Wish me luck

My mental health has been spiraling since New Year's and I wanted to feel better today so I thought 'What do normal people do for self-care?' I found cookie mix and so I baked and I had some cookies and then it hit me that oh, right, I'm not normal. I haven't slept in 2 days and I have an eating disorder. I've never purged but I want to purge or cry, I feel sick- physically and mentally. The only thing that's keeping me together is the fact that I have to drive to my PT in 2 minutes. But, now I'm worried that the stress of the triggered eating disorder ontop of the stress of 2 days no sleep ontop of the stress of needing to go in to work tomorrow and not being prepared is going to drive me to yet another mental breakdown where I'll break my sober streak or start cutting again. My hearts been pounding since I spit out the last mouthful of cookie half an hour ago and the pounding won't stop. Just wish me luck that I will somehow pull through today and the rest of the work week, people.