@littleStrawberries1840
Sorry that you had to go through that. Hi.
I have lost friendships naturally as people usually do over the course of life. So, never did I imagine a friendship falling apart to hurt until well, it did for me, not once but twice, in these past two years.
#1 A 'no matter what' best friend, a companion, called A, whose feelings I could not reciprocate and we had to cut off contact to let go of the attachment for the good as it had no future to it like he wanted. A 10-year-long friendship, that too of that level of closeness, you would think that it will hurt, but when it didn't, as I went through my days experiencing no loss, is when I knew that it was in fact for the good of both of us. Except that it only could be realized a year later how that 'void' came to affect me in the most surprising ways that I never could even consciously realize. In the year that followed after we stopped talking, I found myself unknowingly filling that void of a 'no matter what' person whom I unconditionally cared for, with another person, K, whom I met and became friends with shortly after I stopped contact with A.
#2 K became my person, who got showered with all my care that had no other place to go to. But K, being K, could not meet me with the reciprocation of the same. The imbalance in our feelings and treatment to each other ate me up over the next many months. Finally, as we moved to different cities, we just stopped talking one day, without any notice or any conversation to serve as a closure. Then, months went by where I felt confused, rejected, hurt and above all, sad beyond my comprehension. The imbalance remains still, earlier in the care we had for each other, and not in the hurt we felt, as I am miserable in all these months now, more than I have ever been in life, while he is unaffected because this is just another loss of friendship people experience naturally as they go through life as they lose contact.
I could not reciprocate A's love, and K could not reciprocate mine.
I have been at both the giving and receiving end of this heartbreak now, if I can call it that, as I still try to figure out every day even after months of no contact with K, and years with A, that what it is that I am experiencing.
This is pretty much what has brought me here on 7 cups. I hope to feel comfort and provide comfort to others. I believe everyone deserves some peace after all.