My little disability space [TW]

@Tinywhisper11

its actually a different friend hehe! Ive been branching out and making more friends even though its scary. I was going to take pain meds but it was 1am and everyone had already gone to sleep. ❤️❤️ hugsss❤️❤️ I will tell my mum and she might call the dr aha, 

how have you been Lola? 

Ive been super stressed lately, I have a crazy band audition on Saturday. Im worried about it aha. I want to see my boyfriend but he isn't scheduling anything so I'm going to invite him over on Sunday hehe 🥺

@AvyIsKing aww dw I'm sure your boyfriend has just been busy with homework and stuff ❤ and worried about band practice? I bet your the most talented one out of all of them, so no need to be stressed, go and show em all how it's done ❤ did your mum call the doctor?? How is your pain level now? And yaaay! I'm proud of you ❤ the more friends the better, well done ❤

@Tinywhisper11

I asked him if he wanted to come over in-between church times and he said maybe (:

My mum didn't call the doctor but my sciatic nerve was hurting with morning and my knee is seized up right now so I took pain meds aboit 4 hours ago. 

I'm actually excited for the band thing ahaha

@AvyIsKing yaaaay! Your very clever to be able to play a musical instrument. Learning music is realllllllllllly hard. I think your mother needs some talking to! She should of phones the doctor😟 now your knees swollen 😨 perhaps it's a bit of a infection, your mum needs to call the doctors. Hugs your pain away ❤❤it's not fair my poor lil friend. And that's good, I'm sure you will see your boyfriend really soon ❤❤

@tinywhisper11 I think it's just because I've been overdoing it on the walking 😔 you heard me, I've been a bit crazy. And I actually play 4instruments, I can play 5 and I'm picking up a 6th hehe. It's like my outlet I love it so much. 

My mom says to keep an eye on it and she might call. 

@AvyIsKing ok I'm gonna sending you my chair ♿ to borrow. And duct tape you in it, so you don't walk for 45 hours😁 wow! Your a musical genius, I'm so proud of you ❤hows the pain eased of a bit today? 

@Tinywhisper11

aha, me has lots of stuff to do though ):

how about we makes a deal. after Saturday i don't have to leave my house for 3 days so i will rest as much as possible (:

pain is meh, there's a hurricane over here so i think that's affecting it. scary storms -w- 

and yayyyyy your voice is back!!! be careful not to make it go away by yelling too loud hehe

@AvyIsKing oh no a hurricane😱 are you safe? How did band practice go?? Is that you in your pfp? It's very cute ❤and ok deal ❤ is jeffy ok with storms???

@Tinywhisper11

I am safe (: band practice was amazing, I got put In a better spot!!! Now I'm playing the highest part (: I'm so happy!!! 

Awww thank you, that is me in my picture, from a few days ago before my party (: 

I have to get up soooooooooo early tomorrow for my audition aha 

@AvyIsKing oh and great news😁 I got my voice back yaaaaaay ❤ la laaaaa laaaaaa laa laa

@Tinywhisper11 laaaaa laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

So yesterday was insane. I had that crazy band audition and i was running around all day and my foot really hurt ):

oh and Friday I was in band rehearsing and my entire arm went numb like my foot does. Its weird. I was very embarrassed and alsl confused and scared. My arm isn't supposed to do that. My mum thinks I pinched a nerve but I was just moving my arm like I do all the time it wasn't even crazy. Then there was the shooting pains and it hurt 😔 

Ah my dog just jumped on the bed Im making ): 

Anyway back to the audition. I didn't make it in, they auditioned aboit 350 kids and only 50 make it in. But I'm first alternate which basically means if someone gets sick they call me. I'm really proud of myself, considering I took 6 months off, and only have been playing for about 5 months. These kids I was up against practice everyday for hours and have private lessons, and everything. 

Taking it easy today, just cleaning my room because my boyfriend is coming over in about an hour (: we are going to snuggle and watch a movie. 

My dog is mad I want him off my bed so I can finish making it. 

@AvyIsKing wow! That dog is huge, don't make him mad😱😱 well done sweetie, you did a great job at the band thing. I'm very proud of you ❤❤❤ and yaaay! You and your boyfriend time. Don't forget to drop hints for what you want for Valentine's day 😁 awww bless you, was your arm numb for long?? It could of been a nerve. But I don't know, the body is a weird thing😕 are you ok now?

@Tinywhisper11

my other dog is even bigger 😮 thank you, I'm really proud of myself too 🥺 me and my boyfriend had a lovely time. He wasn't feeling well but he knew I needed snuggles so he came over anyway. My blankets smell like him now. It makes me feel so so safe. Valentines day is actually our 4 month anniversary, I just want some hugs aha. He kissed my forehead yesterday, it was the best thing ever. My arm is okay now, it's weird that that happened lol. We are having a huge snow storm here which means my arthritis is acting upn😔 hugssss❤️❤️❤️

Just going to rant because im upset.

Because of my condition, I get ingrown toenails a lot. Like every 6-8 weeks. I didn't know til today that you usually go to a dr to get those removed... I just yoink em myself. Anyway my one toe is infected and hurts like crap, so yay /sarc

I'm so sick of this

@AvyIsKing hey sweetie ❤ I just read and replyed to your awssssome news post. I'm sooooooo proud of you ❤❤❤

Oh yeah come to think of it, 3 elderly people here at the carehome, actually have a nurse who comes out every like 6 weeks to clip their nails. Not sure if their ingrown, or if they just have trouble reaching. Why did your doctor not tell you this😞 you really need to come to UK, our health care sounds so much better than most countries, it's very sad. Hugs you tightly ❤ I wish I could have your pain instead of you, if I could have it off you I would. I'm glad your bf came over, you sound a cute couple ❤ please take some pain killers if you haven't already. Hugs you tightly ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11 no i dont want you to hurt more 🥺 it's okay now, got some cream on it, trying to just make it better. I don't like pain meds I don't know why. My boyfriend is the best, he is amazing. Maybe I can get his permission to show you a picture 😁😁😁 hugssss ❤️❤️❤️ you are amazing lola buddy 

@AvyIsKing I know but I would happily take all your pain away, if I could ❤❤ I know you don't like taking pain meds, that's why I nag so much😁 puts on mummy voice "their for your own good! Young lady" 😁😎 hugs you tightly ❤

@Tinywhisper11

hugsss I might take some tomorrow 🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️

not sure why but im in so much pain. i took pain meds almost an hour ago and its not helping and its making me cranky ): i don't even want to eat or take my other meds this morning 

Tw-drugs

mixed my high strength pain cream and tylenol and it still hurts but I feel AWESOME like I feel floaty and everything feels wonderful

@AvyIsKing 😂😂😂 I'm glad your feeling high, and awsome. But that's probably not a good thing. I'm sorry your in so much pain😥gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

unfortunetly it didnt last very long, about an hour and a half later i was back to unbearable pain ): was up til like 7am, just woke up (1:30pm)

@AvyIsKing hugs you tightly ❤ I feeling your pain today😭 I just want to cry

@Tinywhisper11 noooo i hope you feel better ): maybe its cause the cold. ill take your pain (: 

@AvyIsKing it is minus 5 degrees here tonight, so yeah the cold don't help. I have a chest infection and flu. I'm taking my second course of antibiotics and steroids, but the coughing with a broken spine, hurrrtsss 😭

@tinywhisper11 oh goshness lola that doesnt sound fun at all ): sending healing beams and huggies <3 

might try and get my mum to get me to the dr today i dunno, pain is bad 

@AvyIsKing yes that's good, the doctor will help you ❤❤ hope you feel better soon ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤

@Tinywhisper11

I took a different kind of pain meds I'm hoping it works 

@AvyIsKing oh ok! The doctor have you been ones to try?  I hope they helped you, even if just a little bit? Hugs you tightly ❤

@Tinywhisper11 the doctor gave* you new ones* to try? Sorry I just woke up ❤

@Tinywhisper11 all good, no i just took ibuprofen instead of my acetaminophen, it didn't work. 

Im going to go on a rant, no one has to read this. TW

Pain hasn't been so intense in so long. It hurts so bad. My friends are thinking about in college and I don't know if I'm going to be able to walk in 6 months. i might not even finish school. Im so done. Pain meds work for about 45 minutes, then it's back to unbearable pain. I was groaning on the couch because it hurts and my mom literally said "I know your foot hurts, but you arent sick, so stop being so dramatic" sometimes I just want love. Sometimes I just want someone to see how bad I struggle, I get it her stomach hurts but shes my mum, she should care. I feel like I'm the only one irl who cares about my health. I feel so insignificant and small. Ive spent the pqst 4 hours debating sewerslide. Im just so done. Im tired. All these people do is hurt me. They like watching me suffer. I cant be a normal teenager and worry about my hair and my makeup or go out with my friends because I just cant do it. I still take care of people. When will I stop taking care of people and finally get some love myself??? 

@AvyIsKing it's good to rant, get it all out ❤ I hear you and I feel for you. Being in constant pain, feeling alone. It's sometimes seems like the only option sometimes is ending it ourselves😞 but keep fighting please. You can do this, and it'll be worth the fight in the end. I really hope soon the doctors will move their butts, and make you all better ❤ it's horrible thinking your not like other teenagers, that other people are normal, and you can't be😥 I understand that, but don't let that destroy your mind. You are perfect and special in every way, oneday soon it's all gonna be ok ❤ hugs you tightly ❤

@Tinywhisper11

i guess part of me is just scared. what if this doesn't fix it? im just sick of being alone i guess 

struggling with school today, having a hard time focusing. 

my mom just came in and literally said 'well maybe your foot would feel better if you cleaned your room." and " i get it school is hard but afterwards to relax you can clean your room" i love the passive aggressive snides /sarcastic 

i wish she would understand, or at least pretend to care 

@AvyIsKing I know it's scary, but they will make you better ❤ and your mum...  Damn!... That woman needs some talking too. Hugs you tightly ❤ how is your pain today?

@Tinywhisper11

pain is okay i guess. band was canceled so i got to sleep in a lot. its really exhausting to hurt all the time. my mum has been being real mean lately and she screamed at me last night and i like physically shut down. i ended up explaining to my best friend (idk if i told you, but she lives in a different state and i went to visit her xD) about what happened a bit in my childhood and shes a lot more understanding now. 

im kind of glad i didn't have band because i cant really walk xD

hugssss

@AvyIsKing I'm so sorry sweetie 😞 I wish I was there to look after you properly. You don't deserve all this. Hugs you tightly ❤❤ I'm always here for you ❤

@Tinywhisper11

thanks it means the world to me really. Just counting down the days til I can move in with a friend and then my bf (: