Eating Disorders- What is scariest about your eating disorder?
im recovering but I miss it so much. I want my Ed back and it scares me how much I loved and still love it
@Cschiralli99 - I can definitely relate. That eating disorder filled a big place in your life, and it's hard not to miss something that was such a big thing to you. But replacing it with something new can help. What are some of the things that you can do now that you're not focusing on an eating disorder?
Mine is that I won't be able to stop once I have started
@gracyncompton - Won't be able to stop what? The eating disorder or the recovery?
Im scared that I dont even really qualify for having an ED, that Im not skinny enough to be worried or even I dont deserve to recover if i do and thats scary
@Emma234512 - That was one of my biggest challenges in reaching out for help. I struggled for so long with feeling like if I wasn't emaciated, I wasn't sick. But that's just not true. In my support group, there were a lot of people, of all shapes and sizes, and weight was absolutely not the best indicator of health. And when I was at my sickest was not when I was at my thinnest.
Right now, right here, you are sick enough to get help. You deserve to get help. You need help. And when you get it, you have a whole life of joy and love ahead of you, and you deserve it.
@Emma234512 you don't have to be skinny to have an eating disorder. There are a lot of people out there in different stages of recovery and they still have eating disorders and they aren't skinny anymore.
What scares me the most is that even if choose to change my behaviors and gain weight, my brain won't ever stop with the eating disorder. Meaning that while i will be physically healthy i will continue to suffer emotionally. I have recently relapsed for lack of a better word after 5 years of healthy weight simply because the eating disordered thoughts never left my brain. All that changed was my weight.
@Notquiteanonymous - You're right that fixing the weight without fixing the emotional side will mean not ever fully getting over it. But you can also work on that side. Talking to a therapist, attending a support group, journaling, doing art therapy, talking to listeners here, etc. are all ways to begin that work. And I promise you that it is possible, even when it feels like it isn't.
@Anomalia thank you. I put myself back into therapy, this time with an eating disorder specialist. Hopefully together we can fix what's going on internally.
@Notquiteanonymous - That's fantastic! I'm really impressed by and proud of you for taking that step! And if you ever need any extra support, you can feel free to PM me. :)
@Anomalia i just started using this app today so when I figure out how to do that I just might. Thank you so much
The scariest for me about my eating disorder is back in August I lost my biggest support and my son and husband don't help my eating disorder, they hinder it.
@Rufina77 - I'm sorry that your husband and son haven't been able to support you in recovery and that you've lost your biggest supporter. Who can you think of who might be able to step up and help you without that person around? What pieces of your support system are still in place?
@Anomalia the support I lost was my outpatient clinic, it was a whole team. There is no support in the town I live in so I don't know where to turn anymore.
@Rufina77 - Then I'm glad you've come here. It's not the same as an outpatient clinic, and I won't pretend that it can replace it, but there are tons of resources and support here. You can PM me if you want to talk, vent, ask questions, get support or accountability, etc. If I'm not online, there are loads of other listeners who want to help, too. You can read messages of support and ideas here in the forums or seek resources. You can use our group support to connect with others, or do mindfulness exercises in the Mood Boost area to keep focused. We will help in any way we can.
And I KNOW that you can do this.
