Trying too hard
I sometimes find when I'm trying to make friends, I try too hard. I push too much, message too much, expect too much and it drives people away. But I don't know how to stop. It's like a compulsions.
Sometimes when they don't message back or they don't reciprocate how I want then to, I start spiralling on how terrible I am.
How do I stop?
You need to embark upon a journey called Self-Love.. Going by your behaviour It seems you are trying to unknowingly seek validation from others that you are worthy of being a friend too just like others.. but you lack of conviction in your own self is spoiling it all.. I suggest you to rather begin enjoying solitude as a result of which you'll gain huge confidence of being self sufficient. Just as it happens, you'll glow more and attract people towards you then they'll be friends with you equally and you won't need to push too hard.
There are various ways to do that. the one i took was increase time on one of my hobbies as a result of which i would be so busy that the day would pass and the thought of being socially active in my leisure time went away. But, as a result i realised how unnecessary it was to try to have daily interactions with friends to make frndship stronger.. and presently, me or my friends we are all equally investing in friendship rather than the past when i felt like i was the only one responsible for maintaining it.
BUT BUT.. most importantly, their number had decreased too. But if you ask me I have no problem with that. Nor will you, I assure. Quality over Quantity any day.
I hope you try to do similar.
All the best.
One Amongst You ❤️
Thank you... but it sounds so hard...
I hope you still try coz when you enjoy your company the world enjoys your company too!
@lavenderdusk32
put yourself in their shoes ....... do you respond to each and every message?......how many messages are too much?
do you have boundaries regarding texts or messages? .......... like for example at work ( i think it was on purpose) cell phones did not work well in building forcing employees to only answer / respond on breaks or lunch.
Do you envision them having perhaps a personal situations that may be more pressing then a friends?
i can see how wanting a response is fine and ones mind can question why have i not heard from X ......... but more often then NOT when i got worked up about a non response it was completely understandable situation and my stressing out about it was worthless............