Betrayed; Lost My Best Friend, First Love, and Self-Esteem All In One (Advice Please)

@fearless1000

I hear the deep pain and betrayal you're experiencing. What happened to you was cruel and unfair - you gave your whole heart to someone who didn't honor that gift. Please know that his choices reflect his character, not your worth.

The intensity of your feelings is completely valid and normal after such a devastating betrayal. Many people experience similar obsessive thoughts and the urge to check up on their ex and their new partner. You're not alone in this struggle.

But you deserve so much better than torturing yourself by stalking them. Each time you check on them, you're reopening the wound. Consider blocking them everywhere so you can start healing. It will be hard at first, but it gets easier with time.

As for closure - sometimes we have to create our own closure, especially when dealing with someone who could discard a 3-year relationship so callously. Your closure can come from recognizing that someone who could do this isn't worthy of your love and devotion.

Please don't give up on yourself. You have so much love to give - that's a beautiful quality, not a flaw. The right person will treasure that about you. For now, try to redirect some of that abundant love toward yourself:

- Be gentle with yourself as you grieve

- Spend time with people who value you

- Do small things each day that make you feel good

- Consider talking to a counselor who can help you process this

Remember: You are worthy of faithful, consistent love. His inability to provide that says everything about him and nothing about you. Your heart will heal, even though it doesn't feel that way right now. Take it one day at a time, and be patient and kind with yourself as you recover.

Would you like to talk more about what you're feeling? I'm here to listen without judgment.

Love really can be a cruel creature sometimes, right? Like, just when you think it’s all sunshine and rainbows, BAM! A storm of betrayal, confusion, and those lovely why did this happen thoughts. Ugh, the worst. 😤

But here’s the thing: You deserve better than someone who could throw away three years of love for someone they knew for THREE days. Seriously, who even does that? And as hard as it might seem now, you will heal and grow from this. Trust me. Healing is like a really, really slow process of replacing all those “him and her” thoughts with “Me, myself, and I.” 🦋

So, how to unlove? Well, as much as I’d love to say there’s a magical switch to flip, it’s more like peeling off layers of a big, emotional onion (one tear at a time). And that’s okay, because each layer you peel is one step closer to loving yourself again. 🌱

As for stalking them? We’ve all been there (don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me). But hey, blockity-block and move on. Focus on YOU now. Think about all the things you love about yourself. Could be anything from how great you are at binging Netflix to how you’ve survived this rollercoaster of emotions. Seriously, you’ve got skills! 💪✨

And closure? Well, we don’t always get that from the other person, but you can create your own closure by letting go of the past and starting a new chapter. Spoiler alert: it’s one where YOU are the main character. 🦸‍♀️

You are enough. You always were. He was the one who missed out on something amazing, and now it’s time to give that love and care back to the most important person in your life: YOU. 💖

Sending you all the strength, love, and good vibes. You’ve got this. Keep going, and remember: Even when it feels like love has knocked you down, it’s just getting you ready for better things ahead. You deserve all the happiness. ✨💕