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Not Eating/Excessive Food Anxiety

Trigger Warning: [edited by 24Help1 5/8/20]

Why calories have to exist? I enjoy food so frickin' much. I dealt with binge eating disorder for like...a year and had terrible experiences. Now I am not eating anything at all and I started to lose weight and started to like the way i look but it gets harder mentally. And i don't wanna hear about ''healthy eating/clean eating'' stuff anymore. Bullshit. I just wanna be able to eat whenever i want and whatever i want and not gain weight. Just why? I cant stop questioning it. And i dont know how can i start eating food again either. I dont know how to ask for help and anyways, who can help me? Its impossible. I wanna be able to binge on sweets, all the delicious food without gaining weight. Who the fuck can make it possible? I am just surviving on water and black coffee. Sometimes its just water. Its stupid. The way its created. Its stupid from the very beginning and no one can change my mind.

6
Nourah21 May 9th, 2020
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@whydyouonlycallmewhenyourehigh

this is worded exactly as what i have been going through lately, isn't it strangely wonderful how someone you absolutely don't know is experiencing the same things you are?

listen, you are not alone, and trust me, i am doing the same, don't be guilty.. this had happened for a reason and takes quite a long while to recover.

24Help1 May 8th, 2020
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@whydyouonlycallmewhenyourehigh

I completely understand this feeling, it is so difficult. But we can always get help. That's why recovery is possible, this entire community is built on recovery! Sometimes professional help is also needed to really help us heart But we are never past the point of getting better and recovering. You can always connect with a listener and they can support you with your recovery too! Thank you so much for opening up here, we really appreciate your vulnerability.

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@24Help1

thank you <3

ESTEF May 8th, 2020
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@whydyouonlycallmewhenyourehigh

Hi, I am sorry that you feel like that, I have been there so I understand a little... I wish we could eat anything too and calories wouldnt exist...

dont give up

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@ESTEF

Yeah, i won't give up but i am afraid that this will be on not eating probably.Thank you anyways for the support <3

passionateCup3122 May 9th, 2020
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First of all you should work on your thoughts, I know Ed is very hard to face lonely, but I was here and now I am on my way to move on ......1- try not to look at mirror for week or even look at yourself 2- don't follow this harmful voice....all people may get fat even those super models 3- you should accept what you are and love your self .....try to make simple self-care routine ....it will help ......but honestly I don't know how to start eat u should see a doctor to avoid wrong things......believe that move on is possible.......and in the end "we all love and I am here for u "