Completely out of touch with my friend
So I have a friend I've hung out with for a good 20+ years and since last year things have just felt like a mess
It started last year during the summer when I noticed him being absent more and not really initiating contact to hang out (previously we'd hang out every week). I kind of took it personal and was hurt but later learned apparently he had beef with another friend which cause him to be withdrawn (no idea why he didn't tell me). In my frustration I responded less to his apps but didn't drop communications, just kept to myself
Fast forward to this year. I felt a lot better given I was in therapy and it was going great so I started hanging out with our mutual group of friends again. It seemed cool but whenever I asked him to hang out again he just seemed a lot more aloof? Sometimes he'd respond but it felt reaaaally difficult to get in touch and often he'd not respond or just respond at the last minute which was frustrating
A few weeks ago I called him to kind of talk about it. I was already just feeling *** situation but though as a last ditch effort I'd just call him and explain how I felt. I told him I felt really bad about my actions last year (being more withdrawn) and apologized and he seemed enthusiastic. He didn't really comment on his actions which kind of made me feel bad but hey at least it was a step in the right direction
Problem is it's been another 2 months since and I still feel like he's leaving me hanging a lot of the time. Last Wednesday might've been the worst of them: he DM'ed me telling me he got a new guitar part and whether I wanted to come hang out with him and jam a bit (I play guitar he plays bass). We had played music together and I was up so I mentioned to him sure. He DM'ed me back saying he was available from thu-sunday so I said I could hang out on friday/saturday but as soon as I said he dropped communications again
It felt kind of hurtful. Today, in a mutual group chat we are in, he answered to another person asking to hang out tomorrow only he'd interpreted it that they ask today (saturday) instead of tomorrow (sunday). He said he could hang out today and meanwhile still hasn't answered my DM which I know he read wednesday which just makes me feel really bad.
At this point I'm not sure what to do. I feel bad about my actions last year but apologized and don't know what else to say. I'm not sure he's angry or what else but his behavior like the last example just seems so erratic and I noticed just feeling really bad and ignored. I could call him again but I feel like at this rate I'm just calling him over and over and am not sure what else to say.
Tips, advice? I've known him for such a long time but it just feels like crap being treated liked this and I'm halfway there just to let him known I've appreciated our good moments but the current situation is not working for me. I just feel horrible about the whole thing