Struggling around the holidays
Hi, I’m new here, I was actually suggested to join by my therapist!
I’ve been struggling a lot around the holidays with PTSD and anxiety regarding my brother.
**TW suicide**
Long story short, my brother attempted suicide last year and while he failed, he suffered a severe brain injury from the attempt. He’s now wheelchair bound, fully dependent, can’t speak, gtube fed, etc. I was the one who found him and that’s only because I wasn’t feeling well and came home early from school, otherwise no one would’ve been home for hours.
last year during the holidays he was still hospitalized and everything was crazy. This year he is home though, and while he’s come so far, it’s like everything is hitting me now seeing all our traditions change. He couldn’t eat at Thanksgiving, he couldn’t play football with everyone, he slept most the day, he lashed out and cried (my mom thinks from being overwhelmed because he doesn’t understand why so many people were over)
Now we’re starting the Christmas things and it already feels so different :( he couldn’t help us put up the tree, he held his stocking but I don’t think he knew what it was for. He’s not going to be able to decorate cookies, open presents, decorate the outside of the house.
I am feeling so sad about it. I know I should be grateful he’s still here, but I miss him. He’s always been one of my best friends, I feel such a loss and then I feel guilty for feeling this way 😢😢
sorry this is long and thank you to anyone who actually got through it all💜
@loloxjoy
sounds like alot to go through and it would be hard to see someone in that state ... unable to grasp what is going on and traditions no longer to be participated in ... your feelings even if mixed are totally normal and this will be a hard time for your family ......... i hope it goes as well as it can
@loloxjoy Sending compassion. That seems so hard, missing the person your brother used to be, especially during a time of year when traditions are so grounding to us.
Welcome and im so sorry for the reason..
Holiday's are never going to be the same for me ..i can relate but my twin did not make it and I also found him. Perhaps time to make new memories..ones he might be able to understand and even make him smile..sadly id say start over as if teaching a young child.
Pm anytime
@Bluewolf1229
thank you 💜 I’m sorry you’ve been through this, too. My brother is also my twin, my heart aches that you lost him 😢
It is time for new memories, I have to keep reminding myself that. Every day I try to help make him happy. Some days he’s really agitated and we can only guess why, it makes me so sad and like I’m not doing enough. I just want to see him smiling and laughing 😞
Thank you for the offer, I don’t think I can pm you (Im a teen) but I appreciate it a lot 💜
I Understand yeah Im an Adult ..Take Care of yourself to..there are many great folks on this site.
LNL
B
@loloxjoy
I am inviting you to join me the Sharing Circle chat room where you will meet other members
of 7Cups.com 😊. I have found that the Sharing Circle helps by giving me a place to share
the challenges that i face in my life and to receive support from other members of 7Cups.com !
@loloxjoy
Wow, really melt my heart to hear about what happened, that must have been so traumatic and hard to deal with, not only then, but now,
7 Cups is a great community and you can get so much here, so welcome and I hope you make full use of the site.
If you want a chat, my inbox is open to you.
You can speak to teen listeners, and we also have authorised adults who can speak to under 18's called ATL's (Adult-Teen Listeners)
I hope to hear from you, if not, lots of love to you and your family <3
@iCareUK
its so hard. I have good and bad days but it affects me constantly. Even when I think I’m doing well something happens and it all hits me again 😢
I hope being here can help, I know there’s a lot I still have to check out more fully. I appreciate the info and support so much, I’ll definitely be in touch 🥲💜