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oneamongstyou285
1,087 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts195 Forum posts110 Forum upvotes153 Current upvotes153 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceAugust 19, 2022
Recent forum posts
I wish to be like others
General Support / by oneamongstyou285
Last post
 October 24th, 2022
...See more I feel so bad when i am unable to feel enotions especially thr negative ones the way others can feel.. I have never been able to feel what emotional hurt feels like.. sometimes i wish ti cry like normal people over things that should be hurting me.. but i have such a bad Idea about the world and people around that I am never able to feel the hurt the pain it's almost like invincibility but i hate it.. i wish to be like normal people who can feel sadness.. when you get sad over someone it proves that you love em but that just doesn't happen with me... I hate to say this but the more i know about a person the lesser i tend to havd respect for them in my mind which might seem harmless to everyone but not me.. even when anyone betrays me cheats me.. i can't feel the hurt.. i often force myself to live like i do but in truth i don't.. I feel like I am stuck in a strong situation but my emotional powers exceed those around me. and i so badly want to ne like em and be loved but it nvr happens.. I am ashamed of myself i feel like i lie everytime i claim to love someone. as my love is not validated by sad emotions... i m tired & struggling with this so called power i might be good with but i never asked for it.. i want all my powers taken away by God so i can leave like a normal person and feel hurt as much as i feel the love.......
Vent
Student Support / by oneamongstyou285
Last post
 October 21st, 2022
...See more I haven't been doing well lately in studying.. been cheating on my study schedule and doing just the bare minimum since 1month now.. I have been just a shadow of my real self since 1.5yrs now but no more.. any situation thrown upon me is no excuse from my side.. I could have dealt with them better.. i could have kept my ego aside and did really well.. i chose to NOT.. but i will work so well this year that I will prove that decision of mine right.. and set an example for all those people like me whi aren't ready to settle for anything less than they believe they are capable of... I will be back to my best soon very soon.. tomorrow itself.. I am taking a break from few social media apps.. Pre-downloading videos and clearing backlogs subject by subject soon.. I already have it covered in two subjects just tge other 2 i m behind.. I have to practice well the things I have studied up untill now too.. I will do that.. solve questions from my institute's study material as well as my own book also..to anyone who is reading this.. Trust me i m gonna do it.. Tomorrow embarks a new beginning.. I have already kept myself away from some bad habits for more than a week.. i know i can do it.. I am mentally in a better zone than before.. I won't let go of this situation.. I am doing physical exercises too whenever i find time.. to keep myself in good shape.. but I still eat high calorie foods i don't think i can get rid of my love for them anytime soon.. but i m burning them too.. I will do well I will not disappoint myself and my parents.. I will silence all my haters one day.. I m gonna do that.. One day i will have everything i have ever dreamt for.. and for that day to come i m gearing up from tomorrow itself.. I have to go out of station tomorrow for some chore too but that's no excuse i will still finish up my Goals.. Please pray for me to get back to my best.. as i pray all of us too achieve our goals.. Thank you.. I just wanted to share it with people who won't judge me as well as knowing you all know it now so to not do what i say would mean disappointing you all too.. and i won't disappoint anyone..not anymore..
what should I do?
Relationship Stress / by oneamongstyou285
Last post
 October 10th, 2022
...See more We are both struggling and hurting but neither one is causing it.. Both wish to relieve the other of their pains.. still what we keep doing is hurting each other again and again and again.. Both feel responsible.. Both feel unhappy.. & neither (as per my understanding) seems to be able to get out this gloomy state of mind.. It's only in the beginning the first 6 mnths.. when everything was alright.. ever since the same things keep happening over and over again.. no we are not in a relationship.. never were.. but the connection was like that between Husband and a Wife.. I have no idea where it's going.. but i just wish to put an end to her problems asap.. but idk how.. I feel tired of my own self.. top it off with the fact that i too have serious physical and mental health issues combined with recently arose social problems too.. I m always under scrutiny for my smallest actions.. And for her even the smallest of my actions matter.. the smallest of my mistakes affect her a lott.. We stay in different cities.. Can hardly meet.. Social media is the only form of interaction currently.. She loses her patience very often.. she'd call me bro to tease me or whatever reason once a month or similar.. but that affects my decision making a lot ..
Is it possible & would it last?
Relationship Stress / by oneamongstyou285
Last post
 September 29th, 2022
...See more I really really love a girl.. but i can't seem to trust her but it's not like i trust anyone else either.. neither that i never tried.. i did try & trusted her with a lot of my life's stuff for the first few mnths she did too.. but fast forward to 2 years only one of us seems to have maintained the integrity.. she feels guilty probably.. but still.. when i trusted her with few things i told myself it was the last person i would do a experiment on to decide whether or not ppl should be trusted.. she has failed.. but the love hasn't changed.. but i have respected the terms and conditions i promised myself.. and have made it a self care rule to Never trust anyone again with my secrets and insecurities that really matter to me. But put all that aside, i haven't grown out of her love.. I still love her.. with each passing day the love is stronger than it was yesterday.. we were 15 back then when she leaked out my secrets.. we are 18 now.. she has matured enough i see.. and idk but if there's one person i would love it's her noone else.. But would such a relationship if it went into a marriage last.. whereby she would have my company knowing i m trustworthy.. but i will always be quite a bit alone when needing her to share my problems with.. i m in a situation where i keep falling for her more n more but there's nothing like trust in my dictionary anymore..nor do i even make trust a prerequisite for any relationship now.. Let me know your opinions.. especially i would love it from anyone who's married.. can you live a lifetime with someone you love and still have your personal space for your insecurities and secrets, & always maintain boundaries (only in this stuff )& no other.. Thank you.
Need an honest answer
Friendship Support / by oneamongstyou285
Last post
 October 17th, 2022
...See more Answer only if you can be honest to your own self. I hate lies & manipulation. Acc. to currently popular theory of Karma, if you do bad to someone ,bad will come back to haunt you.. if you do good then good will too but if you do good to someone and end up receiving bad in return.. does it not mean it's your turn to do bad to them so as to balance the system? If you knew, people who did disastrous things to you.. but who still feel no regret or shame over it but instead try to blame you entirely for it and are quite successful in it due to their manipulation skills and number advantage.. And you knew if you taught each one of them a proper lesson.. they would remember it for the rest of their lives and everytime a person like you showed up they wouldn't dare to do the same things to that person as they did to you because they will remember the consequences it brought.. moreover everyone who would get to know abt it would also understand how their harmful actions can bring disaster to their ownselves in future.. and thus would fear doing anything wrong.. Would you still stop yourself and not teach em a lesson? would you allow coming generations to suffer the same pain you were subjected to? would you not allow things to get as ugly as they can for justice to be delivered to you as well as to those in the future?
Know that I tried
Newbie Hub / by oneamongstyou285
Last post
 September 27th, 2022
...See more If few years from now.. I am someone nobody from my present and my past would be proud of.. If i become someone whose existence becomes a threat to the existence of others.. know that I tried.. every single time.. when i had a choice to be that and to not be that i chose to not be.. if i become a threat.. know i was made into this way.. carefully and thoughtfully by ppl around me with or without intention but I was forced to become Smthing my younger self would never be proud of but my current self found it the most reasonable way to put an end to all of it.. I won't be sorry.. Nor would i want anyone to regret over anything they did.. but One thing is certain i would owe no explanation to anyone.. bcz just like i had a choice to not be that way till the ultimate day ,when i might finally chose to be threat to others, everyone else who were a part of the process had the choice to end it too.. but just like them my will power couldn't stand it.. and them and me both took decisions we were destined to be taking.. and eventually leading to catastrophic event sponsored by my strength.. that day might never come.. Coz i don't know how losing feels like nor am i planning to be servant to my sufferings but If at all i do.. just know i tried i tried until the very last cell of my body failed to convince me to not take the way, (which i felt was my purpose since my childhood!) Maybe it's God's plan after all.. probably it's not a test of will but it's pure guidance towards the path i was meant to take in this crowded place.. but at some point of my life just like any other normal person i forgot my true purpose and chose to find a new purpose in the purpose of the crowd.. So i won't hate on anyone or anything.. i was meant to be this way sooner or later.. if not for these ones some others would have done exactly what they did.. in order to remind me of my true purpose my true powers.. & Just like every beautiful journey comes to an end but every end is beginning of something new.. maybe not for the better of rest of the world.. but for me? definitely. Know that i tried but also know that i failed Know who i might become but also try to know what all led me to become so. That's all. Thank you if you read this.
Everything is coming back together
Positivity & Gratitude / by oneamongstyou285
Last post
 September 17th, 2022
...See more As I write this let me tell you, Everything fell apart on more occasions than one.. but it's all coming back together.. Keep your faith intact just like me.. you'll be rewarded too! So much of positivity surrounding my mind.. it's always this time of the year this very month September.. feels so nice & cures all my pains.. it's also a month where for around 15days we worship our ancestors here in my region.. maybe it's coz of their grace.. but it just feels so good.. the positive aura all around.. i f#cked up last year at the same time by making a huge mistake of assuming i can stay happy on my own and alone without her too ngl i was mad at her for few things & not acknowledging the almighty's plans, BUT not this year.. not gonna risk anything.. things have turned to normal wanna take it from here.. maintain this feeling for as long as i can.. protect and nurture it.. Thank you God.. I won't make no mistakes no more.. love you.. and yeah no big talk from my side now.. I know even if you end up refusing all my prayers for her to be mine.. you'll have something up your sleeves to help me out.. I am sorry for last year.. shud have realised your grace far exceeds the person whom i love, falls for me or not.. Sorry and thank you.. <3 thank you for the 2nd chance.. One of your most sincere devotee❤️
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