Anorexia- What triggered negative relation to food/ your body?

I think my perfectionism and need for control, I had to control my weight. I also think being skinny as a child then hitting puberty and undergoing a lot of changes freaked me out so much that I didn't really know how to cope with it.

My negative relation started when I was overweight. It started with my wanting to prove to everyone that I was strong enough to lose weight. The obsession quickly started and before I knew it I was trapped in a hell that I couldn't get out.... And am still trapped in today. Once i got started, I couldn't stop. now it's time to prove to everyone I'm strong enough to get better which is much more difficult.

My negative relationship with food-which I can't call an ed, cause I'm not officially diagnosed- started when I was about 9-10 years old. Since I was small, everybody would tell me how beautiful I was, how skinny and tall I was. So I was scared of getting fat and disappointing everybody. I also didn't believe them, I thought I was fat for a long time at that age and would often compare myself with my friends. When I turned 11 I kinda forgot about that but It came once again at 12 years old. I had started secondary school, so I was scared and felt like I had to look good, or I would be bullied and hated. So I decided to start a diet, that turned into more than that soon.

Although I'm not officially diagnosed I think my negative thoughts towards food and my body started in grade 2. Me an my friend would sit in her room and grab our fat to see who was fatter. I have this friends who has always been a slightly better version of me, always skinnier, always prettier and stuff like that. When I got to grade 6 I realized if I just limit what I eat I can lose weight. I became obsessed with healthy eating for a little bit then when that wasn't paying off I switched to not eating and now I'm where I am now.

This might be a strange "trigger," but it's the only reason that makes any sense to me. When I was in 11th grade, I got really sick with salmonella, and for about two weeks the only thing that I would eat was beef broth and jello. Ever since then, it's like food has lost all appeal to me. Whenever I think about food, it just makes me disgusted. I don't care about my weight, but I can't stand food or the though of eating. Thinking about all the chemicals and poisons that corporations put into our foods really terrifies me. I became a vegetarian because of my fear of all the chemicals they feed to animals. Sometimes I worry that anything that I buy from the store will be tainted with poison, and that only plants and animals that I raise myself will ever be clean enough to be safe. I want to live out in the country just so I can grow and raise my own food and not have to worry about people trying to poison me.

my fear is people making fun of me or not fnding lovee

My family triggered me. My mum and dad have always been thin, and they would always feed me so much, I thought they were trying to fatten me up. Then my mum got lypo, to become even thinner and she basically stopped eating after that. My brother is overweight, and I didn't want to end up like him. Also, in my year 7 health test, I was found overweight. So I wanted to lose weight, and about a year and a half later I started being extreme, and I wanted to be thinner than my mum, and prove that I wasn't fat. Also, just being around all the people in my class made me feel bad everyday, because they are always so much thinner than me, no matter how much weight I lose. And social media as well, having to see them post flat stomachs, thigh gaps and workout photos.

it sorta started with my friend... we where just talking this one time and she just starts complaining about like how shes so mad bc shes "under [edited by Anomalia for weight specifics / triggers] pounds" and so idk I GUESS I WANTED TO BE UNDER [edited] POUNDS TOO but looking back i relize she was probebly lying because like she didnt look under [edited] but now she like got me into this mind set that i HAVE to be skinnier then every one else or else i just feel so bad about myself

I was triggered by two separate events/occurrences: 1)starting my first year in college and feeling like I had no control. I was told I was going to attend the same community college my sister had gone to as a means of transitioning from homeschooling my whole life to 'the outside world.' I was also not allowed to pick out what classes I wanted to take: more or less I was told 'you will take this, and this, and this.' Also my mother and sister were on me constantly to not gain the freshman fifteen. I was already slender to begin with, so there was no real chance of that. And also, I was doing something else during the evenings, which leads me to

2)wanting my ballet teacher to notice me. I was doing ballet 4 to 5 nights a week after a full day of classes and he was forever criticizing all of us and our bodies, how big our legs were. I wanted him to see that someone was listening to him. He was very demanding but a good teacher and praise from him was rare, so when you got it you glowed. And I wanted to glow. I respected him more than I did my father.

I was triggered by a few things. 1st my friend being underweight. 2nd College. I took an online degree at home beccause my family didn't think I would do well at university. I became depressed and needed control over something in my life.