ED Community Forum Discussion: Hunger
Let's talk about hunger!
What was once viewed as a simple biological mechanism of survival has become very complicated with societal body image pressures and our culture's deep investment in diet culture.
For those struggling with or recovering from an eating disorder, hunger can be conflicting, confusing, frustrating, scary, extreme, and can bring up a variety of other emotional responses.
We tend to view hunger as an enemy, something to conquer. Or we approach it with unfair skepticism: "Well, maybe I'm not ACTUALLY hungry, maybe I'm thirsty or tired or sad and shouldn't give my body what it thinks it wants"
Hunger is a completely normal, adaptive, and essential physical cue. When we try to override our hunger by ignoring it or tricking it through various methods, we are attempting to turn off a mechanism that keeps us alive and functioning. In recovery, you may notice at first that you "don't feel hungry"--your body has gotten so used to speaking up asking to be fed and being ignored and suppressed time and time again until it has quieted down--this does NOT mean you don't need food or need less food. This means, conversely, that your body is in such desperate need of food that it can't even accurately signal to you anymore. It is common as recovery continues, at any point in the journey, to experience increased hunger. Your body is thinking "yes yes yes! we are getting fed! let's eat as much as we can because we are so deprived and don't know when we'll be given permission to eat again." These feelings of increased hunger can be frustrating and scary, but are completely normal and adaptive--your body is doing everything it can to do its job and keep us alive. Restrictive/dieting mindsets can increase cravings and hunger even if you aren't actively restricting your intake or even if you are engaging in bingeing behaviors--our bodies are very smart, and they can hear us when we are plotting to deprive them.
Hunger is normal. We need and deserve to honor our hunger and fullness cues. It's okay to eat when we're hungry. It's okay to eat when we're NOT hungry. It's okay to eat past fullness at times. It's okay to eat to connect with others, to treat ourselves, to comfort ourselves. Food is not the enemy. Hunger is not the enemy.
This excerpt "Our Fear of Hunger" from Caroline Dooner helps us to think about our relationship with hunger, and how to befriend it:
Our bodies are wired to be afraid of hunger, hormonally. The hunger hormone ghrelin rises whenever you haven't eaten enough food, and it makes you extra hungry AND slows down your metabolism to conserve energy until you eat enough food. Your body is trying to guard you against eating less and [to keep you alive], so it wants you to fixate on eating as much as you can get your hands on. It NEEDS you to try and avoid long periods of hunger. That's how a species survives--prioritizing eating and satiation.
Hunger begins to feel like the enemy in so many ways. And, not for nothing, diet books and gurus also make it seem like hunger is an issue that we need to eradicate. "Hungry all the time? It's because you're eating the wrong foods! Eat the foods on my scientific pan and you'll literally never be hungry again!"
So now you associate hunger not ONLY with biological discomfort and panic, but also with bingeing and feeling like a failure.
Let's take a moment to remember that people who are not hungry are usually very sick. Lack of hunger is NOT a good sign. It means that something is wrong, and maybe your [body is shutting down]. Still, I cannot tell you how many diets I have read and followed where the promise was always some version of becoming cravingless and not hungry. The message was always that your HUNGER was sabotaging your attempts at health and beauty. This creates a major disconnect between you and your body. I mean, if you can't trust your body's signals, then what CAN you trust?
[...] Getting out of famine mode is the closest to "not hungry" you will ever get. Basically, get your body to a place where it's not SCARED that it won't get to eat. You'll still get hungry, it just won't feel so epic and out of control. Now I know that when I get hungry, I have the liberty and obligation to eat as much as I want and need.
If you have any sort of fear of hunger, you can cure it through consistent, simple eating. Surprise, surprise!
The more eating is expected, allowed, consistent, and rule-free, the more your body and mind will be allowed to calm down about it. The more you consistently let yourself eat, the more you will learn that hunger is just a completely normal and fixable part of the day.
When you are hungry you are supposed to, and allowed to, eat. You are also allowed to get full. And when you finish your food, and are still hungry, you didn't eat enough. It's that simple. And when you stuff yourself with food because of your past fears of not being allowed to eat, that's okay too. It's all learning. I know it sounds too simple to be true, but your compulsion to eat more than you actually want is a symptom of the old rules and fears that there won't be enough food, or that another diet is coming. So make your body sure that another diet is not coming. Hunger is not a failing on your end. The goal is not to eradicate hunger. The goal is to befriend it.
After years of believing that hunger was my actual mortal enemy, I am now hunger's good friend. Though, in a way, hunger IS a mortal enemy. It'll actually [hurt] you if you ignore it. So...stop ignoring it.
Discussion questions:
What is your relationship to hunger currently? How has it changed over time?
What do you think, fear, wish, judge about hunger?
What would it look like or feel like if you were able to honor your hunger unconditionally? Describe how a typical day might feel.
Share any other thoughts you have on hunger or ask any questions that are on your mind after reading about this topic
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What is your relationship to hunger currently? How has it changed over time?
My relationship with hunger currently is in an okay place. It was a lot worse in high school - intentionally restricting so that I could fit into certain clothes and be a certain size. After reaching out, I am slowly starting to learn that even though I don't feel hungry, that doesn't mean I should go the day without eating and that without food, my body won't have the energy to function at its best or be present.
What do you think, fear, wish, judge about hunger?
I certainly think I used to fear feeling hungry and then not being able to stop myself from eating which is why I used to try so hard to restrict. Even now when I feel hungry, I have to tell myself to be mindful and present and to listen to my body rather than simply going through the motions.
What would it look like or feel like if you were able to honor your hunger unconditionally? Describe how a typical day might feel.
If I were to honor my hunger unconditionally, I could see not judging myself when I eat and not comparing myself to those I am around or what they are eating. I could see myself being more comfortable in my own skin and in having the energy to do the things I love doing.
