in a place where the man is supposed to be the one who has all the answers, the money, the success, the power. And here I was, watching my friends fall into this idea that if their boyfriend had more money or a “better” career, they didn’t need to care about their own career or dreams. They could just be the girlfriend. And to be honest, that really, REALLY bothered me. I mean, wasn’t the point of being independent so you could keep your own identity? You know, the one that’s not totally defined by someone else?

And here’s the funniest part: for a while, I honestly thought I was just being bitter. I thought, maybe I’m just jealous of them. But then I realized, nope. That wasn’t it. It was just that it was hard for me to watch people, especially the ones I loved, lose themselves for someone else. It was like they started living for him instead of themselves. And that… felt wrong to me.

Relationships? They’re amazing. Who doesn’t want someone to share their life with? But here’s what I learned: the secret to a great relationship? It starts with you. You need to be whole, independent, and you before you even think about sharing your life with someone else. And if you’re losing yourself in a relationship, it’s okay to take a step back and check if you’re doing what’s best for you, not just what’s best for him.

So, here’s where you come in, do you guys want to start this Sister Talk with me? I’ll be sharing more personal stories, some silly moments, some tough lessons, and we can talk through it all together. And guys, I promise, this isn’t just for girls. This is for anyone who’s ever wondered, Am I doing enough for myself? or Am I letting someone else dictate who I should be?

Let me know your thoughts! And maybe drop a comment about your own experiences with “finding yourself” while navigating relationships. I’d love to hear it! ❤️🫡