My Unforgettable Past.

Growing up i lived in a toxic family, every time i used to make a mistake, my dad would either smack me, or shout at me in an unhealthy way. I now dont feel comfortable talking to him as i do my mother. I see him making an effort after growing up to have a good relationship with me, but every time i give it a go, and make a mistake, i get shouted at in a hurtful way. Basically all my life ive been living in fear and anxiety of making a mistake and eating it afterwards. Ive become very sensitive after everything and very introverted sometimes around my closest friends as well. As for my mother i always feel judged (i used to be so confident when i was young), but she always pointed out certain features on my face, my bone structure (im sure not with bad intentions) but because of how much ive heard it, it just made me so insecure of the way i look in a toxic way, i cant even take a compliment without feeling like that person is just saying it to make me feel better of myself. I now dont know exactly what it is im feeling, but i dont want to feel like this anymore, i just want to be happy.