Wanting to recover
I've lived with anorexia for the past 7 years. Every few years, I tell myself I'm going to start eating more and I do. But it's not long before I'm hardly eating anything and excessively exercising again. This time is different: I truly want to recover. But to do that, I know I need help; however, I can't afford to pay for a therapist or specialist at this moment in time because of money reasons. I've been using a couple of therapy apps on my phone that give me support and allow me to talk about what's going on and they've helped me some but I need to talk to a specialist to truly recover and get better. I try not to talk about this with my friends and family because I don't want them to start developing the same thoughts anorexia tells me. I feel kind of alone and isolated because of it, but I am trying to get help.
I think if seeing a therapist/specialist isn't possible in the near future, then you have to open up to someone else you can trust. I don't see how venting to someone about your struggles with anorexia will influence them to adopt those behaviors. Maybe start with a close relative with whom you can confide in. The online help is nice and all, but it's best to look into someone's eyes and see that they care about you and hear their words of encouragement.
Best wishes, Cain