Having to choose
I have full custody of my son. He lives with me and my wife (his step mom). He came to us roughly a year ago after a large fight with his mom. She kicked him out after he became manipulative and abusive towards her. When his mom called to inform me, I dropped everything and went to get him right away. (We’re about 10 hours away) I moved him in with me and we began the difficult task of getting him the help he needed. Through one school year, you could see massive change in him. He came to us as a kid who was taking swings at my pregnant wife. By the end of the school year, everybody was commenting on his huge turnaround and how fantastic he was doing. Per the parenting plan, he had to go spend the summer with his mom. I was afraid there would be regression. The day before he was supposed to come home, I knew I was right when he started asking to stay longer and trying to manipulate me into getting what he wanted. I ended up giving in and letting him stay an extra couple weeks. Fast forward I pick him up and bring him home. First day back is fantastic. Second day I can tell something is off. He was moping around and being not himself. When I asked him what was wrong, he stated he wanted to move back in with his mother. Not because he preferred it with her. But because the rest of his family is there. We set up a chat with his mom. We discussed the situation and agreed it was best for him to stay here with me. Immediately, the manipulation returned. He accused myself and my wife of abusing him. He refused to apologize because it was “his truth”. Still now, unapologetic. This made my wife extremely uncomfortable. She could lose her job and custody of our daughter if he made such accusations. She became uncomfortable being around him. She said she would no longer be alone with him because she needed a witness since he would throw around such accusations. She then then began to worry that he may escalate to violence to get what he wanted. It left me in a difficult spot. Protect my wife and daughter by making my teenager leave, or possibly ruin my marriage by allowing him to stay. I feel trapped in the middle. My son’s mom agreed to take him. And now he feels unwanted. He was kicked out of his moms, now he’s been kicked out of here. I hate having to choose, and I’m wondering if I made the right decision. This is killing me. I have been unable to sleep. Unable to take care of my daughter. I’m having issues just talking with my wife. She’s afraid I will come to resent her. I just want to be able to protect everyone and make everyone happy while keeping my family together. Did I make the wrong decision?