Not Eating/Excessive Food Anxiety
Trigger Warning: [edited by 24Help1 5/8/20]
Why calories have to exist? I enjoy food so frickin' much. I dealt with binge eating disorder for like...a year and had terrible experiences. Now I am not eating anything at all and I started to lose weight and started to like the way i look but it gets harder mentally. And i don't wanna hear about ''healthy eating/clean eating'' stuff anymore. Bullshit. I just wanna be able to eat whenever i want and whatever i want and not gain weight. Just why? I cant stop questioning it. And i dont know how can i start eating food again either. I dont know how to ask for help and anyways, who can help me? Its impossible. I wanna be able to binge on sweets, all the delicious food without gaining weight. Who the fuck can make it possible? I am just surviving on water and black coffee. Sometimes its just water. Its stupid. The way its created. Its stupid from the very beginning and no one can change my mind.