How to deal with lack of support…
I am having trouble because I don’t have much access to professional help at the moment and most of the people in my life are not very understanding of what’s going on with me (I barely understand either) Since puberty I’ve struggled with my mental health and possibly binge eating disorder and at times other disordered eating/ behaviors. A lot of it stems from the really stupid societal beauty standards that are constantly pushed onto me from society but especially by my family. Specifically I love my sister and mom and they are supportive about a lot of things but they almost always are either neutral or negative about my body and blame me or shut down when I try to talk to them about it.
I’ve actually had multiple periods of times where I thought they were finally understanding where I’m coming from and going through but pretty much every time a few weeks later they will make a comment that sends me into a shame spiral and makes me feel so so so awful. I know they’re going through a lot on their own and also have issues with their bodies but it feels so lonely especially because they often seem like a united front and I feel like I have no one especially over the holidays where I don’t see my friends all that much. I’m just so tired and sad by all this. My mom and sister are very important to me yet they hurt me and aren’t very responsive when I tell them. Maybe I should try harder to explain but I’m just so tired… I feel that I’ve made progress with my sense of self and body image but I feel so hurt by them and feel like they set me back quite often with their worldview and I have no clue how to deal with this…sorry for the rambling and if I didn’t follow the thread etiquette very well. I’m pretty new to posting and also kind of at my wits end. I hope whoever’s reading this is doing better
@toadofstool
It is hard to get consistent support from those whom in the past has made comments etc.
society can only influence you as much as you let it and there are many ways every article and magazine seems to show ways a person is not measuring up. It is a false idea we all must measure up one of the most depressing things is to compare yourself with fake images
I have found in most situations a persons best and loyal support and coach is themselves .... to be able to look in mirror you can not rationalize or make excuses. in my world i had sisters who said things not because i had a problem but because they wanted to knock me down a bit to feel better about themselves.
How do you just stop being influenced though? It feels like my brain knows all the answers and to just not care what others think but at the same time my emotions still are influenced without my brain wanting them to. Also how do you deal with the loneliness?
@toadofstool
I'm glad you posted. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with support from your family. I know it can be tough on families when they don't understand. I know it can be painful when it seems like they are getting it then it seems like they don't.
When people don't really struggle with food, they don't understand the intensity that food can have, or the power that food has for helping to cope with situations and/or emotions internally.
The fact that you are reaching out show how much you are working on you are your struggle to be healthy and to get support. Sometimes we do need to reach outside of family and friends to get support.
I'm glad you've reached out here. Have you considered joining an online support group or one in your area where you can get support from others struggling with an eating disorder? Groups where you can meet with others struggling as you are and who are struggling with an eating disorder as you are can provide the support that many others can't because they haven't been there.
Please keep posting as you need to.
