I'M TIRED
I am really sorry to inform you that I am tired of searching for listeners regarding my anorexia nervosa. The listeners I found are either misogynistic or totally uninformed about the issue. They ask me to just EAT more as if it's that simple; as if I am not eating in order to follow an ADVANCED diet.
They tell me that I need to stop fussing about it as if I am just grabbing attention. I and several others are losing pounds and pounds, and feeling hungry all day. Who would WANT to do that? We have a mental disorder but we aren't crazy.
They tell me ED is a choice. They tell me ED is all in our mind and can be changed like turning off a light bulb, and that we don't need help at all.
I am really tired of this. I think we ED patients might have done the worst of crimes in our past lives, and this is our punishment.
@SrijanSinha I feel you :(
Sometimes it's just hard for other people to understand WHY you would feel ike that, so they try to give advice based on what they would do. The thing is that they don't have the same mindset, so that advice doesn't always apply well. We need more open-minded peple, best of luck with your health Sinha, peace <3
@pizzabhoi
That's very true, Pizzaboy. I am super thankful to you for responding. People have two right choices, either READ about it or DON'T give an opinion. It's okay to NOT know things, it's okay to be UNINFORMED, it's okay to NOT be super knowledgable. But it's NOT okay to give advice when you aren't sure how dangerous it can be, and how it can force us into starving more than we already are.
Thank you again, I am glad people like you also exist. <3 <3
@SrijanSinha
Thank you so much for speaking up about this. I am truly proud of you. It can be really frustrating and discouraging when we reach out for help expecting something, and we get something else instead. I am really sorry you had to experience that. Your feelings are valid, and it is truly disappointing how listeners often dismiss our problems and feelings instead of listening and validating our feelings. This is not active listening. I wonder if those listeners are really trained enough to know what active listening is; perhaps not. I truly hope they take everything into consideration, and thank you once again for speaking up about this.
@Hyacinth22
Of course, Flower. Thank you for the kind and encouraging words. I mean, I am not crazy right? Why would I torture myself on purpose? Why would I want to miss out on the delicacies my friends are having? I don't WANT that, I am not in CHARGE. Anorexia is, and he's stronger. He has turned me into something else. I feel like I'll be happy if I lose weight, but I am never satisfied. The weight loss is never enough until you are totally empty.
In fact, I don't even need an expert for this. I just need a kind soul who listens to me. Sadly, I don't even get that. :(
Thank you for responding, Flower. It means a lot.
@SrijanSinha
You are not crazy. It makes complete sense to feel the way you do in your situation, Srijan. I would have felt the same way too. Anorexia isn't easy to deal with, it is a disorder that can seriously damage our mental and physical health. Of course you don't WANT to be anorexic. Nobody wants that. You suffer from a disorder that could be extremely damaging. What you're feeling makes total sense. It is okay to feel this way, and yes I may not have anorexia, but I can definitely imagine how tough it is to battle this disorder and yourself every day. I hear you. And I truly hope you're able to find a suitable listener, someone who listens to you, and validates your feelings, soon.
@SrijanSinha It is well known that too many of our listeners are not very good at listening, sadly. Work is in progress to fix that, but it is a difficult challenge and it will probably take some time to turn things around.
@EvelyneRose is leading a new quality initiative here: Evelyne's Quality Gazebo You might like to contribute to the discussion there, based on your experiences.
To find a good listener, I would suggest you look in Browse Listeners for a listener who has helped a lot of people and who has a lot of good reviews. I would suggest that expert knowledge of ED is less important, because when people think they have a lot of knowledge, it often means they have a lot of opinions.
It's also important to report any listener who is misogynistic or who makes uninformed suggestions, so that the listener can get help to improve.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie
Hii Charlie, thank you much for responding. This encourages me.
What I want to convey through this thread is that I don't really want people to have a ton of knowledge about ED, or even read about it if it's not in your interest. All I am asking to tell us in advance that they aren't informed, or if they still talk, being kind and supportive could really help.
Most listeners act like they are trained doctors, and give advice. That is what is wildly hurtful and triggering, and puts me back into starving myself more.
Thank you again for responding, and giving me the resources. I'll check out Evelyn's new thread with hope. Looking forward optimistically towards it...
@SrijanSinha
Srijan, thank you so much for posting. I apologize that you had that experience, and I can see why that would be frustrating. We are working on some things that hopefully will help, but in the meantime feel free to check out the section I made that @RarelyCharlie posted, and add any thoughts. Please feel free to PM me anytime and I'll get back to you ASAP.
@SrijanSinha
I understand you , it can be really tiresome and annoying when people dont understand you. But Im there if you wanna talk about it . It is not your fault to have it and with your amazing personality I know you will overcome it.
