I wish I could tell everybody that...

I look happy and successful but am really angry and bitter.

I was bullied, i grow in brokenhome and dysfunctional family..

But it doesnt mean i should giving up. I have my own dreams and lifetime.

Everyone I know thinks I'm smart. That I'm above average. That I don't have to work hard on anything. And what's really sad is that for the most part they're right. But nothing is good enough for my parents. They always end up calling me stupid and dumb. And I know I'm not either of those things, but it still stings when I hear it. It's feels as if everyone I know thinks I'm dumb and stupid as well. It's so demeaning. And I wish it would stop. But it never will.

I wish I could tell everyone that I'm not a lazy bum, and that I do want job. That I do want money because theres somewhere I want to be, and that I want to go there but I don't have the courage yet to get my liscence. I wish I could tell everyone about my lover and not get sad because I'm not strong enough to get there by myself.

I wish I could tell everybody that I was in a foster home for 6 years, and in the first year, I was raped by somebody who I thought was my friend.

I'm not mad or blaming my parents for what they did I'm just not ready to forgive them yet

That I am gay but not a pervert. Just because the law in this country makes loving someone of my gender a crime does not mean that I love any less sincerely. That I am still the same guy you grew up with, the same friend that stayed up all night to help you with your tests, so don't call me a faggot and demean me just because now you know that I can only love a man! That I want the same things that you do, and even if I didn't that wouldn't make me any less of a person! That it's harder than you think to know that I'll probably never have it as easy as you do, to live a simple average life in this country. That living a lie each day is not cakewalk! It takes nothing for you to respect another person; who I sleep with and who I can love isn't something I need to be judged about every single day! That I deserve to be happy as much as you do! I never chose to be the way that I am. I wanted it easy, just like you!

I do not have the same luxuries that you have, unlike you I cannot hold the hand of someone I love while I take a walk in the park because everyone would be disgusted that I dared to love. Or I'd be persecuted by cops like a criminal.That it hurts to know that no matter how educated or qualified or successful I am, I'll always be that faggot that you'll joke about, even if I turn a deaf ear to your juvenile but still hurtful comments.

It takes nothing at all to be respectful of others. If you cannot be respectful at the very least please let people live their lives out the best way they can without interfering for no good reason. Loving someone is not a crime even if the law of the land says that it is!

I am tired of wearing a mask.

Wish I could tell everyone that sometimes life drags me down to the point I sometimes question why I'm even here? Significant other doesn't want to hear me and recently lost his job making him take all of his frustrations out on me because he has no money and can't save to save his life. Every week I work 40+ hours and have nothing to show for it...I can hardly support us and he takes my hard work lightly and doesn't appreciate anyththing anymore. I'm stressed I'm tired I'm broke and I have nobody to really listen to the struggles I'm facing. I feel so lost and I just want it to all go away there is just to much going on in my life I'm about to loose it!

I also wish I could tell everybody that I'm not really that shy- I just get uncomfortable in places where there's a lot of loud people, it's just overwhelming. I still want to meet new people and make new relationships though...