Weekly Prompt #9: What do you miss most about social interaction and connection?
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In the last week, as you may know, we discussed a bit about What’s been bothering you lately? If you haven't checked yet, please click here to add your thoughts.
This week's prompt is: What do you miss most about social interaction and connection? Are there any supports in place that help ease feelings of loneliness for you?
Let's take a step back and reflect for a moment that how loneliness impacts your social interaction and connection. Share your thoughts with us.
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For someone who doesn't have even one person to call a friend for the past decade, social connection and interaction seems like a whole different world for me. I long for a heart-to-heart connection with at least one other person, and yet, I'm hesitant to connect with people on a deeper level. I've had one too many incidents where my trust of another person backfired, and turned out that I was just being used. Other times, abandoned. As much as I know that we, human beings need to be connected to each other to survive in this tough society, it makes me feel that there's no one out there interested to get to know me. To know who I am from the inside, and what I can offer to them as a friend.
I often worry if I'll ever have a friend, if I'll ever meet someone who is willing to spend the rest my life with. As much as I'm afraid of being alone in this world, I'm just as afraid of meeting people who will just take advantage of me. It's a constant debate within me.
@ASilentObserver
@Jaeteuk That sounds like a difficult situation, being without close friends for so long and yet longing for a deep connection. It's understandable you would be hesitant to open up after past experiences where your trust was misused. Having people who will be there for you through life would be a gift.
It's a constant battle. It saddens me that my past "friendships" were all fake. I put in so much effort into our so-called "friendships/relationships" and in the end, everything was a lie. I trusted those people, and really saw them as best friends.
I have also been single for the past nearly 18 years. I'm at the age where I'm longing for a relationship. My parents don't rush me in getting married, but I know my mum really hopes that there will be a husband to take care of me in the future. They are always thinking that as parents, and age-wise, they will be the first to go. So, other than just having my brother and I left by ourselves, my mum hopes that I will have a husband and my brother to have a wife. To have our own family, whether or not we'll have kids is not a big deal, they just want us to have our own spouses.
But with these past failed friendships, and the only romantic relationship I once had, as much as I want at least one good friend, and to be in a relationship, all the past interactions I've had with people have really made me doubt myself in choosing people to be friends with. A couple of years ago, someone introduced me to another person online. We chatted through text messages almost on a daily-basis. I felt so connected with that person, it was like a long-lost friend. Long story, short. It turned into a financial scam. That person used my trust and I was stupid enough to send them $$. Let's just say, it was a lesson learned the hard way. Although I reported to local Police after 3 months, but all the $$ is gone forever. All because I trusted someone too easily.
So, I'll never try to make friends with people online ever again. See, even people online like to use my trust in them. Maybe that's why it's difficult for me to get too close with colleagues, but I'm afraid they have an alternate purpose. It really hurts to find out afterwards that the other person only wants to use me for their benefits.
So, I'm constantly worried if I'll ever find someone who will like me for me. I know that it will be harder to find a significant other each year as I get older (just passed my mid-30s). It already seems like I'm doomed, that I'll stay single to the end, with no friends. Just my brother, that is, if he doesn't re-marry. *sigh*
@ASilentObserver
@Jaeteuk I hear the disappointment from past experiences has weighed heavy on you. Relationships built on dishonesty and manipulation can be so hurtful. The longing for genuine human connection and companionship is natural and understandable. Focusing on building trust with yourself and others at a healthy pace going forward may bring the fulfilling relationships you seek. I am sure you will get there. We all here rooting for you.
@ASilentObserver
I’m pretty much a loner, so I’ve become accustomed to not interacting with people in person. My last girlfriend angrily said that I would end up a recluse. So far, it seems like she was right.